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Old 01-08-2016, 08:36 AM
 
260 posts, read 165,366 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mcginty74 View Post
I lived for 20 years in Boston, moved there when I was fresh out of college, and hands down the unfriendly culture was my biggest complaint when I finally left. That and the terrible weather.

A sad reality of life in Boston is that, after the age of 30, people's social networks are pretty much closed. As you noticed, no one is interested in opening their friend network to include you. This can make life very lonely.

People's social networks there are comprised of family, friends they grew up with or went to college with, coworkers, drinking buddies from their twenties who became friends, other parents if they are new parents, and that's about it.

Not only are people uninterested in meeting new friends, you are regarded as a bit off or crazy if you (GASP!) dare to actually make an overture of friendship to someone you've met and would like to see again. Asking a new person if they would like to hang out sometime will get you a polite "sure!" but rest assured you will probably never see them again. This is just how it's done there.

People can be polite with strangers, and even chat with them, but it's surface level only. You are expected to mind your boundaries and never mistake the other person as a potential friend.

The last six years I lived in the same small apartment building in Cambridge, and a young couple lived two floors down from me. I saw them in the building a number of times over the years, knew their names, but if I happened to run into them on the street, they would pretend they didn't see me. I don't think they ever once said hello or acknowledged my existence, even though I'd been their neighbor for years. I always thought this interaction was a wonderful illustration of Boston, and why I was so glad to leave.

I will say that this unfriendly culture is very particular to Boston and certain parts of the Northeast. Everywhere else I traveled during my two decades there, from the Pacific Northwest to San Diego to Texas to the Caribbean, seemed wonderfully friendly in comparison. I never did figure out what it is that makes Bostonians so unfriendly.
I agree with all of this. Although I'd say social networks close after 18. I'm 22, pushing 23 and I've lived in the immediate area for about a year (I lived in and went to school in Lowell for 2 years before that, but it doesn't count) and the only friends I have here are people I already knew. The rest of my friends are in my hometown of Springfield which they act like its a 3 day drive.

Springfield and western mass, I will say, is WAY friendlier than here and over the years I made new friends continuously. But I agree that Boston and most of New England (with the exception of Hartford CT) has a distinct nasty attitude. I lived in Montana, on the other side of the country, for a couple years when I was 12,13 and it was a different world. People are very friendly over there, women are forward and will actually talk to you if they like you, and everyone is very humble. You could have a friend who is filthy rich and you wouldn't know it until you went to their house for a sleepover.

Here, even cashiers will talk to you as though they're smarter and better than you. To answer that last part, I think that's what it is. People here believe that they're smarter than everyone else (77% of Suffolk county voted for Obama so I beg to differ) and that this is the center of the universe and the best place ever. Meanwhile people in the Midwest don't even know what "New England" is. This is the most liberal state and they're all about inclusiveness but yet most are stuck up? I don't get it. I've never seen such a large population of people who feel so entitled just by birthright.

And can someone tell me where the "like, oh my gawwwwd" valley girl accent comes from??? This is Massachusetts, not Beverly Hills
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Old 01-08-2016, 11:27 AM
 
32,836 posts, read 22,792,682 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iDothisoften View Post
Here, even cashiers will talk to you as though they're smarter and better than you. To answer that last part, I think that's what it is. People here believe that they're smarter than everyone else (77% of Suffolk county voted for Obama so I beg to differ) and that this is the center of the universe and the best place ever. Meanwhile people in the Midwest don't even know what "New England" is. This is the most liberal state and they're all about inclusiveness but yet most are stuck up? I don't get it. I've never seen such a large population of people who feel so entitled just by birthright.

Yeah, ok, so 23% are idiots. That's not that bad compared to the rest of the country.
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Old 01-08-2016, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Ex-Bostonian in Woodstock, GA
684 posts, read 534,866 times
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Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Yeah, ok, so 23% are idiots. That's not that bad compared to the rest of the country.

Lol nice. I see what you did there
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Old 01-08-2016, 11:46 AM
 
260 posts, read 165,366 times
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Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Yeah, ok, so 23% are idiots. That's not that bad compared to the rest of the country.
Hardy har har. Funny man here.
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Old 01-08-2016, 11:48 AM
 
32,836 posts, read 22,792,682 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iDothisoften View Post
Hardy har har. Funny man here.

I wasn't kidding.

I mean, I hated voting for Obama myself. But there weren't any real options. We had far right and center right. Great choices.
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Old 01-08-2016, 12:01 PM
 
260 posts, read 165,366 times
Reputation: 439
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I wasn't kidding.

I mean, I hated voting for Obama myself. But there weren't any real options. We had far right and center right. Great choices.
If this turns into a political debate, the thread will get closed. But right is right. I don't think liberalism has worked too well for Boston. Just take a look at the public schools. How does such an openly racist, segregated city vote so left? They are "tolerant" here because they feel like they have to keep up appearances. They're too good to admit they're as racist and bigoted as everyone else.

Who wants to be friends with people like that? If you're going to drop the big steaming sh*t on the rest of us, known as liberalism, then stand by your big steamy sh*t. everyone sees through the phoniness that is typical Boston NIMBY
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Old 01-08-2016, 12:08 PM
 
32,836 posts, read 22,792,682 times
Reputation: 29883
Quote:
Originally Posted by iDothisoften View Post
If this turns into a political debate, the thread will get closed. But right is right. I don't think liberalism has worked too well for Boston. Just take a look at the public schools. How does such an openly racist, segregated city vote so left? They are "tolerant" here because they feel like they have to keep up appearances. They're too good to admit they're as racist and bigoted as everyone else.

Who wants to be friends with people like that? If you're going to drop the big steaming sh*t on the rest of us, known as liberalism, then stand by your big steamy sh*t. everyone sees through the phoniness that is typical Boston NIMBY

You're right. Boston and Masschusetts is doing horribly. No one wants to live here, so the real estate market is in the tank. No jobs, the economy sucks. Massachusetts has horrible education. The health care system stinks too.

My favorite place to live was Wisconsin, sadly, with Scott Walker taking over the economy is in the tank, jobs are being lost, he's driven the state budget into the ground (that's fiscal conservatism in action), and every neighboring state is doing better. There is an incredibly brain drain from the state, mostly to Minnesota. My beloved state is doing everything azz backwards, the current far right administration is thinking cutting taxes (which they haven't really) and deregulation leads to growth, while Minnesota (I hate the gophers) wisely learned that investing in education and spending on infrastructure is what creates growth.
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Old 01-08-2016, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
7,120 posts, read 10,850,915 times
Reputation: 5637
Stay on topic, please.
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