Do you find Bostonians to be friendly-or cold people? (sales, living)

[June1]

I recently posted a question under the Philly section. I'm a single 44 y.o. woman from the NY/NJ tri-state area (I can strongly associate dealing with rude and snobby people). I'm trying to decide whether to move to Boston or Philly. However, after having read all of this, I think I'll move to Philly afterall.

Also, I don't understand why some people were so concerned about how women look in Boston. Is everyone supposed to look like the cover of "Cosmopolitan" there or something?

With regards to 2nd, 3rd generation Irish people in the US, I was in Ireland several years ago. I can guarantee you that if the same jolly Irish bus driver whose bus I was on in Ireland, got up while at a bus stop to belt out an old famous Irish tune, like he did while I was riding his bus, he would be immediately thought drunk or crazy. You really can't compare the two.

[nebulot]

Originally Posted by K-Luv

I can kick you the history of how the Irish came about in New England, if you like, but that's not my point. There are more Irish living outside of Ireland then those Irish who live in Ireland. Around the world they are just Irish, nothing more, nothing less. In America, though, the Irish have been elevated to some kinda cool, and take their Irish ancestary- no matter how many generations deep they are in America as some sort of badge of honor. The funny thing is that it is the rest of America who made it so. If you started punching some one in the face in Ireland-people would think that you were out of hand. In America, it is almost expected. "Oh don't mind that guy punching you in the face. He's just drunk, and Irish." "Oh ok, just tell him not to break my nose."

Now, I disagree with you! I'm Irish/English. My fathers side came from Ireland in the 1800's.

Do you think? just possibly that statements made like these on this board are why, "people" may not get along?? Then, I guess none will get along anywhere as long as there are stereotypical people like you (s)! And,

I agreed with you K-Luv on the last post, (Everett)! I'm glad I don't have the problem you have! You know-the left hand doesn't know what the right hand did?? No wonder your alone and probably have or will get punched in the face! and, it looks like not one Irishman sticks up for you! Does it??

By the way! My mothers side is English, came over here in the late 1600's. From both sides of our family, we were not brought up like this! Even way back then. I'm proud of my heritage and think everyone should be proud of theirs!

Now, what's your excuse for??

[mj103]

I just got home from a trip to Boston (to find an apartment) and was pleasantly surprised by the general helpfulness and friendliness of the Boston people. We asked for directions many times given the insanity that is the Boston transportation grid (what were the founders of that city putting in their tea?) and had some very good conversations with people about the area we ended up finding an apartment.

If you're looking for meaningless conversation with people in a variety of public settings (i.e. the train, the bus, the line at the store), you're right. Boston probably isn't the place for you. I, however, find it refreshing to not have to spill your life story to someone just because you're checking your mailbox at the same time or because they bumped you on the train. However, as I said, if you need genuine help or have something meaningful to contribute (not "Man, it's cold today" to the stranger at the bus stop in the middle of January), I found Bostonians to be perfectly friendly.

[njsocks]

Originally Posted by Snallygaster

I'm a Boston native, but have lived everywhere-NH, CT, TX, MI, IL, CA, Canada and Australia- So I've been able to live with non-New Englanders, and see Boston from an outsiders perspective.
The friendliest people Ive been were probrolly the ones in Minnesota...
As for Massachsetts-Boston in particular do you find the people there friendly? I don't.
Are Bostonians as rude as New Yorkers? Yes-but both cities have their own unique brand of rudeness. But to the credit of New Yorkers-go to Brooklyn or the Village- you'll find a comminity where people talk to each other- Boston is a less social city..
Boston is one of those places where it is concidered inappropriate to say hello to strangers-try it sometime, say hi to someone-they'll look at you as if you've violated them.....
I moved to an Apt in Jamaica Plain, right outside of Boston, and I moved to a 3 level house- I introduced myself to a neighbor and thought I had a nice connversation-my roomate later told me she thought I must have come on to her-I wan't, I wast just saying hi!
The night scene in Boston is very hard to break into-its very clickish-
All of my friends, and even my girlfriend are in other states...
The people here suck-and as a MA native, I find I'm a much better person when I'm as far away from Boston as possible...
My brother moved to Kentucky and is shiocked how people there are so friendly, compared to the local population.

To Boston's credit, it has some of the finest museums, schools and hospitals on earth-just the local populatuion are as warm as horsehoe crabs....
If I have kids-I'm leaving MA-If I have kids, I don't want to raise them in a place that teaches people its okay to ignore your neighbors and treat your fellow human like dirt. I prefer a place where neighbors treat each other like human beings...It's odd, friendly people from other parts of the country change once they settle in MA-they become cold and aloof. I have a friend from Houston who was all smiles and positive-since moving here, she does nothing but scowl..
Minnesota here I come..

I lived there for a while and loathed it lol........Not for me either. It isn't a friendly town........nor the towns surrounding it. Hospitals, schools,colleges are good but people suck there at times! I am glad I am gone. Only reason I went there is because my husband had a decent job there. Thankfully, we moved out of state since.

[njsocks]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

i love boston but i noticed 2 groups of people

one so very smart i could barely understand what they were saying when they walked down the sidewalk talking to each other.

two - got a leather jacket and hockey skates slung over his back talked and acted just like the fonz.

thats it.

lmao!!

[njsocks]

Originally Posted by LeavingMA

I've visited many cities throughout the U.S., basically every median to large city on the East Coast, the major ones in Texas and California and I will say Boston is the most difficult to get any conversation at all. People do not like eye contact or like to take the time for simple talk.

I think once you get to know most people regardless of where they are located, most are nice people, but Boston people do not go out of their way to make friends or make you feel involved. Once they have a few friends, they don't let people in their circle very easily. From living in MA and visiting Boston more than any other medium to major city I've met fewer people out in Boston than anywhere else. I've made friends and kept in close touch with people in D.C., and cities in Texas, but never in Boston. Even when getting introduced to people from friends people in and around Boston don't really care too much about adding friends.

I prefer people to at least make eye contact and a simple "hey, how are you" I think that is just friendly. I think people in Boston tend to be less patient and more uptight in general. It just appears that many other cities are more relaxed. I don't expect people to tell me their whole life story (I have yet to experience this), but it would be nice for a short casual conversation without getting a "why are you talking to me" look. In Texas when I was at a bar I've had people sitting at the bar help get the bartenders attention and order the drink for me. I thought that was very considerate. Little things like that make you feel welcome and more enjoyable.

I always thought the cold weather didn't help, it appears most people in Boston are in a better mood during the summer months, but overall they are still cold and standoffish. I also think because Boston doesn't have a lot of people from outside New England, it doesn't become a melting pot. Go to other cities and you will meet people from all over the country. You don't see this as common in the Boston area. I have friends in Boston who never really met or knew the people they lived next in apartments.

I don't really think people are fake-friendly just because they make conversation with you like some people do in the south. I don't consider people rude up north because they are busy and sometimes don't have time to talk or are not in the mood, but I would like to see some eye contact or a "hi" would be nice and give a sense of comfort. I've had friends in the north who stabbed me in the back after telling me how good a friend I was and meant a lot to them...so the whole "friends in the north are forever" doesn't always apply either.

Snallygaster...I agree with what you said. I also find I'm more open when I'm in other places where people are relaxed and actually interested in a friendly chat and sometimes getting to know people.

I totally agree with you!!

[Lulu101]

Wave to strangers when you drive by? That sounds utterly bizarre.

Originally Posted by applejuice

I have had the pleasure of visiting Boston every summer for the last 10yrs since my husbands family lives there .

I don't consider Boston a very warm and fuzzy place. It also seems a little snobby (or maybe it has to do with where my hubby family lives)

He is constantly driving me crazy about moving there and I have told him I will move there when hell freezes over

I think it is a great place to visit, but it is not for me. I love the south...where I can afford to buy a home, not freeze to death, and people actually wave as you drive by.

It is a constant battle between hubby and I...but I am not MOVING!!!

[jbub22]

Yes, I like to hear hello and have the door held open for me. In the south, people are very friendly then at the sametime they're quick to critique and voice their opinion when in reality it's none of their business. Southerners are very nosy and believe me afterwhile that gets old. Northerners are cold and unfriendly. Both regions have their negatives and positives but right now I like the idea of people staying out of my business.

[dem3456]

For me, I actually LIKE the fact that we can be cold and unfriendly. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

[hwynym]

My brother is a MA native and lives in San Francisco. He hates the "conditional" friendship that seems to be the norm there. He says that he can have "skydiving friends" or "theater group friends" or friends that are based around some common activity or interest. But he says that everybody is "busy" if you ask them to help you move or something like that.

In Boston, people can definitely be more aloof. If you look at the history of the place, it's not hard to figure out where that culture came from. It was founded by Puritans who discouraged bright colors, music and general happiness - (Just remember what happened to Roger Williams and his fellow hedonists, just for dancing around the Maypole!).

Then waves of clannish Irish country folk hit the state and they didn't trust anyone who wasn't in the immediate family - and they had good reason for that, having just dealt with the British.

I was raised to never "air the family's dirty laundry" with strangers and not trust strangers.

As a result, if someone walks up to me and acts all friendly, the first thing I'm going to think is: "OK, what are they trying to sell me?" This same attitude was starkly evident in Charlestown, up through the '70's. There was a "code" and nobody talked to anyone who wasn't a "Townie" about anything going on in the neighborhood.

BUT - while it is harder to MAKE friends here, once you do - you've usually got a friend for life.

Or, for a new take on an old saying - A friend from NYC may help you move, but a friend from Boston will help you move a body!