Do you find Bostonians to be friendly-or cold people? (fit in, promotional)

[ConceivedinKY51]

Originally Posted by texdav

When I visted boston and often got lost ;people were not very helpful. But every once in a while one would see you were lost and they always started out by saying "people here are so rude";do you need help finding something. It was pretty obvious since I was holding a map. I also noticed that people don't make eye contract and the sales people often acted like you were bothering them. I ate at a reastaurant and got to know a waitress pertty well and she just said people are just kind of defensive.

VERY defensive. Boston is not a pleasant place.

[ConceivedinKY51]

Originally Posted by LeavingMA

I've visited many cities throughout the U.S., basically every median to large city on the East Coast, the major ones in Texas and California and I will say Boston is the most difficult to get any conversation at all. People do not like eye contact or like to take the time for simple talk.

I think once you get to know most people regardless of where they are located, most are nice people, but Boston people do not go out of their way to make friends or make you feel involved. Once they have a few friends, they don't let people in their circle very easily. From living in MA and visiting Boston more than any other medium to major city I've met fewer people out in Boston than anywhere else. I've made friends and kept in close touch with people in D.C., and cities in Texas, but never in Boston. Even when getting introduced to people from friends people in and around Boston don't really care too much about adding friends.

I prefer people to at least make eye contact and a simple "hey, how are you" I think that is just friendly. I think people in Boston tend to be less patient and more uptight in general. It just appears that many other cities are more relaxed. I don't expect people to tell me their whole life story (I have yet to experience this), but it would be nice for a short casual conversation without getting a "why are you talking to me" look. In Texas when I was at a bar I've had people sitting at the bar help get the bartenders attention and order the drink for me. I thought that was very considerate. Little things like that make you feel welcome and more enjoyable.

I always thought the cold weather didn't help, it appears most people in Boston are in a better mood during the summer months, but overall they are still cold and standoffish. I also think because Boston doesn't have a lot of people from outside New England, it doesn't become a melting pot. Go to other cities and you will meet people from all over the country. You don't see this as common in the Boston area. I have friends in Boston who never really met or knew the people they lived next in apartments.

I don't really think people are fake-friendly just because they make conversation with you like some people do in the south. I don't consider people rude up north because they are busy and sometimes don't have time to talk or are not in the mood, but I would like to see some eye contact or a "hi" would be nice and give a sense of comfort. I've had friends in the north who stabbed me in the back after telling me how good a friend I was and meant a lot to them...so the whole "friends in the north are forever" doesn't always apply either.

Snallygaster...I agree with what you said. I also find I'm more open when I'm in other places where people are relaxed and actually interested in a friendly chat and sometimes getting to know people.

TOTALLY agree with you!! I've been here for more than six years and I think that's enough penance. Moving soon and SO happy!!

[ConceivedinKY51]

Originally Posted by renaejrf

It amazes me how many people I see talking horribly about Boston on the internet but since my husband have been considering moving to Boston, everyone I mention it to has all wonderful things to say about Boston. What's the deal??? Most of the people that tell me it's great are visitors....could that be the issue?

I think that may be a big reason for people saying it's "great." I thought it was a friendly place when I visited for a short period of time but found it to be the opposite once I moved here. I, officially, gave up reaching out to people and trying to make friends more than a year ago. I've NEVER felt so emotionally "flattened" by people in my life and I've lived in many different cities.

[ConceivedinKY51]

Originally Posted by CoolestCouple

Yikes... my husband and I are moving to Boston within the next couple months (from So Cal) and I'm so afraid we won't make any friends!! All I hear/read is how standoffish Bostonians are and how hard it is to make friends...

DON'T DO IT!!! I lived in Southern California for 12 years and NEVER had trouble making friends!! But it's been BRUTAL for me friend-wise (or should I say "friendless" wise...). DON'T DO IT!!!

[ConceivedinKY51]

Originally Posted by willdufauve

I'm glad it's working out good for you and your kids.

One thing to understand about Bostonians and New Englanders is a lot of people like to cultivate that crusty, aloof, taciturn self-image and don't want to give it up for mere niceness. Niceness is for the midwest.

"Niceness" is for human beings, our "neighbors". Or SHOULD be, anyway.

[ConceivedinKY51]

Originally Posted by dem3456

For me, I actually LIKE the fact that we can be cold and unfriendly. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

WHY would you like being "cold and unfriendly?" What in the world...

[ConceivedinKY51]

Originally Posted by JoeyDC

Couldn't have said it better myself

I'm warm and friendly and open and have no desire to "when in Rome do as the Romans do." One thing I've fought for in the six years I've lived here is NOT to become like a Bostonian emotionally. I've REFUSED to let this place turn me into them.

[JHG722]

I'm a lifelong Sox fan, but I find Bostonians to be extremely, extremely cold and at times downright rude.

[TomDot]

Originally Posted by ConceivedinKY51

I'm warm and friendly and open and have no desire to "when in Rome do as the Romans do." One thing I've fought for in the six years I've lived here is NOT to become like a Bostonian emotionally. I've REFUSED to let this place turn me into them.

LOL!!!
Do you realize that you have just passive/aggressively insulted about 4 million people? You sound like the heroine in a science fiction movie.
My wife moved here from Michigan 14 years ago and she has just as many friends as I do, which is a lot.
The problem is yours.

[boston mark]

Originally Posted by ConceivedinKY51

DON'T DO IT!!! I lived in Southern California for 12 years and NEVER had trouble making friends!! But it's been BRUTAL for me friend-wise (or should I say "friendless" wise...). DON'T DO IT!!!

Really? 8 consecutive posts speaking negatively about us Bostonians, and you wonder why have difficulty making friends here? Get a grip. Perhaps it's this negative attitude of yours? I think a little self evaluation might do you some good.