Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Massachusetts > Boston
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-11-2012, 03:04 AM
 
546 posts, read 1,368,738 times
Reputation: 475

Advertisements

I agree with the making of friends outside the work place as it is safer. It takes a long time to get to know someone and truly trust. I am friendly with those that I work with, supervise and deal with, but my real friends are from childhood, neighborhood and those outside work.

I hope Boston is good to you as I do love my city and was brought up to be neighborly and extend a hand as needed. I also remember as a child in grade school, to be polite to visitors and give directions if you can as Boston was a tourist city. Not sure if that is taught any more.

In an Italian American tradition, I remember my mom making sauce and meatballs (YUM) and giving them to the new neighbors as a welcoming gift. Many years later, those neighbors still remember that.

An inner smile will gravitate to an outer smile
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-11-2012, 07:58 AM
 
1,683 posts, read 2,880,615 times
Reputation: 2151
As someone who lives in the area and has family roots here it is interesting hearing the situations new comers find themselves in.

I understand how Bostonians can be but as my wife and I always say, between family and our existing friends, we don't have time to meet new people. We are letting some friendships go because we have identified it more important to use weekends to tend to our house and visit family than see people who may or may not have any lasting impact on our lives.

I can see this being the underlying issue with the Massachusetts native co-workers. I am sure if they were transplants themselves, with no family ties to the area, they would be more willing to hang out. But if you are from the area, had long standing relationships with friends, cousins, aunts/uncles, siblings, parents, etc. there just is not enough time.

Heck, looking back on my wedding that was not too long ago, I wish we did not waste so much money inviting friends we hardly see anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-11-2012, 09:25 AM
 
Location: a bar
2,710 posts, read 6,075,106 times
Reputation: 2945
Would people say family ties are stronger here in the northeast?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-11-2012, 10:10 AM
 
2,664 posts, read 5,615,384 times
Reputation: 852
^comparing to other regions id say hell yeaa, seems like people here keep family traditions and values more than average america thus the accents thus the distinct food
and i like that boston people are not openly friendly, im like that too, i dont like random lames smiling in my face, i gotta visit soon, maybe ill fit rite in
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-11-2012, 11:03 AM
 
1,683 posts, read 2,880,615 times
Reputation: 2151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliff Clavin View Post
Would people say family ties are stronger here in the northeast?
I would say yes for the simple fact that many people here do not have to relocate for employment.

I mean, yea someone might come from Western, MA and move to the south shore but generally people are within driving distance to see family on weekends.

I have family who relocated to Florida and they remarked how you don't see people having family gatherings/parties to the extent they saw in the New England, for the simple reason that everyone is a transplant. I got to meet a decent amount of my cousins friends from her graduating class and NONE of them were born in Florida.

Compare that to the "cycle" I have posted about before where a person from greater boston grows up in the burbs, attends school in Boston, gets a job in the area, lives in the city until their mid 20s, then moves back to the burbs, be it their home town or a new town that is commutable to their job.

No ones situation is alike, but from living my whole life in this area and going to school in Boston, its a cycle that fits >50% of the people I studied/worked with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-11-2012, 12:10 PM
 
2,664 posts, read 5,615,384 times
Reputation: 852
^even comparing to other places where people are natives and not transplants, NE still has stronger ties
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2012, 08:19 AM
 
118 posts, read 297,902 times
Reputation: 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morris Wanchuk View Post
I have family who relocated to Florida and they remarked how you don't see people having family gatherings/parties to the extent they saw in the New England, for the simple reason that everyone is a transplant. I got to meet a decent amount of my cousins friends from her graduating class and NONE of them were born in Florida.
Florida is mostly transplants from the Northeast that might be why. We go out there and call their state Flahridah. In Massachusetts most of the population has attended college, in Florida it is the opposite.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts for the time being
313 posts, read 724,962 times
Reputation: 364
Quote:
Originally Posted by uncalifornian girl View Post
California is not any friendlier, in my experience (California native). I was impressed by how friendly total strangers were in Boston, on a short trip there. I certainly don't get that special treatment from strangers in L.A.! But of course I have yet to see what it is like to live in Boston full time.

As for the whole workplace thing....really who becomes good friends with their coworkers, anywhere? Would you even want to? I wouldn't. I mean...there is the "politically correct face" we put up as a front at work, and then there is who we really are (swearing like sailors, getting drunk, having sex lives, etc.) and god forbid our coworkers (past or present) ever get wind of all that goes on in our private lives. Isn't that true anywhere? I look for friends outside of work. It's safer.
Visiting here, I had the same impression. Moving here - quite a different experience. I have lived in several places in CA, north to South, and always made friends, many of which I am still in touch with now. If I left here tomorrow, there is not one person that I would stay in touch with, not that any of them have given me any way to do that, and I have been here for 2 years in March. That's just pretty sad.

I have always made friends at work. Most people that I know do. But I have never been a cut-throat "I want yer job... heh heh" type, and my life outside of work is nothing that I would be embarrassed about at work, not that I work in a staid, uptight suit-and-tie kind of place. It's jeans and shirts and very casual there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 10:50 AM
 
Location: somewhere
181 posts, read 504,039 times
Reputation: 190
Quote:
Originally Posted by westwind15 View Post
Visiting here, I had the same impression. Moving here - quite a different experience. I have lived in several places in CA, north to South, and always made friends, many of which I am still in touch with now. If I left here tomorrow, there is not one person that I would stay in touch with, not that any of them have given me any way to do that, and I have been here for 2 years in March. That's just pretty sad.
Well yes, that is sad. I hope I don't have that experience. It seems like the kind of town where you have to make more of an effort to meet people, join groups, etc. which I think will help. I actually could say the same thing about California, though. I haven't met anyone in the 3 years I've been back here, there is no one I will really miss, and the few friends I have are from childhood, not new adult friends. Even they aren't really in my life, we just stay in touch by email/phone anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by westwind15 View Post
I have always made friends at work. Most people that I know do. But I have never been a cut-throat "I want yer job... heh heh" type, and my life outside of work is nothing that I would be embarrassed about at work, not that I work in a staid, uptight suit-and-tie kind of place. It's jeans and shirts and very casual there.
I work in casual environments too, I think most offices are that way now, and I'm in a creative field. But I still feel I have to be careful. (Maybe I have more to hide) I've had some bad experiences with work relationships becoming too personal. I don't know if you're male or female but you have to be extra guarded as a female, there is a lot of judgement, especially if you are childless and unmarried, at an older age. The workplace I am going into in Boston is extremely family oriented, everyone there seems to be a parent. I can already tell I will have nothing in common with them socially. They all thought I was crazy for moving to the city instead of the burbs, so that says it all right there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 01:42 PM
 
Location: a bar
2,710 posts, read 6,075,106 times
Reputation: 2945
There is a huge difference in work environments when comparing California to Boston or NYC. The company I work for has a few offices in CA, and I've spent some time out there. They have BBQs at lunch. Volleyball tournaments. Ice cream socials. Casino day. They go to A's and Sac King's games. In the 17 years I've worked professional office type jobs in Boston, I've never seen any of these. Granted these are smaller satellite offices, but this is the same company, same department. Whenever we have to travel out there, we refer to it as "going on vacation".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Settings
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2020 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Massachusetts > Boston

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top