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Old

You are hurting?

Posted 06-07-2022 at 03:14 AM by trickydawn

Louie, you seriously and completely make my head spin!! I have never in my life known another so completely oblivious to how they treat people, and so self absorbed.. I have never been through the kind of hell, or even close, like I have in the last few years since we started seeing each other. It's been full of humiliation, drama, lies, fear, heartbreak after heartbreak, insecurity, and what makes it confusing and hard to just give up, is the moments that were amazing and full of love. Well,...
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Old

just more thoughts

Posted 06-07-2022 at 01:16 AM by trickydawn

Like a song that just keeps playing in my head over and over for days, the only way to make it stop is for me to listen to the song, sing along of course, and it stops. My thoughts just won't quit, and it will be the same subject that won't resolve or at least take a back burner to anything else, until I say it. That is why my exes get novel texts after novel texts that I know they don't read. They have even said as much, and I know this. I don't do it for them to read. These novels are full...
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Old

day to start giving to myself

Posted 06-02-2022 at 11:01 PM by trickydawn

I am exhausted! But it is a good exhaustion. I am sore too, and I earned the sore muscles, but pain is still pain! Today was my second day on my new job, but rthe first day was just watching videos and showing me around. Today was a full shift out in the field with my boss. I can barely pick up the scooters, much less figure out the apps and which one to use! I am so impatient with myself when I am learning a new job. I feel like I should just be able to pick it up, like the moment it is...
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Old

almost ok for a minute

Posted 06-02-2022 at 12:32 AM by trickydawn

Today was my first day at Veo, and it was good for my heart and soul to be out of the apt and out of my head for part of the day. When I got off work, I was able to just make it in time for Ally's sonogram appt, but I almost wish I had missed it. I only say this because of her and Jacobey are still having arough time. He called me yesterday so upset because he had said something to Ally about being at the hospital next Thursday at 5am with her to check in for the ceserean section. I don't know...
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Old

excuses

Posted 05-19-2022 at 07:41 AM by trickydawn

Funny how many different excuses, reasons if you will, for the same thing at different times you will tell me. Sometimes you will deny that you had already told me a different reason, other times, you will say you didn't want to tell me the real reason, or sometimes you will say it is both. I remember when you told me I pushed you to it, when referring to you cheating on me. Of course you also said originally it was three times that you and her had sex, than it was two, than one and finally you...
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