People without cars in Boston-area (Florida: houses, to buy, taxi)

[Pear Martini]

I lived in the Boston area until I was 17, moved to Miami and returned at the age of 23. I just moved back about 6 months ago, and something that has really been a constant theme here is the volume of people who don't have cars or don't know how to drive trying to get me to drive them around places.

I can't tell you how many of my weekends have been devoured by other people's shopping trips, its starting to feel like I have no weekend of my own.

These aren't "new friends" either, these are aunts, cousins, "friends" I grew up with...

It seems whenever I'm around, I end up chauffering these people around everywhere and I feel like I'm totally being used. Last night, I stopped by my aunts house just to say hello on a lazy Saturday, and she immediatly had me drive her to a mall and shopped with her daughter for 2 hours at stores I can't afford. They probably spent over $500 while my broke ass is there sitting in chairs and looking at clothes I used to be able to afford before I moved back to Boston.


I have 2 other aunts that do the exact same thing, I can never just hang out with them, they always have to "go shopping" or stop somewhere. They literally never contact me unless they need something from me.

Even an old "friend" who I have known since the 2nd grade does this. We will have plans for a Saturday afternoon, but she always tries to steer them into going places that she cannot reach via public transport. "Oh I need to
go to home goods, are you going to trader joes today?"

Besides that, most of my friends and family here pretty much expect me to pick them up and drop them off to their houses when we have plans. This is bull****, I'm tired of it, buy your own damn car. I rather not have a social life than do this ****.


I'm really starting to resent most of the people I knew here, especially my family. They seem to kiss my ass and only want me around when they want to spend 5 hours shopping or driving from target then shaws and then the mall.



I wonder if my old friends and family would even be this nice to me if I didn't have a car.


Has anyone else experienced this here?
How have you handled it?

[unit731]

Just tell them all that you are having car troubles. Tell them that as soon as you can afford AAA towing you can drive them again.

[dragonborn]

Yep, tell them your car broke down. I hate driving people around, especially if the favour is never returned and they don't pay petrol money. You're not a free taxi service.

[Cantabridgienne]

You need to work on setting boundaries. Not sure how this is Boston-related?

[beth98]

Sounds like an issue with your friends and family rather than people in Boston. Set times for yourself and what you want to do and stick to them. The more you allow people to take advantage of you the more they will.

[Pear Martini]

I think it is a relevant topic in Boston because in most other American cities besides NY, most adults have cars or at least know how to drive and have access to a family vehicle.

Boston is probably the city with the highest number of residents that don't drive, "the walking city".

I never had this issue in Florida cities or Georgia cities.

[Pear Martini]

I'm gonna start telling people I have car issues though, it seems the only way to get these folks to be considerate is to lie

[dragonborn]

Originally Posted by Pear Martini

I think it is a relevant topic in Boston because in most other American cities besides NY, most adults have cars or at least know how to drive and have access to a family vehicle.

Boston is probably the city with the highest number of residents that don't drive, "the walking city".

I never had this issue in Florida cities or Georgia cities.

I wish more people didn't drive here actually! Too many nutters on the roads as it is!!

[DawnMTL]

It's much easier to make something up -- car trouble or whatnot -- but that's not going to last. You can't ALWAYS have car trouble. And if you're already at your aunt's visiting -- with your car! -- she's not going to buy your story after she asks to be taken to the mall.

Maybe you just need to come clean and be honest with them about it: It's too expensive (gas, etc...) to chauffeur everyone around and, most importantly, driving from store to store -- and sitting in said stores while someone shops -- is not what you like to do with your free time.

You don't have to make it confrontational, so they don't have to get all defensive about it, but maybe you should just lay the cards on the table and say how you feel.

Note: I've learned that instead of starting a sentence with "YOU" (as in "You always expect me to take you places"), it's less confrontational if you start it with "I" (as in "I feel like I'm being taken advantage of").

Good luck. I hope it all works out.

[Cantabridgienne]

Again, this is an issue with you not being able to stand up for yourself.