bi-racial family looking to relocate (Birmingham, Huntsville: fit in, middle school, gated)

[Ponderosa]

Originally Posted by jonw

Take this into consideration before moving to Alabama: The ban on interracial marriage was overturned only a few years ago and by only a very small margin. Considering that most minorities voted to get rid of the ban and therefore it passed (barely), you should have an inkling as to what white people think about miscegenation here in Alabama.

Alabama's miscegenation laws were repealed along with those in much of the country in Loving v. Virginia. So the vote to repeal it from the constitution was symbolic. Very symbolic. It only passed by 59-41 % some 30 years after it was declared unconstitutional.

I am white and married to a black woman. What interracial couple would want to live in a place where, at the dawn of the 21st century, fully 4 out of 10 people on the street think it is OK for the government to say who can and can not marry based soley on the color of their skin?

[Ponderosa]

Originally Posted by jonw

Take this into consideration before moving to Alabama: The ban on interracial marriage was overturned only a few years ago and by only a very small margin. Considering that most minorities voted to get rid of the ban and therefore it passed (barely), you should have an inkling as to what white people think about miscegenation here in Alabama.

You may have facts that I am unaware of, but I would not assume that "most minorities voted to get rid of the ban". It has been my experience that southern black culture is not necessarily approving of interracial unions either.

[kg44]

I live in Montgomery and, unfortunately, you'd get a lot of stares here. As someone else said, the younger generation is much more accepting. I lived in Shorter for a while and worked in Tuskegee. Tuskegee is predominantly black, and interractial relationships are much more accepted there.

[proud to be American]

Originally Posted by jeweloflight

Pitboss, I'd be careful there, interracial marriage has nothing to do with being proud or not being proud of your heritage. I shutter at the thought of someone considering interracial marriage shameful. With this country having a skyrocketing 50-60% divorce rate, I think race is the least of our concerns. Finding someone of the same race is fairly easy, finding someone to love you forever is much, much, harder. So let's keep our priorities in order, shall we?

Is it not a free country? I belive people come here for the honesty.So let it be it was't as if he/she said something like "why would you degrade yourself and marry a Black" Now maybe you would have a reason to intervine.That or nothing degrading was said so let the forums be what they are intended to be fun and informative.

[proud to be American]

[quote=Suliniber;206524]

Originally Posted by PITBOSS

Yeah, had a bee keeper friend, who was working on the African bee scare. Just had to throw that out there, hope you had a laugh. As far as what the racists are afraid of, Many white women are marrying black men. If the tables were turned, would it bother you as a black man?[QUOTE

Thank you PITBOSS!
No it wouldn't bother me. "That's my only explanation". In fact I wonder why not many black women marry white men. My possible explanation is that usually men make the first move in a relationship, I wonder why. So it seems white men don't want to make the move towards black women. I have also noticed that white men tend to marry black women more easily when they are outside of the United States, so probably it is related to the racial history in this country where it was illegal to marry whoever you fell in love with. It may also be that women have different sets of values as men, so they may see other things in black men, not just color, that white men may not see in black women. "I apologize if any of this has offended anyone, I like a good discussion on things people are afraid to talk about". Oh no don't apologize. In the South we are honest, not like Californians who try to hide their feeling to make one feel good. To tell you the truth, I haven't noticed anything racist in this. It is because I come from a different culture and history and so anybody rasist towards me has a problem, not me, except when I get physically hurt in the process, and I haven't.

I should say I am not qualified to discuss this "problem". Ask me about what Blackwidow wants in a male? It is the fertilization of her eggs. That is not what my wife wanted from me because she hasn't killed me yet and we have been married for 45 years. Would young white men hate us. We call other cultures Third World, but in a lot of cases we, the USA are backward looking.

Forty five years of Marriage? wow! when you right the book on how you accomplished this i will buy it!Congratulations!

[winter]

I am sorry to say that when it comes to marriage and having children people should stay within their own race and if at all possible their own culture. It makes life so much better for the children. If you don't plan on children then it's your life so do what you think is right for you. This is the real world and life can be hard enough without putting more pressure on children. It just seems that everyone wants to be white. Why?

[CoCoGirl]

Originally Posted by winter

I am sorry to say that when it comes to marriage and having children people should stay within their own race and if at all possible their own culture. It makes life so much better for the children. If you don't plan on children then it's your life so do what you think is right for you. This is the real world and life can be hard enough without putting more pressure on children. It just seems that everyone wants to be white. Why?

If you are not mixed, how can you even say life will be harder. EVERYONE has hardships, might not be the same type, but they are still hardships. No one can get away from hardships.

[harry chickpea]

Winter, you bring up an odd point. Mixed race offspring HAVE historically had a hard time in our culture. The mixed-blood offspring of the French and English fur traders and women of the native tribes had a horrible time being recognized as having rights. I forget the name of the group right now (Metas? ) but their struggle is well documented. However, the Italians, the Jews, the Poles, and the Irish also had a hard time and they were full-blooded, but living in the United States.

Race issues are less of an issue in some areas, and more in others. A Kurd in Bagdad might be dead meat, but one in New York might not get a second glance. Mixed race is the norm in the Caribbean, and other than the self-isolation of some Quebecers, I never noticed race being a big issue in Canada. In Florida, race is an issue between the Haitians and other members of the Black community.

Hard-core Republicans and Democrats fight it out just as much as most racists. Some people just have a need to hate, and promote that hate in their social contacts. That hate tends to be expressed against easily recognizable groups that engage in stereotypical behavior, especially if it appears that there is any power held by those people. Once a group begins to assimilate and gets seen as less threatening, a lot of the racism lessens.
Mixing blood is part of that asssimilation.

Bringing it back on topic, the south went through enough trial and tribulation that the general population eventually realized the overt racists were a liability, and curbed the excesses of those troublemakers. Are they still there? Sure. They just are not able to rally people around themselves as easily, and their public "teachings" are thankfully no longer commonplace.

[SergeantL]

Originally Posted by kissme

I live in southern Alabama. I didn't realize people still had such concerns about Alabama. There are narrow minded people all over the world and I'm sorry that you have to be concerned about these types of things. I'm sure there are plenty of interracial families in B'ham.

I am relieved to read posts such as yours. The images of the civil rights movement are firmly burned into my psyche. I live in California, but my grandmother lived in Georgiana Alabama, and I visited her every summer during the 50s and 60s. What I witnessed and experienced caused me to believe the white people of Alabama were insane, and understand I am also white. It is wonderful to know that so much suffering by so many was not in vain.

[nalabama]

Is Bham the only place you are considering? Unless you just have to be there because of work or family, you might want to consider Huntsville. I believe you'll find people there somewhat more accepting of bi-racial families. Unemployment is very low as well if that's a concern.

As a side note: I have voted no to every proposed amendment to the Alabama constitution in the last six elections. Didn't matter if it concerned the Beekeepers Association in Elmore Couty or the outlawed language regarding inter-racial marriages, I voted NO. Why? Because I believe that we have a state constitution that empowers only the "Big Mules" in Alabama and that this unfair (perhaps racist) constitution will never get changed if we continue to play along by voting yes to every amendment they propose. The newspaper editors chide us for being either anarchists or tilting at windmills, but their efforts don't seem to have accomplished any real constitutional reform either. In any event, don't believe that 40 percent of the voting citizens of Alabama wanted to keep the racist language regarding marriage--many of us were either formenting anarchy or taking Don Quixote real serious.

Good luck.