Do you find Bostonians to be friendly-or cold people? (Cambridge: house, neighborhood)

[Greatwoods]

I definetely agree about the sitting at a green light thing. I was raised in Boston and now live in the midwest and that drives me crazy. However people here don't double park or block the right lane to make a left turn which is nice too. I think it just depends on the people. Some small towns in the midwest are outright rude to outsiders. Some are very friendly. In Boston the coldest people I met were usually from brookline or newton, west cambridge etc. Most people who I knew who grew up in more middle class areas were very friendly except of course the ones who always want to fight you that we all have met.
The women, though, I have to say are much hotter and friendlier in the midwest and way more down to earth.

[Bostonian08]

Originally Posted by bwatkin5

Well why can't the people here be smart enough to not honk at cars that have no ability to move anywhere?

Also, as an update to the Boston women.

Thank you about the Honking. In NYC they were smart enough to put up "DON'T HONK - $350 FINE" signs. And guess what? NYC is now quieter than Tremont St.

People blasting their horns are seriously rude, ignorant, and dangerous. Children are sleeping in the houses along the neighborhood streets that these F-heads from the burbs think are their raceways.

And yeah, the women around here are pretty freakish. I see more women fist fighting than guys. Clearly suffering from sexless anxiety.

[LeavingMA]

Originally Posted by trionetriathlon

Note to the folks who think Boston women are "ugly," etc, etc. Please remember that women really do not feel safe any more no matter where they go! Take a moment, if you will, to do a search on women who have been raped, beaten, etc after a night at a club. Also, if you think they are being rude, could it be that you may need a new approach? Boston is an area filled with very intellegent career minded women who may be out at a bar to enjoy being with friends after work. If you are interested in a woman, there are ways to be successful. Try an opening having to do with politics, medicine, business, etc. Remember that most women like men who have a brain and are attracted to that first! If you sound sincere, look kind and are a true gentleman, you will have a plethora of women to date! Seriously! Try it! Also, stay away from groups of women...they are dangerous...usually they are there to be with their friends and not to meet a guy!!! Good luck!!

This had nothing to do with going out to bars/clubs and picking up women. Just in general, women in Boston compared to other cities are more cold, snobby, more uptight, and do not appear as attractive.

I don't understand why women would be scared if they are somewhere public where there are lots of people. If they are in a neighborhood by themselves, I can see them being cautious of other guys, but if your out and about in public then what is the big deal. Even at people's parties you get invited to, many women in Boston are difficult to deal with. Women here aren't necessarily smarter than any other cities I've been to...may be their problem is they think they are. It just seems like women in cities in the northeast don't always have their act together. They are trying to balance a job, social life, school, etc., and they don't come across as patient and kind. Most of the girls my friends and I have had success with in or around Boston are usually from outside of New England or Massachusetts.

Just ask anyone who has gone to other cities and dealt with women there how they are more relaxed, laid-back, civil, attractive, and they appear more confident in who they are.

[McPhee7]

Originally Posted by HeadedWest

Actually, that is a pretty good working definition of unfriendly.

I would have to agree with that statement.

[scorp200]

I've never met a Bostonian (well, former Bostonian) I didn't like. Most of the people I've met from Boston had moved elsewhere - I dunno if that's a factor - but I find without fail that people from Boston are very rich in personality and experiences, funny, wicked smart (yep I've been using wicked since childhood...meant to live there, I say), witty as hell.

I'm living in the south now - give me someone from Boston ANY day. I'm from NJ originally so I like the directness.

[andrea_cat]

Wow, what a discussion!

I'm a Boston girl who has lived in the UK and now lives in Denver. Here's what I think: people out here in the Rockies are very polite and friendly, but they don't want anything to do with you beyond that.

I learned very soon that just because someone was very friendly with me didn't mean they wanted to know anything about me or become my friend. I've lived in Denver for five years now and all the friends I've made are from elsewhere originally. Yes, Denver is a very transient place, therefore there's a lot of people from elsewhere, but the CO natives I tried to befriend would never reciprocate. They've got their circle -- you stay out.

In Boston, it's true, people are rude, for sure. But if someone is friendly with you and if they invite you to do something or open up a dialogue with you, it's because they generally like you and want to befriend you. You'll ALWAYS know where you stand with a Bostonian -- there's no guessing. I hate feeling like I'm not sure whether I should REALLY email a person or not after they've given me their email. In Boston, if someone gives you their email, they are serious about wanting to get to know you.

Just my couple cents' worth. We should all realize, of course, that this is a very subjective matter, of course! Depending on one's own mood and outook, one's perspective can be entirely different, as we've seen here.

[msaRick]

I am moving to Boston for a job in January. I am in Florida right now and people down here are pretty friendly and easy to meet.

On one hand I am excited to move to a place where people are more direct and won't bother me with chatter I could care less about. My friends describe me as aloof, synacal, sarcastic, cocky, sometimes borderline arrogant when the mood strikes me. (also funny and genuinly nice underneath) Some of my best friends have told me that when we first met, they thought I didn't like them. Being from the south I find I still greet strangers, although I don't usaully care to conversate further (no I don't want to see pictures of your kids, woman in the grocery line). This could all stem from being primarily raised by my mother who was raised in Paris. So, I'm thinking I'll appreciate the characteristics that everyone is describing.

On the other hand, I will know absolutely no one when I arrive in Boston. Will it be impossible to meet others? Will people think I'm crazy if I smile at strangers?

[HurrMark]

I am from New York originally and have lived in the Boston area for a little over two years. As a New Yorker, I grew up with a certain standard, so it is really hard to judge...at least compared to the rest of the country. I think Bostonians are polite, but they won't really go out of their way to get to know you. They will hold the door for you, they will let you know if you dropped something, etc., but there is little verbal communication. I guess this is similar to most big cities...people are always in a rush, very busy, and don't really want to smell the roses. There is also a strong sense of superficiality. I really am not a big fan of that way of life, but that's how it is around here. And sadly, I think the younger the people are (and there are a LOT of young people) and the more educated they are, the more acute this phenomenon is. People from working class backgrounds tend to be much more pleasant to talk to...not as abrasive.

[bwatkin5]

Originally Posted by trionetriathlon

Let's see here... do you think your fiance might have some issues? Getting in to two rows with strange women might set off some alarms for me! Also, you seem so unhappy here and yet you are in the real estate business trying to get people to buy/rent property. Do you think you are really a good representative for this area? Maybe you and your fiance might be happier in a smaller town? Sounds like you have been having some pretty awful experiences and I do not blame you for feeling angry. Sometimes this goes with being new to an area, as well. Lots of adjustments to be made. Hang in there, because Boston is really an incredible place to live in. Try heading to some fun places this weekend, like the flower show maybe. If someone is rude, just laugh it off! Best to you-

Actually, I enjoy the area for the most part. Also, I am working with rentals mostly. I became an agent because of how my agent was to me. I'm not doing buyers unless someone comes to me. I don't feel I can provide the additional time and service a seller would require, so I'm not going to waste their time, especially in this market. My agent did nothing for me and totally screwed us over. I refuse to be like that with anyone I help. He wouldn't even find out stuff I was asking when we were trying to buy our house. I would love to help a buyer though because I love looking for property and viewing houses. I'd totally enjoy helping someone find the home they want.

People tend to butt into other people's business here and like to pick fights for no reason. Me and my fiancee mind our own business, but people like to start trouble here in general. Some guy at the park was lecturing me about how to treat my dog because I pulled him back to keep a dog from biting ours. He wanted to fight me because I made it clear it wasn't his business because it wasn't. People seem to practically stand on top of you and walk on your heels instead of being decent and walking around you or backing off. Also, "excuse me" is a phrase that does exist. Dont stand there and look at me expecting me to move for you. Dont shove your way in to get something when I am looking at something myself. I really dont care how important you think you are because it doesn't give you the right to talk down to me or disrespect me.

Also, what is the deal with people walking and biking? This isn't just a Boston thing (it does happen here constantly though), it is a 20 year old thing everywhere. When exactly did people loose the common sense to know that a 2000 lb car is bigger than you and that you dont just walk/ride into an intersection or crosswalk? You are not invincible, but the car essentially is. Getting hit by a car is going to leave at least a scratch. Your little 150 lb body isn't even going to scratch the paint on the car though. Also, pedestrians do NOT always the right of way. The motorist will not always be found at fault for hitting you. Don't step into the street when someone is coming at the intersection and turning. Don't walk in front of a car when they are making a left turn when cars are constantly coming. Have the decency to let people make their turn when they only have the one chance. I was taught to look both ways when crossing and to move when on a bike. Get out of the lanes bikers. You doing your little peddling are not going to outrace a car. Scoot over and let the cars by. Your bell isn't going to ding much when it gets smashed by a car. I'm sorry I just find it flat out rude and ignorant to just walk into the road as if you rule the world and that everyone should have to stop for you. And yes, I do watch when I cross, so I do follow what I preach. My parents taught me a car would hurt if it hit you.

Anyway, we like large towns and cities. She grew up close to LA, so size isn't a shock. I love Medford and nobody can beat the food you can get around here. We're totally looking forward to the summer and exploring the Cape and doing whatever else we can. I know there are tons of things to do here. I just think some people need to be a little more responsible and act like grown-ups. Being ignorant and getting killed by being stupid isn't going to prove anything.

[MovingForward]

Originally Posted by LeavingMA

This had nothing to do with going out to bars/clubs and picking up women. Just in general, women in Boston compared to other cities are more cold, snobby, more uptight, and do not appear as attractive.

I don't understand why women would be scared if they are somewhere public where there are lots of people. If they are in a neighborhood by themselves, I can see them being cautious of other guys, but if your out and about in public then what is the big deal. Even at people's parties you get invited to, many women in Boston are difficult to deal with. Women here aren't necessarily smarter than any other cities I've been to...may be their problem is they think they are. It just seems like women in cities in the northeast don't always have their act together. They are trying to balance a job, social life, school, etc., and they don't come across as patient and kind. Most of the girls my friends and I have had success with in or around Boston are usually from outside of New England or Massachusetts.

Just ask anyone who has gone to other cities and dealt with women there how they are more relaxed, laid-back, civil, attractive, and they appear more confident in who they are.

I don't see any reason for sexist commentary on how attractive women in Boston either are or are not. You sound like you have a problem with women, in general.