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Yeah but it's not about that. It's about the fact that they make their own money so they have the right to use on what they want. If you make your own income then you can get your own car. It's not about who earned the money. It's about that each person makes an income so they can spend that money on something they desire. I'm sure most healthy marriages aren't all about throwing every cent they make into a community pool anymore.
Uh.
I'm sure they are.
Maybe not literally, but figuratively.
Creating further divisive strategies isn't a good idea in my book.
I was going to say the same thing about you driving your own car and he driving his - why do you interchange your cars anyway... BUT since it now sounds like he just wants the cheapest car out there that is reliable, this difference of opinion could be about more than just cars if you really can't stand it that much. I'm not going to play psychologist here and suggest what to do - but I have to ask if this kind of difference in mentality stretches beyond cars in your relationship. It would be no wonder why you titled this thread the way you did.
I completely agree about getting 2 different categories of cars rather than 2 ho-hum sedans.
My wife and I kept separate accounts for years bc of taxes, but it was always OUR money.
A spouse is not a child. You don't say, "Fine, but YOU have to pay for it."
A family's resources are just that...the family's.
I always buy my own vehicles. Why would I expect my spouse to pay for my vehicle when I am the one driving it and choosing it. Same goes for my spouse's vehicle. We each decide what kind of vehicle we want, when we want it and then go buy it. We never say "Fine, then YOU pay for it.". It's already a given. You see, when 2 people are paying for it, then you are stuck with input and approval from 2 people. And that's not working for the OP.
I wonder how many other married couples each pick our their own vehicle and also pay for it separately. I bet it's close to 50/50. That's not to say that one side is right or one side is wrong.
Last edited by sware2cod; 11-23-2013 at 06:15 PM..
I always buy my own vehicles. Why would I expect my spouse to pay for my vehicle when I am the one driving it. Same goes for my spouse's vehicle. We each decide what kind of vehicle we want, when we want it and then go buy it.
We do the same thing (buy the car we want) without all this MINE MINE stuff.
My wife and I kept separate accounts for years bc of taxes, but it was always OUR money.
A spouse is not a child. You don't say, "Fine, but YOU have to pay for it."
A family's resources are just that...the family's.
Nonsense woman. Your situation does not fit because you had it already established a pool. It's not like you actually had your money set away so you're no different then a couple who had a joint account except for taxes. Yes, if a partner wants one thing and the other wants something different. It's all fair for that person to use their own money and not use money from the other spouse without the other spouse understanding it. You act like the husband has the right to use his wife's money without her blessing simply because they are married. Absolute hogwash. The family's resources are what the two partners designate as the resources. It can be all to some to none. If you make an income of your own then you have every right to do with it as you please.
Nonsense woman. Your situation does not fit because you had it already established a pool. It's not like you actually had your money set away so you're no different then a couple who had a joint account except for taxes. Yes, if a partner wants one thing and the other wants something different. It's all fair for that person to use their own money and not use money from the other spouse without the other spouse understanding it. You act like the husband has the right to use his wife's money without her blessing simply because they are married. Absolute hogwash. The family's resources are what the two partners designate as the resources. It can be all to some to none. If you make an income of your own then you have every right to do with it as you please.
Wha-? What are you talking about? We don't even have our accounts at the same bank.
THere is no bank or account our money ever goes into together.
We never put our paychecks or anything else in the same account. We have separate savings, checking, retirement, investing, etc. We both had a lot of money in these accounts prior to getting together.
There is no pool.
But once we decided to be a family, it has never been about what I make is mine to spend, etc. Why get married, then? What happens when kids come and someone stays at home? Or one gets sick? Do they get no input or things cuz they don't have their own money?
You do whatever YOU want. This is just my opinion. But consider...eight years, two houses, five car changes, one kid...and not one single fight about money or buying something. That's what is behind my advice to be a team instead of grabby grabby mine mine.
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