Do you find Bostonians to be friendly-or cold people? (vs, garden)

[JHG722]

If that's funny, so be it. I've been around the world enough, and nowhere else have I been cursed off by a jogger...

[boston mark]

Originally Posted by JHG722

If that's funny, so be it. I've been around the world enough, and nowhere else have I been cursed off by a jogger...

LOL. Now THATS funny. I love Boston.

[sarahf79]

Wow. All this talk of cold, aloof, takes forever for people to warm up to you, etc...sounds EXACTLY like Seattle. I am so thankful for this website because these posts have pretty much made the decision for me...perhaps Boston is not like that at all, but in my estimation about 75% of the posts here concur that it is....I will not take a chance on moving to Boston because I dealt with extreme cold, aloof, indifferent, taking-a-million-years-to-make-friends people in Seattle for 6 years and refuse to do it again. No matter how great the universities are in Mass....and they really are...I'll have to pass But I wouldn't mind visiting and seeing all the culture and history! I bet that part is amazing.

[Jeffinthecity]

I've always loved a thread with lots of drama - thanks, Boston!

[lrfox]

Is there really 14 pages of this crap? If you're a down-to-earth, outgoing person, you'll be fine. If you're closed off, quiet and reserved, you'll have a hard time meeting people.

There's over 5,000,000 people in the Boston area. With a number that large, you're going to have a wide array of people. Some cold, some warm, some racist, some ultra liberal, some ultra conservative, etc, etc, etc. It's a diverse place. If you put any effort in, you'll make friends and find that people can be really outgoing. No effort, no friends. It's a very real place in that sense. I'd rather have it that way then be somewhere where everyone greets you with a hello, but that's the extent of the relationship. You'll find that once you make friends here, your relationship will have more depth than you've ever experienced. If you're looking for shallow, superficial relationships, then no, Boston is not for you.

[pnoozi]

Yea, Boston natives can be pretty cold sometimes. However, there are really two Bostons. There are the natives, who are usually the cold ones, and the students, who are usually young, friendly and amiable, due to the fact that most students are from other parts of the country.

Boston is a lot like urban New York in terms of the people. Coming from Long Island, I've experienced both of these worlds. In suburban Long Island, everyone is friendly as can be. However, as you move into the more semi-urban parts of the Island, things can get less friendly. Also, the traffic in Boston is the worst. It's by far the worst I've ever seen anywhere, and this is coming from someone who has witnessed traffic on the Long Island Expressway.

Driving is where New York City and Boston are opposites. New York City drivers are some of the most talented in the world. The make weaving in and out of swaths of cabs, pedestrians and narrow lanes look easy as pie. Boston is another story. First of all, the streets are laid out in the most retarded fashion I have ever seen. It seems like every single street is one-way. The streets have traditional names, unlike New York, where the streets are two-way, have numbers and are gridded. Combine this with the fact that Boston drivers will cut you off at any cost, drive way too fast and are just terrible drivers in general, and you have a traffic nightmare. Pedestrians beware. Look both ways twice.

For example, in Boston, I was in Subway, and the manager who was ringing me up was all rude to me because I didn't tell him the "flavor" sandwich I ordered (how a "Spicy Italian" sub is a flavor, I don't know, but that's a conversation for another time) right when I went to the counter. He sort of got pissed off like he was in a super-hurry and said something pointed to me (I forget exactly what it was). I felt like chucking the sandwich back at him over the counter and saying "I'm not paying for this, learn how to treat your customers with respect," but I was really hungry (heh).

So yea. Northeastern cities are not friendly at all. However, not all of us are **** bags. I try to treat people with respect and try to have a sense of humor.

[lrfox]

^I've told many people that while many times New York City drivers and Boston Drivers are lumped together, they really are a lot different. I've also said that I personally feel that New York Drivers are the best in the country. They have driving in large volumes of traffic down to a science.

I was driving in Manhattan last year and I was amazed at how people merged from the 5 or 6 lanes down to 2 to get into the Holland Tunnel during rush hour. I've also been amazed at the the near choreographed merges, lane changes, and other facets of every day urban driving that occur regularly in NYC. there's no such thing as tailgating there; people follow within inches of the car in front of them, but with no mal-intent and with a degree of precision and care found nowhere else.

Not so in Boston. The drivers (for the most part) are equally as fast, but it seems unorganized, deliberately rude, and almost chaotic.

I would not send a warning to the pedestrians in Boston though. In fact, I would warn the drivers about them. The pedestrians disregard signals and stop the flow of traffic to cross the streets. They will leave cars blocking intersections to cross the street with complete disregard for automotive operators. In New York, this isn't the case. Pedestrians are fully aware of cars in traffic and act accordingly. For example, in October, I was driving on Canal (the NYC Canal St.) street and had to make a left turn... I started the turn and an a sea of pedestrians cleared out of my way (I felt like Moses) to let me pass. Had they not done so, I would be holding traffic on my side of Canal, or if I moved forward, Blocked oncoming traffic. The awareness and courtesy displayed by NYC's pedestrians was incredible and I have a hard time finding it in Boston.

I do disagree with your disproval of the street grid in Boston. I think one thing that makes Boston so unique is the historical grid. Most U.S. cities have boring, generic square grids. Boston's is truly a pedestrians paradise (much like many old European cities) which is why it's frequently ranked one of the top places to walk in the nation. Combining that with the ease of access to mass-transit, there's rarely ever a reason to drive in Boston which, IMHO, negates most arguments about how it is a pain to drive in Boston (which it is). If you don't know your way around, or don't want to drive in Boston, you don't have to and that's one of the things that makes me love this town. If you're the type of person who wants to depend on their car to get them everywhere in the city, don't come to Boston. Much like some of the greatest cities in the world (See: London, Paris, Rome, Madrid, Tokyo, etc), Boston is better suited for those who enjoy walking and taking advantage of mass-transit. New York is a hybrid... great mass transit, pedestrian friendly, and also not too difficult to drive in (though I'd still rather leave my car and split my time on mass-transit and on foot), so further comparison is tough.

I also disagree about there being, "two Bostons," college kids and locals. You make it sound like college kids are great and locals are terrible. Many times it's the opposite. How many times have you tried to squeeze onto a crowded B-Line train only to find that much of the space in the middle of the car is open because the college kids don't push all the way in? Or how many times have you had to walk by or sit next drunk, beligerant students? While many are kind, many others have a complete disregard and lack of understanding of how to live in a TRULY urban environment (of which there aren't many in the U.S.). The locals at least know this... they obey unspoken courtesies (i.e. moving to the center of a subway car, standing to the right on an escalator so people in a hurry can pass, etc) that many, if not most, college kids don't comprehend. I've also seen plenty of true Bostonians be more outgoing, and GENUINE than I have in other parts of the country. It's all in how you look at things and Boston is real (which can mean being brutally honest and expressive to your face), if you don't want real, you don't want Boston.

[Geography Freak]

Originally Posted by pnoozi

Driving is where New York City and Boston are opposites. New York City drivers are some of the most talented in the world. The make weaving in and out of swaths of cabs, pedestrians and narrow lanes look easy as pie. Boston is another story. First of all, the streets are laid out in the most retarded fashion I have ever seen. It seems like every single street is one-way. The streets have traditional names, unlike New York, where the streets are two-way, have numbers and are gridded.

The good thing about Boston's layout is the natural selection: people who are too dim to drive anywhere but on a perfect,two-way, wide-street grid are too scared to get behind the wheel, so they stay out of the road.

I'll say tp you what I said to someone other thread who had the same thing to say about London: maybe you should consider relocating to Provo, UT.

[hwynym]

Originally Posted by ConceivedinKY51

One thing I've fought for in the six years I've lived here is NOT to become like a Bostonian emotionally. I've REFUSED to let this place turn me into them.

I think that's the problem with everybody who is complaining about not being able to make friends. They refuse to adapt to their environment.

If you want to act like you're in the society of Southern California still, then it's no wonder that people aren't responding to you in Boston. You refuse to accept the culture of the people you're "reaching out to" and then you wonder why they refuse to accept you. Get a clue.

The natives have no problem making the friends they want to have. I will say that we seldom have large groups of acquaintances that we call "friends", as other parts of the country do. We have a small number of very good, high-quality friends who we know and trust. If you want into that kind of circle, it takes more than attending a few parties to get there. It takes a blood oath and your firstborn. OK, forget your firstborn. But only because we don't want to get stuck with the college tuition.

How open and friendly would people in the South be to someone who disparages their culture and blamed an inability to make friends on society at large instead of taking personal responsibility?

With your attitude, I'm not surprised at all at your failure to make "friends".

[guest187]

I've been in Boston most of my life and have traveled and I agree with the other people that Boston is a cold city. Most of the people are snobby, racist and very materialistic. I went down south to South Carolina for vacation and I was amazed of friendly and nice people are. Due to the company that I have in this city I have too many obligations to move but eventually I will get out of this cold city.