Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When I was a teenager and everyone else was taking drivers ed and all of that, it had been discovered I had a seizure disorder and was put on meds. Driving was not going to be an option for me. 5 years later, I moved to a major city and relied on public transportation. It was not convenient and not that safe but it got me where I needed to go. Flash forward 5 more years and I get married and discover I am pregnant a year later. At this point I had been seizure free for about 10 years but still on the meds for it, however I was already cutting back on it. I got the all clear to go off it. 5 more years later, I still am not driving because of raising my child and have been relying on spouse, family, etc, to get around but it is becoming an increasing problem. We moved further from the city because of cost, and public transportation is not as much here, not to mention I don't feel safe taking my child on it, especially around here. I need to drive to get my child around and can't rely on people all the time. Driving to me = freedom. I did take the written test and have my permit so that's a start but I need to learn to drive.
Problem is, I am really scared, for different reasons. I got behind the wheel in a parking lot once so far (with someone in passenger seat of course) and just figuring out and getting the feel for the pedals (how hard to push them, when to push them, etc,) proved to be challenging. I was also so scared and intimidated behind that wheel, even just in the parking lot. Controlling this 2 ton metal box on wheels, knowing it's all in your hands, is scary. Even since I was a kid, I had these dreams where I had to get behind the wheel and drive for one reason or another and I was horrible at it. My biggest fear is crashing, especially while my child's inside
We don't have the extra money right now to afford professional driver lessons. I need to figure out what to do. I keep telling myself that if teenagers can do it, the elderly can do it, and idiots with half a brain can do it, surely I can...right?
You can either save the money for the professional driving instructor, continue to drive in areas where it is safe to practice when no one else is around and you cannot hit something and injure yourself, your passenger or your vehicle or do not learn how to drive.
My advice is to not learn how to drive, yes I know it is inconvenient but until you get past being so afraid and intimidated by the vehicle you will not be able to drive in and around traffic safely.
1. It sounds like you may need some counseling for your fear.
2. Check with your DMV, you may be able to find resources for helping pay for the driving lessons. ( im not fully aware or sure on this). I was not required after 18 to take driving lessons but i did take 1 course to freshen up on going through the cones part and i believe it was around $100 in 2004.
Honestly, I might be more afraid of other drivers out there than my own ability. Just witnessing things that I have seen people having to deal with, with other drivers, is alone enough to terrify.
While I don't live in the main city, I still live in a city that is highly populated, so that makes a difference.
I don't know how more people AREN'T afraid to drive. Again, tons of metal. On wheels. High speeds.
I think that when people are teenagers learning to drive, they aren't looking at it from a logical perspective as an adult would. So then you drive and years go by and it is just a habit for you now. As an adult learning how to drive, I think you look at it from a different perspective. You analyze things more. Look at things in a "is this safe?" kind of way, especially if you're a parent. I am way more safe about everything than I was even 10 years ago, let alone as a teenager. I think we are more risk takers when we are young and therefore more willing to take a chance.
I am looking for specific, technical advice here. How-to kind of stuff. Also tips, tricks that everyone takes for granted but would be helpful for someone learning to drive.
Whether to drive isn't an option. It has to happen based on my situation.
Tips:
Always buckle up
Get a reliable car with some sort of roadside assistance. OR have a cellphone handy for just in case
Learn to park. Its basic but many people dont know how. 2 spots is not parking. Being too close to the line is not parking.
Read all signs and learn them. Yield means slow down, not speed up. Same with yellow light. Merge means same.
Some personal advice:
We lived out in the country. 20miles from a grocery store. We only had a 5 speed (aka stick shift). I didnt know how to drive it (this was 4yrs ago) but my husband refused to drive me around anymore so i had to learn. My husband taught me the basics- gears and when to shift, when to hit the clutch, etc and i took the car alone on the country road and by golly if i didnt spit and sputter. I stalled too many times to count. I learned though. I never would have learned if he had not have said " im not taking you anymore ".
PS- Youre a new parent, Your child will be ok. Especially if they are in the proper car seat.
Tips:
Always buckle up
Get a reliable car with some sort of roadside assistance. OR have a cellphone handy for just in case
Learn to park. Its basic but many people dont know how. 2 spots is not parking. Being too close to the line is not parking.
Read all signs and learn them. Yield means slow down, not speed up. Same with yellow light. Merge means same.
Some personal advice:
We lived out in the country. 20miles from a grocery store. We only had a 5 speed (aka stick shift). I didnt know how to drive it (this was 4yrs ago) but my husband refused to drive me around anymore so i had to learn. My husband taught me the basics- gears and when to shift, when to hit the clutch, etc and i took the car alone on the country road and by golly if i didnt spit and sputter. I stalled too many times to count. I learned though. I never would have learned if he had not have said " im not taking you anymore ".
PS- Youre a new parent, Your child will be ok. Especially if they are in the proper car seat.
Thanks, that does help.
One good thing is that I passed the permit test with 100% the first time so that's something at least.
I wish we had some country areas here, I think my fear wouldn't be so bad. People drive so crazy here and it's so over-populated.
Honestly, I might be more afraid of other drivers out there than my own ability. Just witnessing things that I have seen people having to deal with, with other drivers, is alone enough to terrify.
While I don't live in the main city, I still live in a city that is highly populated, so that makes a difference.
I don't know how more people AREN'T afraid to drive. Again, tons of metal. On wheels. High speeds.
I think that when people are teenagers learning to drive, they aren't looking at it from a logical perspective as an adult would. So then you drive and years go by and it is just a habit for you now. As an adult learning how to drive, I think you look at it from a different perspective. You analyze things more. Look at things in a "is this safe?" kind of way, especially if you're a parent. I am way more safe about everything than I was even 10 years ago, let alone as a teenager. I think we are more risk takers when we are young and therefore more willing to take a chance.
I am looking for specific, technical advice here. How-to kind of stuff. Also tips, tricks that everyone takes for granted but would be helpful for someone learning to drive.
Whether to drive isn't an option. It has to happen based on my situation.
All the technical advice in the world won't help if you can't relax. The technical part isn't really so hard.
What IS hard is relaxing enough not to do stupid things, learning to keep your eyes open and developing judgement. You'll never develop those if you've got all the fear stuff going on in your head. In the case of driving you've taken this to an extreme, possibly bordering on phobia. No, driving isn't perfectly safe. But the potential dangers don't make it a dangerous, life-threatening thing either. Ever see somebody in a car, driving slowly, with their eyes fixed forward and white-knuckle hands gripping the wheel? That's one of the most dangerous drivers on the road.
Listen to yourself: " tons of metal. On wheels. High speeds." Now look around at how many cars there ar and how many people go years without as much as a scratch. Injuries are actually pretty uncommon, fatalities even more so.
Therefore: Keep driving around in an empty lot to get the feel of the car, the pedals, the power. Hit the gas hard, brake hard. See how feels. Eventually you'll likely become comfortable enough to hit the streets in a quiet, low pressure area. And work your way up from there.
Try practicing in the very early morning on weekends before the roads become crowded. Do your learning in a 15 yr old clunker. Eventually you will overcome the fear. Please realize driving must be relatively ease as literally millions of people do it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
