Moving to Pahoa - Local Prejudice? (building, location, address)

[ctr88]

I lived on Maui back in the early 90's and I think you are treated differently to some degree in the HI Islands if you are white. Yes if you are cool, easy going, laid back, live and let live (which I am) you can mitigate the issue, and you really won't have a lot (if any) problems at all. Loved HI in general, but have to be honest the racial undertones (even if muted) did bother me some, and at that time I wouldn't have considered living there full time 12 mos a year for that reason (but would vacation there). But I agree, I'm sure minorities feel the same in white areas of the mainland, which totally sucks and I wish wasn't the case.

[theartfulhouse]

I don't know if this will be seen but hopefully someone out there can help. My husband and I have been planning to move to the Big Island for about 5 years and Pahoa is an area we're very interested in. We have visited several times, each time feeling the pull to move there more each time, and will be going back in Spring '14 to do some more exploring. We have made some friends there that have encouraged our move but I can't overcome the fear that we will not be accepted. Our kids are both Korean adoptees and we are both white and live in a very white midwestern area. I've been in love with the area since I was a child and it seems to be somewhere where they could be more exposed to people of other cultures and have a slower paced, ocean-centric life that was more about spending time as a family and less time trying to keep up with everyone else. We've done research, read books and are very aware of the challenges we will face and thought it was worth it to give it a go but now I just don't know what to do. Any advice is really appreciated!

[Dreaming of Hawaii]

Why are you worried about being accepted? You say you've been to the area several times so you must have noticed how culturally diverse it is. There are so many people in Hawaii with so many different backgrounds, that I can't imagine anyone worrying about acceptance.

Most people who think there is a concern are because they are white or because they have heard stories about how the "natives" treat people from the mainland. Having kids from Korea should be no problem at all.

[OpenD]

Originally Posted by theartfulhouse

We have made some friends there that have encouraged our move but I can't overcome the fear that we will not be accepted. Our kids are both Korean adoptees and we are both white and live in a very white midwestern area. I've been in love with the area since I was a child and it seems to be somewhere where they could be more exposed to people of other cultures and have a slower paced, ocean-centric life that was more about spending time as a family and less time trying to keep up with everyone else. We've done research, read books and are very aware of the challenges we will face and thought it was worth it to give it a go but now I just don't know what to do. Any advice is really appreciated!

Sorry to say, based on what you've said above, I wouldn't advise the move.

Some people move to the Pahoa area and love it, while others move to Pahoa and hate it. Actually, you can substitute any other place name for Pahoa and the statement remains true. What's the main difference between the two groups, as far as I can tell? Their attitudes. Lead with aloha and you'll get aloha back, I've always found. But lead with fear and you can be in for a rough ride.

Hawai'i is the most racially diverse state in the US, and the fastest growing racial group in Hawai'i, according to the US Census, is "Mixed." As a group Asians are the largest population on the Big Island, and whites are a minority. But I'm as white as mayonnaise on Wonder bread, and I've never had a problem. I presume that this is what you're talking about, since your kids will fit right in. But unless you are comfortable about the move you should stay where you are, because your fear will color everything.

[theartfulhouse]

Originally Posted by OpenD

Sorry to say, based on what you've said above, I wouldn't advise the move.

Some people move to the Pahoa area and love it, while others move to Pahoa and hate it. Actually, you can substitute any other place name for Pahoa and the statement remains true. What's the main difference between the two groups, as far as I can tell? Their attitudes. Lead with aloha and you'll get aloha back, I've always found. But lead with fear and you can be in for a rough ride.

Hawai'i is the most racially diverse state in the US, and the fastest growing racial group in Hawai'i, according to the US Census, is "Mixed." As a group Asians are the largest population on the Big Island, and whites are a minority. But I'm as white as mayonnaise on Wonder bread, and I've never had a problem. I presume that this is what you're talking about, since your kids will fit right in. But unless you are comfortable about the move you should stay where you are, because your fear will color everything.

Thanks for responding. I should clarify that the reason we've become apprehensive is from reading many of the threads on these forums. We are very peaceful people and wanted to move because of the Aloha we felt when we were there so we wanted to reach out and see if what we found in reading was really the case. I know the internet can be misleading but we try to get as much info as we can as this would be an enormous life change so I can't really apologize for having a little fear of the unknown. Thanks again!

[Dreaming of Hawaii]

If I were you I'd listen to the friends you've made in Pahoa, rather than a bunch of strangers on a faceless website. You've spent time there, and it seems to me that actually being in a place is a much better way to assess whether or not you'd fit in. There are some posters on this forum who have never even been to Hawaii, so you shouldn't believe everything you read here.

[OpenD]

Originally Posted by theartfulhouse

Thanks for responding. I should clarify that the reason we've become apprehensive is from reading many of the threads on these forums. We are very peaceful people and wanted to move because of the Aloha we felt when we were there so we wanted to reach out and see if what we found in reading was really the case. I know the internet can be misleading but we try to get as much info as we can as this would be an enormous life change so I can't really apologize for having a little fear of the unknown. Thanks again!

OK, well thanks for the clarification, and let me say this as a follow up, then.

I think it was about 30 years ago that AOL started offering the internet to ordinary citizens, and I had already been participating in dial-up computer forums and chatboards for several years beforehand. And things really haven't changed much in any basic sense since then. There were/are bullies and trolls from the beginning and there were/are idiots. There were/are kind and generous people, there were/are naysayers. All kinds of people, just like real life.

But unlike real life, the anonymity of the internet emboldens ordinary people to say things they would never say to another person face-to-face. So rudeness and negativity run wild at times, and can completely distort the truth. You have to be very discerning to parse out what is real from what is not as detailed in online opinions.

You can trust your friends far, far more than you can trust an electronic phantom whose personal agenda is unknown to you. And you can generally trust your own in-person experiences over those of someone else you've never met and never will, who may not even be who they say they are, or where.

There's no way you can eliminate all risk from a big move like that. At some point you just have to make the best decision you can, based on all you know, and then move forward in your chosen direction.

Best of luck.

[Tiger Beer]

Originally Posted by theartfulhouse

Thanks for responding. I should clarify that the reason we've become apprehensive is from reading many of the threads on these forums. We are very peaceful people and wanted to move because of the Aloha we felt when we were there so we wanted to reach out and see if what we found in reading was really the case. I know the internet can be misleading but we try to get as much info as we can as this would be an enormous life change so I can't really apologize for having a little fear of the unknown. Thanks again!

You should assume that most people are NOT you. It's like asking your co-workers, but knowing nothing of their background. If you go to work everyday, you probably know that 'Joe' doesn't like Mexicans, and 'Frank' hates this and that, and of course Milliard is going to have a problem/issue with this or that. If you know all these people everyday, you'll be thinking, 'Oh yeah, of course Milliard wouldn't like that restaurant I enjoyed last night', and 'Joe wouldn't like my friend Manuel', and Frank would hate that tv show I really liked last night.

Yet, for some reason, online, people throw all that stuff out the window, and figure that Joe, Frank, and Milliard are all expert opinions that must be followed, because they wrote in the internet.

[MickeyE]

Originally Posted by Tiger Beer

You should assume that most people are NOT you. It's like asking your co-workers, but knowing nothing of their background. If you go to work everyday, you probably know that 'Joe' doesn't like Mexicans, and 'Frank' hates this and that, and of course Milliard is going to have a problem/issue with this or that. If you know all these people everyday, you'll be thinking, 'Oh yeah, of course Milliard wouldn't like that restaurant I enjoyed last night', and 'Joe wouldn't like my friend Manuel', and Frank would hate that tv show I really liked last night.

Yet, for some reason, online, people throw all that stuff out the window, and figure that Joe, Frank, and Milliard are all expert opinions that must be followed, because they wrote in the internet.

Remember, if it's on the internet it has to be true,

French Model Commercial (CC) Full-length - YouTube

Mickey

[CyberCity]

Originally Posted by OpenD

You can trust your friends far, far more than you can trust an electronic phantom whose personal agenda is unknown to you. And you can generally trust your own in-person experiences over those of someone else you've never met and never will, who may not even be who they say they are, or where.

Yep, sometimes getting anonymous online advice can be as good as asking this guy:



One way to help sort through this site is to notice who is giving the advice, then do a search of their past postings. [Click on their name at the top left of their post, then choose "find all posts by" in the drop down menu.] You can then evaluate their overall attitude, and give weight to if they tend to be, say ... kill-joys... or unrealistic dreamers... or not have first hand experience of the issue or place ...or whatever it is you want to use for evaluation of their reliability.