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Old 07-04-2013, 05:25 AM
Location: Better half of PA
1,391 posts, read 997,605 times
Reputation: 609


I'll call BS on the OP. I'm no Boston expert but "everywhere I go people are mean"? The OP probably heard the usual "Boston and the northeast is full of rude people" and then used that to stir the pot.
Been to Boston many times (just a week ago in fact) and the people are just as nice as anywhere else. Sure, there are jerks in Boston just like there are jerks in Iowa. That doesn't make all of New England a hard place to meet nice people or make friends.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:04 AM
Location: Massachusetts
5,944 posts, read 6,748,830 times
Reputation: 4277
I came to the area in the 1980s. Following the dotcom era, Boston is a much more hip, friendlier place than it has ever been and continues every year I have lived in Massachusetts to get better. The internet especially meetup and socialweb provide more opportunities to connect with interesting, fun people through groups than ever was possible pre-internet. As others have mentioned on other threads, transplants are nearly half the population of Massachusetts, so many other people are looking to meet new people just like you.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:32 AM
131 posts, read 320,108 times
Reputation: 145
Do you sing?I joined an amateur (non-auditioned) choral group a few years back. The people are awesome. It gave me the opportunity to sing at Carnegie Hall, a once in a lifetime experience that I never even dreamed of, let alone put on my bucket list.
This whole area is sports mad. Maybe you could develop an interest in sports.
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Old 07-04-2013, 11:46 AM
Location: Bike to Surf!
3,080 posts, read 9,691,255 times
Reputation: 2977
Originally Posted by redpetticoat View Post
So does anyone know where I can go to meet some nice people who want friends and who are actually welcoming to newcomers?
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Old 07-04-2013, 12:00 PM
Location: Connecticut
214 posts, read 233,389 times
Reputation: 211
New England and its people are amazing, and outsiders like you have to accept that or leave. We're definitely a couple levels above you and instead of accepting it and moving on with your lives, you only complain all the time. Perhaps texas is a better place for you?
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Old 07-04-2013, 02:35 PM
Location: MA/NH
16,469 posts, read 33,431,905 times
Reputation: 15203
Originally Posted by donewithpretty View Post
Her past posts say she's about 30 and married. Kids aren't that weird of an idea.
Well... I don't think that it's my responsibility to search her posts to learn more about who she is before giving the advice that she is seeking. With only a total of 30 posts as she made her thread, how can you expect me to know those details. And in fact, she should have given that information in her first post of this thread of hers.

I have to say that her first post made her sound like a complaining single woman in her 20's. But that that I know that she is about 30 years old and married, my first thoughts are that she should be trying to socialize with other couples her own age. And I wonder if her husband is having the same problem making friends. Since she is married, most single women in her age group will not be interested in hanging out with her since they when they go out, they want to party and meet single men. Having a married person around just puts a damper on things.

Secondly, if she is patient, once she starts having kids, she will be able to make friends with parents with children of the same age.

Otherwise, she needs to find a hobby that she enjoys, then meet others who enjoy the same activity.
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Old 07-04-2013, 02:41 PM
8,641 posts, read 8,781,877 times
Reputation: 5185
Are people mean to you for no reason, or do you have a repulsive personality so nobody likes you, I find that more likely than all 634,000 Bostonians being mean, unwelcoming people.

Or another possiblity, that post is hyperbole.
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Old 07-04-2013, 03:21 PM
4,243 posts, read 5,752,547 times
Reputation: 9887
For one thing, stop smiling at everyone. We don't do that here. It's unnerving. Listen to people. Let them talk. You'll get your turn and when you do, don't gush or fawn. Speak honestly, ask questions and maybe take a class in something that interests you.
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Old 07-05-2013, 06:23 AM
Location: MA/NH
16,469 posts, read 33,431,905 times
Reputation: 15203
Originally Posted by redpetticoat View Post
I honestly can't handle it anymore. Everywhere I go people are mean to me here. I can't seem to find anyone to be friends with. No one is friendly. No one invites me to hang out during the week or do anything on the weekends. I try to ask the few people I know to do stuff but they all seem to busy and just work 24/7. I don't know what to do anymore. But after a year living here I'm frankly quite tired of being lonely and being bitched at by everyone in stores or anywhere I go in public. I moved to a city because I thought city living would be fun. I'm finding out live in the midwest was a whole lot better.

So does anyone know where I can go to meet some nice people who want friends and who are actually welcoming to newcomers?
First of all, longtime settled Bostonians already have very full and busy lives with their work, family and friends. The last thing they need is to take on a lonely and needy complaining person such as yourself. I am very sure that you are only too forthcoming with your lack of friends and invitations to just hang out. Just like in the dating world, that sort of desperation is scary to others. Nobody wants a clingy new acquaintance around.

You need become busy yourself with other productive activities. Go find some volunteer work to do. Again, what is your husband doing with his time off from work?

If you are religious, find a church and get involved with church activities.

Get in touch with the alumni associations of any of the schools you've ever gone to. In Boston, there's bound to be some people who went to the same schools at the same time as you did.

Become a mentor or Big Sister. Get a part time job as a tutor.

Or get a cute dog and take walks around the Boston Commons. Make friends with other dog owners as your dogs play together.
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Old 07-05-2013, 06:54 AM
Location: MA/NH
16,469 posts, read 33,431,905 times
Reputation: 15203
And I wanted to add that I make new friends all of the time through work. Especially through my catering jobs. And my approach is that first, our personalities click, I like their work ethic (I hate slackers and those addicted to their smartphones), they should be smart and use commonsense (like me), and then... through small talk, I find out what THEIR interests are. I don't talk about myself or my interests (unless asked), but I find out what they are like as a person and what their passions are. I also see how easily we laugh together.

From work, I've met some very interesting people. One man used to run a gourmet ice cream company and we have the same interest in raising bees. An Austrian born pastry chef loves that I eventually want to have a small organic farm. He's given me some very valuable suggestions. With other co-workers, I talk about our love for cars, dogs, cooking, fashion, shopping and whatever else. However, being childfree by choice, I do admit that I avoid all talk about babies and children. When the other women start talking about their kids, I just go hang out with the guys.

Otherwise, I am so outgoing at my jobs, that when I get home, I really would rather be alone with my boyfriend and dogs. We do go out with friends, but really we are happy at home by ourselves. And because I have so many great people to talk to at work, I enjoy going to work and also feel that I have a full life. BTW my boyfriend and I consider each other to be our best friends also. I hope that you have that with your husband.

But yeah, when you are at work, try to learn about what your co-workers' interests and passions are. See what you have in common, or at least find a way that your company is more attractive to them. Don't talk about being lonely and without friends as a newcomer to Boston. Nobody wants the hear that or wants to be friends with a person who so far has failed to make new friends in Boston. Because that does indicate the problem is with YOU.
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