Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If she buys the car against his wishes, she will be imposing HER will on him.
Believe it or not, most couples have to face the consequence of their partner's decisions, too.
That's why you make them TOGETHER.
So if she buys the car she wants with her money in which he doesn't have to contribute at all. She is imposing her will? Is she forcing him to drive the car she bought with her own money?
So if she buys the car she wants with her money in which he doesn't have to contribute at all. She is imposing her will? Is she forcing him to drive the car she bought with her own money?
Are you being purposefully obtuse or do you really not understand that most people in a couple make financial decisions together because what one does impacts the whole family?
You and I (and some others) stand apart in this simply because we have a crap ton of money (relative to the average population), but I still have enough respect for my wife to include her in decisions about purchases, investments (well, she's in finance, so I'd be dumb not to), etc, even though the answer from her about everything is, "Buy whatever you want."
Are you being purposefully obtuse or do you really not understand that most people in a couple make financial decisions together because what one does impacts the whole family?
You and I (and some others) stand apart in this simply because we have a crap ton of money (relative to the average population), but I still have enough respect for my wife to include her in decisions about purchases, investments (well, she's in finance, so I'd be dumb not to), etc, even though the answer from her about everything is, "Buy whatever you want."
So that goes back on him as well. It impacts the entire family so to get what he wants that doesn't want is just as bad. They can go to entirely different brand entirely that they can agree to but to force her to just shut up and drive what he buys is wrong. Even financially average couples buy without their spouse's input. I've observed it at least. My buying decision doesn't impact my partner. If I buy another car it doesn't impact her. She never has to drive it. My investments and business decisions don't impact her. That isn't because we have enough money separately. Remove that from the equation and my mindset would be the same.
So that goes back on him as well. It impacts the entire family so to get what he wants that doesn't want is just as bad. They can go to entirely different brand entirely that they can agree to but to force her to just shut up and drive what he buys is wrong. Even financially average couples buy without their spouse's input. I've observed it at least. My buying decision doesn't impact my partner. If I buy another car it doesn't impact her. She never has to drive it. My investments and business decisions don't impact her. That isn't because we have enough money separately. Remove that from the equation and my mindset would be the same.
a. I agree with you. He shouldn't shove his decision down her throat either.
b. We have already established you guys aren't really invested in each other, each other's family, etc.
Your example is terrible for a couple who really wants to commit their lives to each other and create a family.
One of the things you learn as a part of the maturing process is that people get very emotional about their cars. Especially in marriages.
Folks argue that the Ford is better than the VW; the Toyota gets better mileage than the GM. The KIA is a better value than the Cadillac. The BMW breaks down all of the time. The Mercedes is a rip off.
And all of the opinions are presented as 'fact'.
Even though basically all cars are the same: Four wheels, a motor, some creature comforts, and a color which you get to choose. 95% of the vehicle is the same.
So, the way in which you deal with the emotion in marriage is you keep your nose out of it. She wants a Ford. Great! He wants a Dodge pick-up. Tremendous. What earthly difference does it make to YOU, as long as the other person is happy with their choice.
Smart spouses help where they are asked to help--maybe in the negotiation process, or to answer questions about whether the crib will fit in the Honda Civic, or the Escalade will fit in the garage. Aside from that, keep out of it. Encourage the spouse to buy what they want to buy, and genuinely pleased with their purchase and wish for them many years of happiness in their new vehicle.
It is SO easy if you just put opinions and emotions aside. And buying a car comes down to exactly that: opinions and emotions. 95% of the car is identical.
I think you have very valid reasons. I have a Subaru Outback and I love it. I am also a woman that loves cars. The Subaru is great for dogs and hauling other things. Here are some tips that might help.
Go to the Truecar website and you can have dealers bid their lowest price to you. If you have a Costco card, you can get 2 grand off the list price. I had 7 dealers competing for my business. I ended up paying 24k for an Outback with everything I wanted. If price is truly the issue then you can get the Forrester down to what your husband wants. Good luck!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The Subaru is great for dogs and hauling other things. Here are some tips that might help. 
