Dating in Boston? (Cambridge, Lynn, Newton: real estate, credit card, loan)
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How is the singles scene for guys in Boston? I live in North Dakota so my knowlege is limited when it comes to this. Do you need a car to get around Boston?
I'm a 32 year old single male student that will be going to Boston to get another degree. I was wondering if UMass Boston was a good school for someone trying to get a degree in Fine Art/Graphic Design?
I should have retitled my original question but there is no option to do that.
There are a lot of threads that deal with similar questions. I don't know much about ND, but there are a lot singless women in Boston, very attractive women. They are notorious for being "cold". But the young singles scene is vibrant. There are lots of options. I wouldnt worry.
No, you dont need a car in Boston. Its nice of course, but you can certainly do fine without one.
School of the Museum of Fine Arts (next to Museum of Fine Arts...not sure if related)
BU has a College of Fine Arts
Boston Architectural College
...
Lots of under 25/under 30 singles in and around downtown. Not sure if over 30 is out and about as much for dating in this youthful city. Sure, lots of 'em at restaurants, but the bar crowd (for pickups) seems oriented to the way-under-30 crowd. But I'm much older, so I may be wrong.
Definitely lot of opportunities at bars in Downtown Boston and Cambridge since there's a heavy college crowd. I'd recommend bar hopping among Solas, Pour House, Lir, Dillion's and Cactus Club in the Copley area.
You are going to get rejected, and probably a lot, just like other big cities. If you just wanna target people who are open to meeting new people, you got couple options:
http://Meetup.com: They have a lot of local group activities and singles-related events in Boston, so just joining a few nights will let you meet a good amount of women who are much less closed off.
http://Sociabo.com: This site has a mobile app where it lets you invite a group of girls nearby to grab drinks while you're out with your friends. It's a lot better than online dating sites that have a lot of fake profiles and scammers. They're still in private testing now but I'm sure you can get access rightaway.
For someone who is 32 it is really hit or miss in Boston for dating. Sure there are lots of college students, the majority are undergrads who will probably be and act too young for you. Those will be different bars that get old real fast. I've heard online dating is really big in Boston, but I've never done it. I'm not single anymore (31 years old now) but was for most of my early to mid 20's and personally I had a lot more success meeting women in other cities. Boston was difficult, the girls really have their guard up and are defensive from the start. Sometimes I would just ask if a seat was taken or if she could pass my a coaster, and some girls would act like you were hitting on them. Since your an outsider you might actually like the subtle differences. For my friends and I, the experiences we had wasn't what you would think given the amounts of young women.
On a side note, many girls don't know how to dress in Boston. They will take 2 articles of clothing that apart look fine, but will put them in the same outfit thinking it will look better...and it doesn't. So I felt the girls around Boston most of the time looked "frumpy".
If you do go to Boston just have a good time and don't have any expectations. If you meet someone great, if not, your not the only one.
Boston was difficult, the girls really have their guard up and are defensive from the start. Sometimes I would just ask if a seat was taken or if she could pass my a coaster, and some girls would act like you were hitting on them.
This isn't necessarily untrue. However, it sort of goes along with the New England persona in general (guarded, but direct and to the point). I wouldn't disagree that in general (this is, of course, a sweeping generalization and individual experiences vary), women in Boston are somewhat less approachable than in other cities.
I don't mind. In fact, I enjoy it. My experiences (I'm 25 and, as of a few months ago, single again) with dating/approaching women in other cities (namely, Dallas, San Francisco, Washington DC, and a few other mid-size cities) wasn't any better than Boston. The difference was that it was easier to just strike up a conversation with someone in some of those other cities. But more often than not, the conversation lead to nothing. Sometimes I spent 1/2 hour or more talking to someone having a genuinely good conversation just to find out that she was in a relationship, or maybe just not interested.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times when just striking up a casual, platonic conversation with a woman at a bar is pleasant and enjoyable. I had fun regardless of the turnout. But when I'm seriously interested in a possible romantic connection, I don't really love talking to someone who isn't interested for an hour. This probably makes me shallow to a degree in some peoples' eyes, but it's true.
I enjoy that in Boston, 9 out of 10 times if a woman isn't interested, she won't give me the time of day. Sure, it means you have to have thick skin and the ability to quickly recover. But it also means you're not going to spend an hour or so in a conversation trying to decipher whether she's genuinely interested in you or just likes the conversation and nothing else. Frankly, I welcome the directness of women's approach to dating in Boston. There's no beating around the bush (no terrible pun intended). I consider it a favor. In fact, if a woman is interested in you, it's just as likely that she'll come up to you and start talking (it happens plenty).
My female friends (most are not native to this area) love going out in Boston vs. other cities because quickly shutting down a guy in many other cities is often met with outrage and many times name calling (Each one of them has been called a b**ch more than once for not indulging someone in conversation at bars elsewhere). In Boston, it's the norm to be quick about it. And frankly, I don't blame women. Why should someone have to sit and politely smile and not while a guy struggles through forced small talk when they know they're not interested from the start (multiple times in a night)? There's no shortage of successful, attractive young people in Boston. It's competitive.
Finally, I think approaching women in bars in Boston has helped me in other cities. For one, rejection is easy to brush off (I've seen people crumble because someone at a bar won't talk to them). And two, it makes it easier to get what I want (i.e. to tell whether or not she's interested ) out of a conversation early on. If I'm looking for a romantic connection and she isn't, then I'm probably wasting both of our time by babbling on.
Casual conversation is a lot of fun. I do enjoy it most of the time. In fact, as a recently single professional in my mid 20s, it's about all I'm looking for at a bar right now. I'll admit, it's not as easy to do as in other cities, but it's not impossible either (generally, it's easiest when you talk to a woman like a normal human being... not by trying to force small talk out of thin air). When I do start looking for a girlfriend (or something less committed), I know I'll appreciate the Boston directness. It'll make things a lot easier.
Just fill out this short application and if you meet the requirements you should get all the girls you want in no time.
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Boston Boyfriend Application
Basic Info:
Full Name:
Any previous names:
Age:
Current Address:
Rent/own:
All previous addresses (for background check): (if more than 3, please explain transience below.)
List all previous female cohabitants including relationship and contact information (use a separate sheet if necessary):
College Attended: (Do not include community colleges or state schools).
Major/Minor: (for financial evaluation) (Philosophy and English majors stop here.)
GPA: (>3.0 stop here)
Financial:
Current Annual Income: (if less than 60K, stop here.)
Real estate holdings:
Portfolio:
Stocks, Bonds, Mutual funds:
Projected growth:
Parents’ annual income / net worth:
Family business, holding etc:
Info for credit check:
Primary Bank and account #:
Major credit cards and numbers:
Fico score:
Outstanding loan balances:
Have you ever defaulted or filed for bankruptcy? (If yes stop here)
Medical information:
Name and address of Primary Care Physician:
General physical health assessment:
Height:
Weight:
Body Mass Index:
Eye/Hair/Skin Color:
Debilitating Diseases: (communicable or hereditary stop here)
Family health History: any history of:
1.Heart disease
2.Cancer
3.Diabetes
4.Other
History of accidents (broken bones, auto, any incapacitations longer than 30 days)
Date of last Venereal Disease Screening: (attach copies of all paperwork)
Sleep walking, Sleep apnea, or snoring:
Nutritional information:
Daily caloric intake:
Percentage of 5 basic food groups consumed daily:
Cholesterol test:
Weekly red meat consumption:
Weekly consumption of fast foods:
Any problems with indigestion or flatulence:
Exercise:
Hours per week performing physical exercise: (if less than 5, stop here)
Type of exercise:
Name of gym, aerobics, or yoga classes attended (include instructors’ name/#):
Dental:
Dentist:
Date of last visit to dentist:
Number of missing teeth:
Number of cavities:
Periodontal disease, gingivitis, plaque, or halitosis:
Background Check:
Have you ever committed a felony? If so what type?
1.Sexual Assault (if yes, stop here)
2.Murder
3.Aggravated assault
4.Drug, alcohol offenses
If a felon, was this felony perpetrated against a female?
Was this felony perpetrated on behalf of a female? If so, explain.
Misdemenors, traffic violations, graffiti, littering, urinating, other offenses:
Please attach police report from all previous residences.
Career:
Name of current employer:
Current job title:
Are you a CEO/VP/Executive?:
Is this a Fortune 500 Company?:
Years at present company:
List all previous employers / job positions and reasons for leaving. Do not include labor, food service, etc:
Residence:
Where do you reside?
1.Back Bay / Beacon Hill
2.West End / North End
3.Longwood/Brookline
4.Newton/Weston/Wellesley
5.Cambridge/Marblehead/Swampscott
6.Other (Explain)
7.Chelsea/Revere/Lynn (stop here)
Own or rent:
Square footage:
Waterfront/View/Concierge:
Parking/ Closet Space:
Type of Auto(s):
Mercedes/BMW/Other Euro (Specify)
Lexus/Infiniti/
Other Japanese (Specify)
Cadillac/Corvette/Etc
Other American (Explain)
Kia/Subcompact (stop here)
Year and model of this car:
Second car year make and model:
Yacht, sailboat, Private aircraft:
Prior Relationships:
Number of prior romantic relationships:
Number of prior romantic sexual relationships:
Number of non-romantic sexual relationships:
Number of one night stands:
Using a separate sheet, list the names and contact information of all previously described relationships. Include date the relationship began, date concluded, and a complete description of the relationship including specific reason for termination. Please include phone numbers and contact information.
Lifestyle:
Shopping:
1.Saks/Neiman/Copley
2.Lord and Taylor/Macy’s/Filene’s
3.Sears/Pennys/Target (Explain)
4.Marshalls/Walmart/Kmart (stop here)
Travel:
1.Paris/London/Rome
2.NY/Miami/Aruba
3.Cape/Vineyard/Newport
4.Other: (Specify/Explain)
Leisure Activities:
1.Theatre and Arts.
2.Fine Dining
3.Social Events (specify types and frequency – keggers stop here)
4.Sporting events (What type and how often? Wrestling stop here)
5.Reading (list favorite authors/poets – do not include periodicals)
Nightlife:
1.BSO
2.Sculler’s
3.Aria/Avalon/Gypsie/Roxy
4.Centerfolds/Hooter (stop here)
Television:
Amount of hours per week spent viewing:
Amount of hours spent viewing sports:
Amount of hours spent viewing reality television:
Amount of hours spent playing video games: (greater than 15, stop here)
Favorite shows: (do not include sports, reality or police shows)
Movies:
25 favorite romantic comedies:
25 favorite romantic dramas:
Favorite Actress:
1.Streep
2.Zellweiger
3.Streep
4.Other (explain)
Favorite Actor:
1.Depp
2.Gere
3.Redford
Favorite Porn: (stop here)
Music:
Favorite musicians:
Gwen Stefani
Alicia Keys
Justin Timberlake
Metallica (stop here)
Family and Children:
Number of children desired:
Boys or girls:
Preferred year for commencement of child-birthing:
Preferred Private or public school:
Preferred college fund plan:
Nanny/housekeeper/tutors:
Choir/Piano lessons:
Recommended pediatrician:
Best age for Disney:
Best age for first date:
1.17
2.18
3.college
College:
BU
BC
Wellesley
Other all girls
UMASS (stop here)
Church:
1.Unitarian
2.Protestant
3.Catholic
4.convert to: (specify)
Pets:
Types of pets:
Number of pets:
Preferred Veterinarian:
Preferred groomer:
Reputable dog-walker:
Other helpful Skills or Information (check all that apply):
Mowing:
Hedge clipping:
Home maintenance:
Auto maintenance:
Snow shoveling:
Dishwashing:
Cooking:
Mopping:
Construction:
Pool maintenance:
Animal control:
For someone who is 32 it is really hit or miss in Boston for dating. Sure there are lots of college students, the majority are undergrads who will probably be and act too young for you. Those will be different bars that get old real fast. I've heard online dating is really big in Boston, but I've never done it. I'm not single anymore (31 years old now) but was for most of my early to mid 20's and personally I had a lot more success meeting women in other cities. Boston was difficult, the girls really have their guard up and are defensive from the start. Sometimes I would just ask if a seat was taken or if she could pass my a coaster, and some girls would act like you were hitting on them. Since your an outsider you might actually like the subtle differences. For my friends and I, the experiences we had wasn't what you would think given the amounts of young women.
On a side note, many girls don't know how to dress in Boston. They will take 2 articles of clothing that apart look fine, but will put them in the same outfit thinking it will look better...and it doesn't. So I felt the girls around Boston most of the time looked "frumpy".
If you do go to Boston just have a good time and don't have any expectations. If you meet someone great, if not, your not the only one.
The guy Im dating is from MA and said one of the things that attracted him to me was that I was not like the girls in Boston. He said it was refreshing to meet a chick who smiles and easy to talk to. Then again Im not from Boston and he said he liked that too lol.
This isn't necessarily untrue. However, it sort of goes along with the New England persona in general (guarded, but direct and to the point). I wouldn't disagree that in general (this is, of course, a sweeping generalization and individual experiences vary), women in Boston are somewhat less approachable than in other cities.
I don't mind. In fact, I enjoy it. My experiences (I'm 25 and, as of a few months ago, single again) with dating/approaching women in other cities (namely, Dallas, San Francisco, Washington DC, and a few other mid-size cities) wasn't any better than Boston. The difference was that it was easier to just strike up a conversation with someone in some of those other cities. But more often than not, the conversation lead to nothing. Sometimes I spent 1/2 hour or more talking to someone having a genuinely good conversation just to find out that she was in a relationship, or maybe just not interested.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times when just striking up a casual, platonic conversation with a woman at a bar is pleasant and enjoyable. I had fun regardless of the turnout. But when I'm seriously interested in a possible romantic connection, I don't really love talking to someone who isn't interested for an hour. This probably makes me shallow to a degree in some peoples' eyes, but it's true.
I enjoy that in Boston, 9 out of 10 times if a woman isn't interested, she won't give me the time of day. Sure, it means you have to have thick skin and the ability to quickly recover. But it also means you're not going to spend an hour or so in a conversation trying to decipher whether she's genuinely interested in you or just likes the conversation and nothing else. Frankly, I welcome the directness of women's approach to dating in Boston. There's no beating around the bush (no terrible pun intended). I consider it a favor. In fact, if a woman is interested in you, it's just as likely that she'll come up to you and start talking (it happens plenty).
My female friends (most are not native to this area) love going out in Boston vs. other cities because quickly shutting down a guy in many other cities is often met with outrage and many times name calling (Each one of them has been called a b**ch more than once for not indulging someone in conversation at bars elsewhere). In Boston, it's the norm to be quick about it. And frankly, I don't blame women. Why should someone have to sit and politely smile and not while a guy struggles through forced small talk when they know they're not interested from the start (multiple times in a night)? There's no shortage of successful, attractive young people in Boston. It's competitive.
Finally, I think approaching women in bars in Boston has helped me in other cities. For one, rejection is easy to brush off (I've seen people crumble because someone at a bar won't talk to them). And two, it makes it easier to get what I want (i.e. to tell whether or not she's interested ) out of a conversation early on. If I'm looking for a romantic connection and she isn't, then I'm probably wasting both of our time by babbling on.
Casual conversation is a lot of fun. I do enjoy it most of the time. In fact, as a recently single professional in my mid 20s, it's about all I'm looking for at a bar right now. I'll admit, it's not as easy to do as in other cities, but it's not impossible either (generally, it's easiest when you talk to a woman like a normal human being... not by trying to force small talk out of thin air). When I do start looking for a girlfriend (or something less committed), I know I'll appreciate the Boston directness. It'll make things a lot easier.
[buzzer] ANNNNNNNNN. Exact opposite. So not what LTR dating is all about. (Perhaps the one night stand or the ever popular bed buddy.) It's about the chase. That's what's wrong with this place! It's about having conversation. Even if people aren't romantically interested, you get a better sense of what you SHOULD be interested in to get the people you want to be interested in you interested. I find that people I know who end up together in successful relationship, initially had little/no interest in each other or were dating someone else. You can have good conversation and hook up with someone. Main reason why this is a single's city.
Yes, and many girls look a mess in Boston. I just don't get it. Thunder thighs and pumpkin booty hanging all out of busted black tights, and a white tank top with last nights adventure still on it. Don't forget the Uggs.
Last edited by theSUBlime; 11-27-2011 at 01:38 PM..
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