Can a single mom survive in Boston? (Cambridge, Brookline: transplants, day care)

[NotAPrincess]

Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts

It doesn't have to be. I was a single mom and raised 2 sons and never took a dime of anything....and I finished 2 degrees.

I'm sorry, but your child is already 2 or 3, that is too long to be getting government assisitance. And to move to one of the most expensive places in the country and expect more of it? Forgive me, but it angers me.

Well, why don't you share your pearls of wisdom for how to do this then?

[LeavingMassachusetts]

Originally Posted by NotAPrincess

Well, why don't you share your pearls of wisdom for how to do this then?

Work as many jobs as you can and go to school as often as you can. She said she has family that babysits for free.

I am all for helping others who need it...I just don't think it should go on for years.

[Redsox1972]

Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts

It doesn't have to be. I was a single mom and raised 2 sons and never took a dime of anything....and I finished 2 degrees.

I'm sorry, but your child is already 2 or 3, that is too long to be getting government assisitance. And to move to one of the most expensive places in the country and expect more of it? Forgive me, but it angers me.

The OP didn't come to this forum to get berated. If you're so sensitive to anyone getting assistance, then get it out with a draft response and don't hit "post".

Also, she's only 21. If her child is 3-ish, she was obviously young when she had her child. She just might be trying to get a college education and advance in life. Arizona is quite different than here and perhaps the OP feels she'll have more opportunites here than in AZ. She also stated that she does not have family here, so, it makes sense to inquire about child care options. Lastly, do you think that a three year old should not have health insurance? Yeah, that makes sense. Let the OP get an education and get a more sustainable job than what she might have had in AZ, so that she can get private health insurance and make her own child care arrangments.

Good luck to the OP with everything.

[miu]

Originally Posted by ArizonaMommy

I will need government assistance wherever i go being a single mom... until i make enough money otherwise... thats the way it is being a SINGLE mom yet to get her degree.

So... where is the father of your child? And why isn't he helping you to raise the child you created together? Why not seek child support payments from him?

[miu]

Originally Posted by Redsox1972

The OP didn't come to this forum to get berated. If you're so sensitive to anyone getting assistance, then get it out with a draft response and don't hit "post".

Also, she's only 21. If her child is 3-ish, she was obviously young when she had her child. She just might be trying to get a college education and advance in life. Arizona is quite different than here and perhaps the OP feels she'll have more opportunites here than in AZ. She also stated that she does not have family here, so, it makes sense to inquire about child care options. Lastly, do you think that a three year old should not have health insurance? Yeah, that makes sense. Let the OP get an education and get a more sustainable job than what she might have had in AZ, so that she can get private health insurance and make her own child care arrangments.

Good luck to the OP with everything.

What's wrong with being realistic about the OP's situation? She's only 21 and with a 3 year old child. So it makes perfect sense that she ought to stay in AZ so that she has the support of her family. Why should the people of MA foot the bill for her child's health insurance and childcare? It's the responsibility of the OP and her baby's father to take care of her child. We in MA don't owe her anything.

In addition, it's also very unrealistic and maybe even unwise for the OP to enter an apartment or house share with complete strangers with such a young child in tow. Again, she needs to stay in AZ for the support of her family network if she plans to go to school or to work full time. Otherwise, college will have to wait until her child gets older and becomes more independent.

[AandD]

Originally Posted by miu

So... where is the father of your child? And why isn't he helping you to raise the child you created together? Why not seek child support payments from him?

'

Dude, that's WAY over the line.

[LeavingMassachusetts]

Originally Posted by Redsox1972

The OP didn't come to this forum to get berated. If you're so sensitive to anyone getting assistance, then get it out with a draft response and don't hit "post".

Also, she's only 21. If her child is 3-ish, she was obviously young when she had her child. She just might be trying to get a college education and advance in life. Arizona is quite different than here and perhaps the OP feels she'll have more opportunites here than in AZ. She also stated that she does not have family here, so, it makes sense to inquire about child care options. Lastly, do you think that a three year old should not have health insurance? Yeah, that makes sense. Let the OP get an education and get a more sustainable job than what she might have had in AZ, so that she can get private health insurance and make her own child care arrangments.

Good luck to the OP with everything.

I am just pointing out reality. I was also a very young Mom, sorry I don't pass out sympathy...or money because of it. I think it is absolutely idiotic to want to move to an outrageously expensive area of the country and then try and get an education to provider for her child, all at the expense of my tax dollars.

She has a job and a family support system in AZ, she should stay there until she is educated and can move on. Heck, she can get a degree online now and be able to be home with her daughter. She needs to put things in perspective and do what is best for her daughter. Moving her clear across the country, living near a poverty level, relying on government assistance is not what is best. And to boot she wants to live with strangers? Why put a child in that situation?

We tell people all the time not to move here if they don't meet income guidelines because they will be miserable. It should be stressed more when there is a child at stake.

[MassVt]

Hold on a minute..

I believe that she stated something about a job offer from Raytheon ( I assume that this is in MA, and not AZ, but I'm not sure)..

If the job offer would allow her to stay in AR, then she should stay there, and pursue higher education in a state that is markedly less expensive, and where she has caregiver options. If the job is indeed in MA, then there are problems that need to be addressed. She would certainly benefit from having someone move with her-a friend , relative, etc. Making a cross-country move, with child, and without any other support, would be extremely difficult..

[miu]

If the OP has a job offer from Raytheon, she should still only move here if they are offering her enough money to be above the poverty level to live on with her young daughter. If not, she needs to stay in AZ or ask Raytheon for more money.

Boston is well known for being an expensive city to live in, so there is no reason to give her false hopes of being able to live here cheaply. And it's not fair to the current working residents of MA to expect us to welcome the OP with open arms and want to pay for her 3 year old's health insurance and childcare. Such blanket generosity and charity is what has gotten states like CA into deep financial crisis.

And what exactly is your definition of her 3 year old getting free health insurance? Free checkups and vaccinations? Free medical treatment for any circumstance? It's the OP's child, why shouldn't she be expected to pay for HER child's basic medical needs like the rest of the paying working MA citizens? And instead of looking to state or federal government for her child's needs, she ought to be asking her child's father first and secondly her family and his for that help. Asking for state and federal help should be the very last resort and done so unwillingly.

MA and her residents just don't need any more tax burdens. If anything, we need less of them. And I don't believe in socialism.

[grndma2ann]

Give the poor girl a break, sounds like she's trying to better herself with a better job and least she had the good sense to ask about cost of living in Boston before moving there, shows she's at least thinking ahead.
Girl I raised 2 kids as a single parent 20 min from Boston and let me tell you it was hard. I worked 2 jobs to live in the slums and I was blessed with a friend who became my babysitter for years for a very cheap price or I would have never been able to afford the high priced daycare in MA. I've since moved to NC and let me tell you had I known how much greener the grass is in the south I would never have raised my kids in or near Boston. For the amount of money I paid to raise them in the slums I could have raised them in a luxurioius house in the country 900 miles away.
Boston is over priced, and not the best choice for a 21 single parent with no support system.