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Old 07-25-2013, 08:52 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,531 posts, read 33,538,791 times
Reputation: 15274

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If none of your co-workers are friend material, then get a part time job. Sign up with a temp agency and be a catering server one night a week. You'll work fun events and get fed. And after a few jobs, you'll find that you're working with the same crew. And catering is a team effort, so you will form bonds. And most of those temps have regular full time jobs or go to school, so it will be a diverse group of people.
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Old 12-09-2015, 05:59 AM
 
1 posts, read 719 times
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I disagree with people not having time with new comers that's bull xxxxx. It's more like people needs social rejects to feel good about themselves lol.
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Old 12-09-2015, 05:00 PM
 
2,232 posts, read 4,392,174 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pito_Chueco View Post
Your best option is to move to a place where there are a lot of transplants. In the Northeast (with only a few exceptions) most of the people are very tight with their families and they have known their friends since they were fetuses. In other words, they have neither the time nor the desire to hang out with you.

The other option is to have kids, and you will easily meet other parents.
Agreed. Even though Boston is good sized city, other than the college students I never find it that transient. Most of the younger professionals seemed to have grown up in Massachusetts or the New England area and already have their group of friends. I grew up in Central Massachusetts and it still is the same clicky people from high school that never made any new friends.

I do disagree with many who said people are too busy. For most that is a lame excuse I've heard over and over again. You make time if somebody was really your friend and if you want to hang out. I now live in Texas and have had no issues making friends (real friends). Some are local Texans and others are from out of state, but people would always invite you out for something. It actually got exhausting and was almost too much as it was always something. You didn't want to say "no" cause they might stop inviting you, but it was great to meet people.

Even if the person who invited you didn't become a good friend, I usually made a friend at whatever event I had been invited to. My friends and family who visit from New England are amazed at how nice my friends down here treat them as an outsider. I've visited a lot of cities and definitely had an easier time meeting people than I have in Boston. It just seems many in Boston are not interested in any more friends.
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:57 PM
 
2,079 posts, read 2,489,038 times
Reputation: 3947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Off-beat View Post
New England and its people are amazing, and outsiders like you have to accept that or leave. We're definitely a couple levels above you and instead of accepting it and moving on with your lives, you only complain all the time. Perhaps texas is a better place for you?

oh please, Connecticut shouldn't even be considered part of new England.

Quote:
Originally Posted by el_greco View Post
I just moved here and I've found it difficult too. People don't seem too keen on talking to strangers. I haven't noticed it being particularly more difficult than anywhere else though but that's because this is the first place I've moved where I didn't know anybody.
that's because they only time strangers talk to you is if they want favors or money. people are cold & reserved because they are smart enough to know that most other people are crap and cant be trusted.
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Old 12-16-2015, 08:14 AM
 
93 posts, read 71,247 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pito_Chueco View Post
Your best option is to move to a place where there are a lot of transplants. In the Northeast (with only a few exceptions) most of the people are very tight with their families and they have known their friends since they were fetuses. In other words, they have neither the time nor the desire to hang out with you.

The other option is to have kids, and you will easily meet other parents.
This became very apparent to me when I went down to NOLA. Met some amazing new people out there and people would embrace new folks into conversation, drinks and then things would blossom from there.
Should be no surprise that every major city has a different 'vibe'.

People work hard here. Lots of pressure to perform well due to competition. Some of the best colleges and companies are in this city. People are on a strict agenda..
Boston people move fast. It may have to do with the seasons too. After work you're either trying to rush home to beat the snow or get the last ounce of sun on a beautiful spring or summer day.
Also spend time with family/friends.

Traffic makes people not take the time to smell the roses/stick around and meet a person too - lots of congestion on highways between 3-6p. You go out West and there are 4-5 lanes. Out here major highways range from 2-4.

I'm actually moving out of Boston in the next few months.

It helps to be a part of a community whether you play a sport or are in a social club (how about a reading group?)
There are some amazing people in this area. Thats why I've stayed here for 27 years.

Good Luck and maybe move to the suburbs where things are move a little slower.

Last edited by Northern1141; 12-16-2015 at 08:50 AM..
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Old 12-16-2015, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Ex-Bostonian in Woodstock, GA
684 posts, read 537,426 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMA View Post
Agreed. Even though Boston is good sized city, other than the college students I never find it that transient. Most of the younger professionals seemed to have grown up in Massachusetts or the New England area and already have their group of friends. I grew up in Central Massachusetts and it still is the same clicky people from high school that never made any new friends.

It just seems many in Boston are not interested in any more friends.
As a life long resident of the greater Boston area, I agree. Unfortunately, New Englanders tend to be mostly insular and introverted. Its definitely hard to make friends when people are simply not interested in doing so. And that goes for your "townie" types as well as the "successful young professionals".

My wife, child, and I are leaving as well and moving to the Atlanta area next spring. The South has its issues, don't get me wrong (rednecks, for example ) but every time we go down there to visit family, the vibe is much more different. People seem genuinely friendly. I've never seen so many people simply smile and say "hello" when making eye contact in the street. Thats a rarity around here. Life's too short to be surrounded by mean, miserable people!
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Old 12-16-2015, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
7,132 posts, read 10,876,245 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vtecluder617 View Post

My wife, child, and I are leaving as well and moving to the Atlanta area next spring. The South has its issues, don't get me wrong (rednecks, for example ) but every time we go down there to visit family, the vibe is much more different. People seem genuinely friendly. I've never seen so many people simply smile and say "hello" when making eye contact in the street. Thats a rarity around here. Life's too short to be surrounded by mean, miserable people!
You aren't going to encounter many "rednecks" in Atlanta.
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Old 12-16-2015, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Ex-Bostonian in Woodstock, GA
684 posts, read 537,426 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaseyB View Post
You aren't going to encounter many "rednecks" in Atlanta.
Well, not exactly right "in" Atlanta, but we're moving to a suburb about 30-35 miles northwest of the city. So we might end up with some
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Old 12-16-2015, 05:32 PM
 
2,232 posts, read 4,392,174 times
Reputation: 1479
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaseyB View Post
You aren't going to encounter many "rednecks" in Atlanta.
Correct. Some people think when you move south or are in a southern city that it is "rednecks" or "cowboys" (Texas), but it couldn't be further from the truth. You probably see more New Englanders in the southern states then you do anyone else. Try finding a native Floridian.
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Old 12-19-2015, 09:50 AM
 
260 posts, read 165,871 times
Reputation: 439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Off-beat View Post
New England and its people are amazing, and outsiders like you have to accept that or leave. We're definitely a couple levels above you and instead of accepting it and moving on with your lives, you only complain all the time. Perhaps texas is a better place for you?
Look at this. I think this in general shows the New England mindset. There are a few exceptions, people in Springfield, MA and Hartford, CT are much more laid back than the Boston area. I hate to say, but "how do I make friends here?" You don't.

All of the friends I have are people I met in college or have known for many years and none of them live in the city. It's very tight knit, and while the people here will ram "inclusiveness" down your throat if they get a chance, they have no desire to get to know you or include you in anything. I think the getting bitched at or "everyone is mean" is an exaggeration for sure. But if there's some magic friend making formula, I'd say most people don't know it, it's not just you.

OP, look at how people responded to you, most people just attacked you and said maybe you're the nasty one. Absolutely not. I've lived in other states (was born in Canada too) and there's a distinct nastiness here. An overall prevailing attitude of "I'm better than you" and people walking around like they have a potato chip in between their butt cheeks that they're trying not to break. Some of the old-timer Bostonians are very nice people, but the younger generation is very self absorbed- so much that people wouldn't notice a three-headed alien walking down the street.

I remember an instance where a guy dropped his wallet in CVS on Milk Street. I said "excuse me sir"- ignored me.

""Sir?!" - nothing. I know he heard me. So I then lightly tapped him on the shoulder and he recoiled as if in absolute disgust that anyone would dare touch him, then picks up his wallet. You can't change them, kill them with kindness and move when you can.
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