U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Massachusetts > Boston
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-01-2012, 12:41 AM
 
Location: New Hampshire
2,249 posts, read 4,144,766 times
Reputation: 3785
Quote:
Originally Posted by NomadicLifestyle View Post
I just really don't like this city. I find it expensive, dirty, congested, and overall just not enjoyable ... While I love the public transportation, I expected for a major U.S. city to be above the "curve" especially after flying out to the West and visiting every other state on the East Coast. Recycling, going green, public health initiatives, etc.
As others have mentioned, Boston is cleaner AND less congested than most of the other major cities on the East Coast. Are you sure that your issue isn't with Boston in particular, but with living in large cities in general?

Boston may be no Portland when it comes to green initiatives, but I can assure you that it is well ahead of the vast majority of American cities. Boston values its public transit and walkability, and its pre-war, organic development patterns serve as a lesson in sustainability to other cities in this country.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NomadicLifestyle View Post
While I'm not feening for friendship, almost everyone I met has been in Boston or Mass since birth and their life scope is limited. Or they dislike the city as much as I do! Which of course doesn't help my feelings.

Also, all my coworkers are also transplants to the city, so they aren't a wealth of resources.
I don't quite understand here - you say that most people you've met are locals, yet all of your coworkers are transplants? I would really suggest trying to find a group of people with a shared interest (through meetup.com for example), and you are bound to make friends who are transplants.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NomadicLifestyle View Post
I've been all over the state to the tourist places, I plan to try a few others, I've been out to Cape Cod, Provincetown, Salem, Plymouth, etc. I've been to the science museum, malls, etc. So, suggesting me to get out more isn't the problem. I actually enjoy what Boston has to offer as VACATION things, not living here permanently.

Are there any day to day activities that have helped other transplants enjoy the city?
You don't need to travel that far to recharge, reflect, and have quiet time away from the city noise and congestion. I make a regular habit of taking a walk after work just to recharge my batteries and enjoy the fresh air. When I worked downtown, it would be through the Common and the streets of Beacon Hill; now I walk through South Boston and along the M Street Beach or out to Castle Island.

There are many other beautiful, peaceful green spaces around the city that allow the same simple pleasures - the Emerald Necklace, Mt. Auburn Cemetery, etc. If you consider these "vacation activities," you may need to reconsider what living in a city really means. We are supposed to enjoy these things on a daily basis as much as the tourists do - it is our city.

It's also possible to get out of the city without doing things that are necessarily "touristy." Everyone goes to Salem, P-town - you aren't exactly "escaping the crowds" in these places. Get out into nature. Go north into the mountains. Drive to Quebec, even... hear French and feel like you're in Europe. Where else in the US will you have that opportunity?

I don't know which part of the city you live in, and I know you won't be here much longer, but you might even consider moving to an area that better suits your needs - perhaps a neighborhood that is cleaner and quieter. If you believe your current location is really dragging you down, it may be worth it to invest your time in finding a place where you would feel happier.

Try to take advantage of what Boston has to offer in your remaining time here. There are so many layers of history, so much cultural, artistic, and architectural heritage that you won't experience in other parts of the country, and unless you get out there to discover them, you'll miss them. Boston is a city where you can walk everywhere, where you can still buy things that are made locally from local vendors, and not everything consists of chain stores and restaurants sprawled along multi-lane concrete highways for miles. Trust me: this is something you take for granted in Boston.

Last edited by Verseau; 04-01-2012 at 12:50 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-01-2012, 07:00 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,917 posts, read 21,323,854 times
Reputation: 10054
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cato the Elder View Post
This. If you think Boston is noticeably dirtier than any other Northeast city, you've lost me. Are you mistaking older for dirtier? Yes, Boston is generally not shiny and new. We don't like to bulldoze structures and build new ones that will likely fade faster (think LA or Phoenix). We have a serious problem in the country as it is making everything disposable. Maybe you need a more intimate, nurturing setting? I just don't know how much better a place like Providence or Hartford would take care of you, both socially and medically. Maybe you need a smaller urban center like Portsmouth or even something like Salem?
Good point. Boston is full of brick townhouses and we don't have that gleaming whitewashed look of cities like Miami. We really don't have that many skyscraper buildings either and only a few of them are covered in reflective glass windows.

Anyway, I hope that you are happier in the next place you move to. Or maybe your sour mood is due to hormonal changes in your body because of your pregnancy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2012, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts until 2016.
287 posts, read 325,957 times
Reputation: 303
OP - I know what you mean. I too have moved many places. Some clicked right in for me, like I had been made to be there, felt comfortable very quickly. Others, not so much. Some places are just not a good fit for your personality. Nothing wrong with you, or with the place.

almost everyone I met has been in Boston or Mass since birth and their life scope is limited.

I have noticed that as well. I do not understand the complete lack of interest in seeing what else is out there in many people that I have met here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2012, 10:39 AM
 
325 posts, read 325,771 times
Reputation: 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by westwind15 View Post
OP - I know what you mean. I too have moved many places. Some clicked right in for me, like I had been made to be there, felt comfortable very quickly. Others, not so much. Some places are just not a good fit for your personality. Nothing wrong with you, or with the place.

almost everyone I met has been in Boston or Mass since birth and their life scope is limited.

I have noticed that as well. I do not understand the complete lack of interest in seeing what else is out there in many people that I have met here.
I had the exact opposite experience in Boston. Many of my friends who grew up in Boston left the state, and many of my friends still in Boston came from elsewhere. One thing I'm sure of is that generalizing and rationalizing is not going to improve your experience.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2012, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Beverly, Mass
940 posts, read 769,217 times
Reputation: 507
May be you are just missing a place, that feels more like home to you from your past, and that's why no matter how much a place like Boston has to offer doesn't matter to you?

May be it's your heart telling you, you are not where you are supposed to be?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-02-2012, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Boston
1,082 posts, read 1,427,650 times
Reputation: 834
Quote:
Originally Posted by NomadicLifestyle View Post

I just really don't like this city. I find it expensive, dirty, congested, and overall just not enjoyable. Now I've lived in both Connecticut and Rhode Island. I stayed in Ri for college and made day trips to Boston to "get away" and I always found the city full of things to do but never a place to live. While I love the public transportation, I expected for a major U.S. city to be above the "curve" especially after flying out to the West and visiting every other state on the East Coast. Recycling, going green, public health initiatives, etc.
I'm going to guess a long with a few others, that you just aren't a city person. That's fine, no need to be, but this means it's probably not Boston that is the problem, so much as the fact that Boston is a city. Your last bit in this paragraph is rather strange, because Boston is actually a leader on these issues. Maybe you just don't know enough about what is going on in this city, but Boston is one of the healthiest, greenest cities in the United States.
Quote:
I don't want to have to be in college again, which EVERYTHING here seems to affiliated with some college to feel like I'm moving or helping progress humanity.
This is only true for certain sections of the city. Certainly the large research universities are major employers, but that doesn't mean that they dominate life throughout Boston.
Quote:
Example: For one of the only states that has mass statewide health FOR everyone, not just children or seniors, I'm finding a lot of limitations with doctor's and high transfer rates to hospitals. I recently found out I was pregnant (unplanned, but joyous) and that there are only two birth centers in the ENTIRE state. I really thought Boston/Mass was a headway in healthcare and options but for some reason this shocks me when you cross the border to NH and find 5.
I'll plead my own ignorance here, but I'm not sure what you mean by birth center. Presumably you mean something different from a hospital birth and delivery ward, since there are quite a few globally recognized hospital and obstetrics programs in Boston.
Quote:

While I'm not feening for friendship, almost everyone I met has been in Boston or Mass since birth and their life scope is limited. Or they dislike the city as much as I do! Which of course doesn't help my feelings.
Look around more, you'll find plenty of transplants. And typically, birds of a feather flock together, so it doesn't surprise me that you find people who see Boston the way you do. But there are quite a few of us who love it here. Look for us.
Quote:

Also, all my coworkers are also transplants to the city, so they aren't a wealth of resources.
See that! You found some transplants! Now here's what you need to do -- arrange some time for people in that first group, the folks who are all locals, to meet some of the people in the second group.
Quote:

Basically, I need some advice how to make the next 6 months of my life here in Boston even mildly acceptable?
You have a baby on the way. This is a good time to focus on the changes that will imply. Try looking for some expectant parent support groups. I'll bet you can learn a lot of helpful information, and at some point, you'll probably be surprised to find that you have some friends who don't hate Boston, some who are transplants, and some who have lived here all their life.
Quote:

I've been all over the state to the tourist places, I plan to try a few others, I've been out to Cape Cod, Provincetown, Salem, Plymouth, etc. I've been to the science museum, malls, etc. So, suggesting me to get out more isn't the problem. I actually enjoy what Boston has to offer as VACATION things, not living here permanently.

Are there any day to day activities that have helped other transplants enjoy the city?
Time to stop acting like a tourist. You are going to live here for a while. My advice is that you start living, instead of visiting. Find out more about what's happening in your neighborhood, how it ticks, what is it that the tourists never see? Spend some time walking the neighborhoods that are more than a half mile from the freedom trail, and get to really feel the pulse of the city. By the time your baby is born, you may well feel very happy to be here. Or you won't, and ultimately, you'll move on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-02-2012, 02:00 PM
 
596 posts, read 671,418 times
Reputation: 306
What is your gripe with public transportation in Boston? The T is arguably the best public transport system in the country, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

If it's really so bad then just remember that it's only a little while longer and soon you'll be out.

You should go someplace down south, like Charlotte or Atlanta, I think you'll find it more to your liking. Those cities are a lot more modern and clean, much less expensive for both housing and everything else (MUCH less expensive), and are a lot better for young families, not to mention there's a lot more green space and cleaner air and room to stretch out and enjoy yourself. Based on what you don't like about Boston, a southern city like Greensboro, Atlanta, Charlotte, Charleston, Raleigh-Durham, Nashville, etc. you would probably love.

Last edited by RC1981; 04-02-2012 at 02:10 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-02-2012, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Adventure Land!! Arriving soon!
1,794 posts, read 606,171 times
Reputation: 3629
Quote:
Originally Posted by NomadicLifestyle View Post
Thank you for you response!

My boyfriend is here and a great support. I'm actually not concerned about taking care of my child as I have the support and resources, and I'd be transferring out closer to family or changing my position entirely because I work 10-12 hours and I couldn't see myself working like that with a baby. And I've been feeling like this since January, so hormones aren't really a factor. The info about my pregnancy was to connect to the example on how I feel Boston isn't as progressive with the lack of birth centers or options for a major city.

It's not really a need to be constantly entertained. Honestly, I'm a homebody most of the time but I love to immerse myself wherever I am living and I'm having a hard time "connecting" with this city if that's makes sense.
Live for today. We wish our days away, than wonder where time went. There are many things a person needs to do for themselves, regardless of their location: taking good care of yourselves, nurturing relationships, invest in themselves- i.e. hobbies or other interest you might be doing in your next location (i.e. art- doing and/or appreciating, good books, photography...etc)

Also, think of this. You have a plan, it is not endless. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Me, I am in a state I wish I weren't, with little idea where I will go next. Plus, I have no resources to move.

I can understand waiting is hard but try to be in the moment more. (Sigh, I have to do this too... )

We live today, not in the future.

In other words, concentrate on you: what you can do for you, your child and your boyfriend. In the moment as you still plan for the future. Sounds contradictory? Yes, but we can hold two opposing views at once.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-02-2012, 03:18 PM
 
2,640 posts, read 2,437,026 times
Reputation: 3218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cato the Elder View Post
This. If you think Boston is noticeably dirtier than any other Northeast city, you've lost me. Are you mistaking older for dirtier? Yes, Boston is generally not shiny and new. We don't like to bulldoze structures and build new ones that will likely fade faster (think LA or Phoenix). We have a serious problem in the country as it is making everything disposable. Maybe you need a more intimate, nurturing setting? I just don't know how much better a place like Providence or Hartford would take care of you, both socially and medically. Maybe you need a smaller urban center like Portsmouth or even something like Salem?
I love this post! Boston is what it is, historically rich. Reminds me of a young friend who visited Boston from St. Paul, Minn a few years ago. She kept pointing at things asking why they didn't tear this or that down. It's called history, baby.

I just came back from 4 days in NYC. Garbage bags line the curbs at night because there's no room for dumpsters. It didn't detract one bit from the magnificence of the city.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-02-2012, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Macao
12,306 posts, read 18,139,363 times
Reputation: 5961
Quote:
Originally Posted by NomadicLifestyle View Post
While I'm not feening for friendship, almost everyone I met has been in Boston or Mass since birth and their life scope is limited. Or they dislike the city as much as I do! Which of course doesn't help my feelings.
This is probably your problem. If you often talk about how much you hate the place, you'll only attract people that agree with you. People who disagree with you will give you a wide berth.

I'm an expat in Japan, arguably one of the coolest places on the planet. In short, I meet a lot of fellow transplants, and some thrive and some are miserable. People who like a place, have very little interest in spending time with the people who don't.

Than the whole 'self-fulfilling prophecy' kicks in, where the miserable person just knew the place sucked, and it seriously does end up sucking for them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2011 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Massachusetts > Boston

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top