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Old 01-21-2019, 11:00 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
4,257 posts, read 6,497,282 times
Reputation: 3886

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Oh, man. I'm losing it. I've had 2 road-rage incidents this week where I just HAD to flip the bird or yell something out and Guy #1 followed me, Guy #2 pulled around, got out of his car and got into my face. Maaaaaan. It's gonna get me in trouble some day.

Anyways, with Guy #1, he pulled an illegal U-turn and impeded the flow of traffic in my lane and the adjacent lanes. It was right in front of me so I flipped the bird on him and accelerated away from him. He pulled up to me and chased my butt for 5 miles before I did a dangerous, last-second exit to escape from him. He couldn't follow me and I just got on the access road and then back on the highway. Probably cost me 20 seconds of drive time. I hung back behind him after that.

Guy #2, this guy was an absolute genius. Wow. I went to the local grocer to get literally 4 things (that ended up being 5 things when I saw pistachios on sale) and driving out, I plod along the parking row until I get to the end when I have to brake hard: there was a car there! Why didn't I see that car? Because it's 10:30 PM at night and the genius is driving with LIGHTS OFF, just his aftermarket LEDs on the bumper are on. They don't illuminate at all! I thought it was really close, I braked hard, he didn't brake at all, just moved a little to the left. I high-beamed him, but he kept on driving with his lights off. He turned left, I had to go straight, I instinctively yelled at him to turn his lights on before someone hit him like I almost did. In the corner of my eye, I saw he had stopped and started turning in my direction. So I loop around and meet him. He gets OUT of the car instead of just lowering the window and gets all in my face. "What you say?!" "Sir, your lights are off and I nearly hit you! I told you to turn your lights on." "Awwww, that's what you said? Thought you had some negative energy going, huh? This is a parking spot, you don't have to turn your lights on." Said it when we're in the travel lane, not in a parking spot

(Can anyone clarify the law? I know you don't have to have lights on in a parking spot, but once you're out of the spot, lights are supposed to be on at night, correct?)

"Sir, I almost crashed into you and I just wanted you to turn your lights on. You saw what happened. Are you going to turn your lights on now?" "I'll think about it." "Okay, have a good night, Sir. Take care." *Window rolls up and I blast outta there while watching him in the side mirror* Still didn't turn his bloody lights on.

Sigh. I need to control these stupid emotional outbursts. I can't control what idiots do. I can, however, control my reactions to those idiots. And it looks like in these two instances, I didn't. Oh, well. Guess it's something to learn from. I really haven't had any road rage incidents in the 16 years I've driven, I have no clue what the heck is going on this week.

"Negative energy"? What was that about? Some hippie stuff? Just turn your lights on at night, man. What, are you just showing off your LEDs? Is that why you turn your regular lights on and make people nearly hit you? Whatever.
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Old 01-22-2019, 01:14 AM
 
8,034 posts, read 2,006,959 times
Reputation: 5628
Ive seen alot more road rage these past couple months than anytime in the past!


Both of them surprised me, how blatantly direct the road rage was too.


The first one, they had been doing bridge repairs on the heaviest traveled bridge in Cincinnati metro area and of course they had it cut down to 1 lane during rush hour, people were getting MAD, I saw a car with younger kids ahead, once they got to the area where the workers were on the bridge, one in the back and one came out the passenger window and starting screaming F-U and flipping the bird to the workers ( I could hear them 8 cars back!), wouldnt you know it then, another young kid in another car does the same thing! I guess they were sick of sitting in traffic.


Another rush hour, on a stretch of expressway right before my exit, they had 3 lanes shut down for construction for 5 miles, but NO work was being done, for the whole 5 miles, after sitting idle bumper to bumper for so long, a guy pulling a big luxury boat got out and moved the orange barrels to the side of the road and proceeded to drive on the closed portion, once he went thru, it was like the flood gates opened, tractor trailers and other cars were trying to get over to the opening he had created, Id say about 30-50 cars went thru, and by the time I reached my exit almost everyone was driving on the closed section, but in this case, it actually alleviated the traffic jam! and there was no construction going on, so it worked out ok.
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Old 01-22-2019, 04:48 AM
 
Location: SW Corner of CT
1,871 posts, read 1,390,655 times
Reputation: 2313
Had a guy I work with stop at the top of an exit ramp, a car pulled along side of him, guy jumps out and yells "Remember me !", and puts 4 bullets in his front fender, then drove off. He has no idea who this guy is, or what he is talking about, so watch what you do / say, it may not be today they get you, it could be tomorrow....it could of easily been bullets flying into his door. On a side note, the coworker is a wise ass, so I could see this happening.
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Old 01-22-2019, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Metro Washington DC
12,764 posts, read 19,363,744 times
Reputation: 7370
If he was parked properly he doesn’t need lights. If he was moving then he needs them on. Oh, you wanted to know the law? Not sure about in a private lot, but on the road he must. If there was accident, not having the lights on would push the fault meter his way. Can’t say more than that right now.
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Old 01-22-2019, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Central Texas
20,126 posts, read 37,003,759 times
Reputation: 21989
You don't HAVE to flip the bird or any such thing unless you choose to, or someone has a gun to your head and is holding your arm up and putting your fingers into the position. You CHOOSE to do so by giving in to your own anger and losing control. Which you seem to get, and want to control. Odd as it may seem, how you use words matters in these kinds of efforts, so don't say you HAD to, say you lost control and CHOSE to. That gives the power (and responsibility) back to you mentally.
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Old 01-22-2019, 09:44 AM
 
774 posts, read 2,170,569 times
Reputation: 838
What I used to break this behavior was asking myself if I thought I changed the other driver's behavior (never). And then asking what effect road rage had on me when I responded (drove me crazy for hours or days, like OP), vs. when I ignored it (forgot about it within and hour). Eventually it will sink in you are doing nothing but making yourself miserable. Then you just say to yourself, "ignore it, I won't change that jerk and this will drive me crazy if I respond."

Another cure is faster but costs money. Take a trip to a city with notoriously terrible drivers and drive there for a week. When you come home, your tolerance for bad driving will be much higher.


Yet another cure is to repeat good thoughts for everyone. Warning, this one is spriritual. But it works! I use Buddhist loving friendliness. "May all beings be happy and well. May all being have happy minds..." etc.
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Old 01-22-2019, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
25,540 posts, read 60,997,353 times
Reputation: 28447
Long ago, I realized road raging accomplishes nothing good for me. It does not teach them a lesson. It does not make me feel better. getting worked up stresses your body and shortens your life. Now I just nod smile and wave, agree with them if they yell at me, apologize for their stupid mistake as if it were my fault. Why not? What does it hurt? I do not have anything to prove to the idiot who is raging. let them think they are right. Let them think their rage is justified. Let them work themselves up to a heart attack if they want to. It is not worth getting stressed out and possibly shot or hit with a bat, or a fork* or rammed with a car.

On a couple occasions, I simply agreed with someone yelling at me. Yes, you are correct, I am a terrible driver. You are right I am a complete A-hole and have no business being on the road. Eventually in two instances, they realized they were being the A-hole and ended up apologizing. Usually not, but at least I do not get all stressed out about road incidents. After they leave, I laugh at them.

It has diffused every potential road rage incident I have been in since.


* One of the more interesting road rage incidents I heard of escalated to the point where one lady got out of her car and jabbed another lady with a plastic fork. She was charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

Last edited by Coldjensens; 01-22-2019 at 11:43 AM..
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Old 01-22-2019, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Central TX
2,298 posts, read 3,101,825 times
Reputation: 2669
Don't engage
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Old 01-22-2019, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Kirkland, WA (Metro Seattle)
3,722 posts, read 3,010,198 times
Reputation: 6545
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soviet View Post
Oh, man. I'm losing it. I've had 2 road-rage incidents this week where I just HAD to flip the bird or yell something out and Guy #1 followed me, Guy #2 pulled around, got out of his car and got into my face. Maaaaaan. It's gonna get me in trouble some day.

Anyways, with Guy #1, he (snip, doesn't matter to my reply)

Guy #2, this guy was an absolute genius. Wow. (snip OP getting way too involved with another driver)

Sigh. I need to control these stupid emotional outbursts. I can't control what idiots do. I can, however, control my reactions to those idiots. And it looks like in these two instances, I didn't. Oh, well. Guess it's something to learn from. I really haven't had any road rage incidents in the 16 years I've driven, I have no clue what the heck is going on this week.
Really hope those last two sentences are true. What's going on is "you," btw.

Look, I am man who usually takes very little ___ from anyone, either, and previously something of an explosive temper. Not "no fuse", but "somewhat short fuse." "No fuse" types end up in jail or pleading out felony assault, sooner or later, and I've known two such men. Both very dangerous, too. I've dialed it back a few notches, maybe due to age: I'm 51, not 41 or 31 and ready to kick ass.

Yes, I see what you call "idiots", too, and my ire gets raised at that malarkey. After I was once and only once required to deploy pepper spray in a related situation...never mind the details...I don't ever want to again. I involved the police, too. No charges were filed against anyone, least of all me, as there was ample evidence my physical safety was threatened. The cop suggested I not do it again, though. I did not point out to him that what I did ended the threat and potentially deescalated a violent situation; he probably knew that already but couldn't say it.

You do NOT want to go there! People get killed. The extremis under which someone can pull a gun in self defense in (some) states seems high, but they might get away with it while you catch a couple rounds (about 30% fatal, if I understand modern trauma stats correctly. It's the pain, debilitation, and general aftermath that are worse).

Just don't do it. You are not the Idiot Police!
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Old 01-22-2019, 02:21 PM
 
4,661 posts, read 2,412,880 times
Reputation: 3969
The last road rage incident I was involved in I regretted massively.

About 2 years ago in SoCal, a guy in a "riced out" Honda Accord left his car stopped in front of me at a "green light" for about 10 seconds before I gave him a little beep to get him going. He started accelerating so I thought everything was done, and we could go about our business.

Nope.

The guy pulls up next to me, it's a huge black guy, and a smaller black guy in the passenger seat. The driver (big black guy) makes a motion for me to roll the window down. I roll it down and say (pretty politely), "What's going on brotha?"

He says, "You want that smoke?" At the time I didn't know what that meant but later found out it meant "gun" as in "smoke from a gun battle".

I replied, "No, it's a filthy habit", thinking he was talking about cigarettes or joints. I smiled and drove on thinking the guy was making a peace offering.

About 2 miles closer to home, I noticed the same ****ty ghetto Accord was tailing me. Every time I'd turn, or change lanes, the two dudes were right there. This is when I began to get a little sketched. So to do a little test I pull into the Costco parking lot a couple of miles before my home (I didn't want to lead these retards directly to my house), and without hesitation I'm being followed by the same idiots. Now I'm getting a little pissed. I park in an area where there aren't many other cars (for a Costco), and they park a few cars down.

Massive black guy gets out first and starts walking high and mighty towards my truck, all 6'3, and 320 pounds of him I estimate. What massive black guy doesn't know is I have a fully loaded Glock 19 with one in the chamber that I had unholstered and in my driver side door storage (it was in a holster, but I didn't have it on my waist because it was a little uncomfortable while driving). I hold a CCW in California, and pretty much carry with me 99% of the time I am awake. I get out of the truck (my first mistake), and I look massive black guy dead in his eyes as I'm reaching down behind my driver side door to pick up my Glock 19 and possibly put an entire magazine into massive black guys chest from 15 yards out.

LUCKILY he notices this motion, and quite astutely surmises what I'm about to do, gives me the middle finger and starts walking back to his car. I didn't even get to grab my pistol when he is making a hasty retreat to his ****ty Honda, and burns rubber out of the parking lot probably calling me all sorts of nasty words on the way out.

I remember sitting there thinking of what could have happened and decided I had made two huge mistakes.

1) Instead of engaging the black guy at all, I should have left my window rolled up.
2) Instead of stopping in the parking lot, and possibly having to gun down a guy with bigger muscles than brains, I should have called the CHP, or Sheriffs to come down and handle this situation, or just drive directly to the Sheriffs station.
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