Do you find Bostonians to be friendly-or cold people? (Florida: home, weddings)

[Martha Anne]

Originally Posted by internat

That's funny considering many Bostonians are of Irish descent. Irish-American is not the same as Irish from Ireland. Nonetheless, I didn't get quite that impression in Ireland although it was clear how they got greedy with all the new money. Because of the Catholic background they appear warmer hearted than Scandinavians or Englishmen. But I suppose they aren't particularly warm compared to more southern people where extended family is important. Have you thought if climate might influence friendliness?

I think directness can be good. That way you know where you have people. Germans are known for that in Europe. In some cultures (Japanese?) it can appear impolite.

Re: Other people being perhaps more warm with "southern people" where the extended family is important (or so you say):

I went out with a guy who was born, raised and educated in one of the major islands in Italy. He came here in his 20s to do graduate work and left after 8 years to take a lifetime appointment in a university in Italy.

I went out with him for all of those eight years he lived here. (Now I am happily married to an American.)

Here is what he told me. He said it over and over. And he had lived in The Netherlands for one year, also:

He said that Italians are actually the coldest people in Europe. They do not, as a rule, extend the amount of personal sacrifice, money and help to people in need in other countries than do the so-called "cold" Germans and the Irish. They are not as willing to make you feel at home when you go to their homes as a guest. They expect you to conform to their family ways, to act real nice and careful about yourself. He told me this. This is not what I said, it is what he said, many a time. He told me that when my Irish American relatives invited him to dinner, they fell over themselves to make sure he was getting treated well, got a meal HE liked, that HE was comfortable, etc. He said that the Italians do just the opposite. They are less acomodating, he said. You are supposed to get all excited about the great meal they have served you, whereas, he said, the Irish Americans are so worried that maybe the meal is not good enough, etc. He said that the Irish Americans are more humble when you visit, and the Italians expect you to be grateful. He said the Irish act so lucky to have you as a guest and the Italians expect the guest to be the one to feel lucky!

The Irish live in the North, the Italians, who are supposed to be all warm because of their family closeness, are supposed to be warm, live in the warm climate. I have found that Italians, whether they are in Italy (which I visited when I went to see him), or in America, still have this tendency to be closed. They build a "fort" around themselves. I think it has to do with the multi-state history, up to only 100 years ago, in Italy, where outsiders could not be trusted. I actually love so many things about Italian culture, but I do not consider them to be so warm.

So, it depends upon what one means by "cold" New Englanders.

[internat]

I got a negative reputation by someone sensitive who was offended thinking I was blaming the Irish for being rude. What a misunderstanding.

With respect of being different people the same can be said of many hyphenated Americans. "Completely different" sounds like an exaggeration.

I don't think it's cool being of any ethnicity. Nation-states are artificial creations.

Originally Posted by K-Luv

Finally! Yes! Someone else realizes this! Irish-Americans and Irish Irish are two different people. Completely different. America is the only country in which being Irish is considered cool.

[afewyearsinboston]

I just got back from Boston this past Sunday. Based on my experience I'd say overall people were pretty friendly but like most places in the country, it depends what area you're in, time of day, weather, who you run into, what mood they are in, etc.

I traveled with my wife, 1yr old, and mom. None of us had any problems, the only "negative" experience we had was in brookline village where we had to wait about 20 minutes for a bus to come since the green line wasn't working due to construction. When the bus came, people who weren't even waiting at the stop long rushed themselves into the bus ahead of everyone else leaving us (and other passengers) out in the cold with a baby to wait for the next bus since it was now full. Not a big deal but slightly annoying.

Other than that, we found people in Coolidge Corner, Back Bay, Beacon Hill, Cambridge to be friendly. A couple strangers on the street were helpful with directions, and as we were walking around neighborhoods several people would say hello and smile while passing, and a few people on the T offered their seat to my wife or I as we carried the baby. We found these people to be VERY nice and really appreciated that.

[renaejrf]

It amazes me how many people I see talking horribly about Boston on the internet but since my husband have been considering moving to Boston, everyone I mention it to has all wonderful things to say about Boston. What's the deal??? Most of the people that tell me it's great are visitors....could that be the issue?

[smarty]

Grass is always greener on the other side...

Aside high cost of living and housing... most people are happy

[willdufauve]

New Englanders are aloof and taciturn. It's not just the Boston Irish.

Boston is not a friendly city,true enough. There's a strong entrenched racism even still, and neighborhood territoriality.

Western Mass is far worse both for racism and unfriendliness. Very back woods redneck, except for the Amherst-Northampton area which remains a somewhat shining light in the wilderness. In Franklin County it's acceptable, even advisable, to marry your own cousin. Many do; you can tell just by looking at them.

[gij123]

boston is friendly if you have friendly money. if your just a common working class person trying to make ends meat. say hello and keep it moving. that's the unspoken understanding here. if you stop and talk to a complete stranger to long that will raise suspicions or they could size you up realize your not from here and take advantage. people here are cool but keep things very brief.

[houguy1087]

Boston is an awesome city, but the people are not cold per say, but rude is right up there. The college students are pretty nice because most aren't from here and I would also say that the people who drive in to Boston are pretty friendly too because they have to reorient themselves to the city every day. (I also like how people take the right-of-way so seriously here.)

One example of how one of my friends from SF was treated: My friend was trying to get a cab and asked if she could make a reservation for a cab pick-up and the operator said that they we'ren't going to make reservations that day due to weather conditions. My friend asked what would happen if the weather changed and the operator said she didn't know and that she wasn't a weather forecaster so don't ask and continued to talk even after my friend had hung up the phone because she was shocked at how rude the operator was.

A personal experience I had was when an elderly and frail asian man was walking with a bag of corn meal on his back and was struggling to carry it. The T operator yelled and scowled at him for being so slow because she had to make her stops. I was just sad that nobody had helped him. Also, 9 times out of 10 on the T nobody gets up for ladies to sit down...on a full T. There are lots more stories.

Also, I noticed that Boston is such a cash-based city...I feel like they don't trust me to use my credit/debit card.

I think the coldness comes because there are so many people in one place. (Not always the case though there are lots of rude people in Houston and you better watch out for them when you're on the road!) I believe high-density drives people nuts though because you have to get things done fast to accomodate everyone, that's just my theory.

I do love Boston though-just for other reasons!

[remember-voltaire]

er

how would your friend know they were still talking if they had hung up as you say

bit of porkies going on here

internat
understand completely


martha

seems you had a bad deal with an italian guy WOW after reading your post though I agree irish americans are nothing like the irish , the irish from ireland who I have known and I have lived in ireland have never looked at irish americans as the same at all, they really class themselves as different.

even st patricks day is well over done in boston, rememeber a group of irish guys on vacation being over here and they couldn't believe the , green bread, green beer, shamrock ear rings , green clothing they really thought it was stupid and actually laughed at how people were behaving

[houguy1087]

Originally Posted by remember-voltaire

er

how would your friend know they were still talking if they had hung up as you say

bit of porkies going on here

internat
understand completely


martha

seems you had a bad deal with an italian guy WOW after reading your post though I agree irish americans are nothing like the irish , the irish from ireland who I have known and I have lived in ireland have never looked at irish americans as the same at all, they really class themselves as different.

even st patricks day is well over done in boston, rememeber a group of irish guys on vacation being over here and they couldn't believe the , green bread, green beer, shamrock ear rings , green clothing they really thought it was stupid and actually laughed at how people were behaving

Sorry, I meant that she heard the lady on the phone talking when she clicked to disconnect.