Are Boston people friendly? Or nice? (living in, nicest, relocation)

[EricS39]

Originally Posted by tarheart009

I've lived in New England before and I like it. I was wondering if it was a misconception that most people from Boston, or MA, are "jerks." I've heard they were rude, but I really want to move to Boston. I want to hope that not everyone is mean and that there are nice people. Somebody help me understand the culture there.

Very friendly and genuine and in your face honesty type people. They tell you what the turn-the-other-cheek people won't so you will know how to make friends and won't be excluded by people who act nice to your face.

I even landed a job in Boston by a hiring manager who criticized me during and after interview. In another city, same job profile, I was treated politely and was not considered for hire

[flowbe202]

Originally Posted by Niandra

Funny enough, I made a friend that way! I was walking my dog, she stopped to say hi, and we struck up a conversation and had a ton of common interests! She had recently moved from Georgia to Boston. We ended up hanging at her apartment after work that day!

No, you had a DOG--there was a commonality implied between the two of you because of the four legged friend who "introduced" you.

[bjimmy24]

Originally Posted by flowbe202

Ok - I'll play....

Where do you live?

What kind of housing? 3decker? Hi-rise condo? 4story walk up? SFH?

Who are your neighbors? Students? Long-time residents? Vampires? Yuppies? Are you the same as they are or are you a fish out of water? (I.e. Goth, tattoo artist living in senior residences.)

The only time I have never NOT known my neighbors was when I was living near students- older, medical students, but still students. They had no time for me because I didn't play in their sandbox.

For example:

I find it inconceivable for a Bostonian to have a companion animal and not know their dog/cat neighbors.

I find it harder still to believe all those young Boston families and kids talking at the parks won't talk to anyone new who shows up to play day after day.

Get my drift?

Bostonians like to know their neighbors so they can gossip about them, tell them you're parking in their spot, that you got a ticket for parking on a street cleaning side, you didn't shovel the snow correctly. They'll tell you your car was towed because it was hit by that crazy lady who lives the next street over.

They may not spend hours talking to you, but they sure spend that time doing it behind your back!!

Because you and others never had these experiences I think all these people saying Bostonians are unfriendly are just saying it about each other...and neither one is really, truly a Bostonian.

Nowhere in my post did I say Bostonians are unfriendly.

Some of my best friends here are Boston/Mass natives. Simply observing that my neighbors don't as much look at me when we cross paths. This hasn't happened to me anywhere before in the USA. True, there are many students here that might not care, but I'm not buying this. When I was a student at Ohio State (much higher concentration of students around that campus than anywhere in Boston), I always knew my neighbors, whether in an apartment or a split house.

I'm just saying I can understand how someone can think that this place is a little bit more closed off than most other places in the country.

[bjimmy24]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Actually this happened a fair amount to me in the upper midwest. Run into a person at bar, or at the farmers market, or out fishing and be invited over to watch the Packers or grill.

This is not uncommon in some parts. People in the midwest/Great Lakes areas seem a bit more social to me (at least when it comes to random people), and no, it's not because they're "phony" or they "have time for nonsense."

[Archan]

When I first moved to Boston, I was walking down the street (downtown) early in the morning. A guy was walking the opposite way, and I said a simple "good morning". He gave me a look like I asked him for money.

During my interview process, before I moved to Boston, the older Bostonian guy I was speaking with leaned in and told me that they have a really great Chinatown when they were trying to convince me to move there! I am Chinese, but I grew up in the suburbs in California no trace of an Chinese accent. I know he meant it in the nicest possible way, but it still makes me laugh to this day!

That being said, I've made many great friends in Boston! Though I have moved back to California, I still have many good Bostonian friends to this day!

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

This is not uncommon in some parts. People in the midwest/Great Lakes areas seem a bit more social to me (at least when it comes to random people), and no, it's not because they're "phony" or they "have time for nonsense."

No, but I did run into a lot of phoniness on the west coast (California was horrible for it) and fake nice in the South. People in the great lakes region are generally the nicest people I've met. They do tend to move at a slower pace (society does there), so perhaps they do have more time.

[bjimmy24]

Originally Posted by timberline742

No, but I did run into a lot of phoniness on the west coast (California was horrible for it) and fake nice in the South. People in the great lakes region are generally the nicest people I've met. They do tend to move at a slower pace (society does there), so perhaps they do have more time.

I don't know what a "slow" or "fast" pace really means though. It seems to me like it's always cited as an excuse for coldness (we're just fast-paced, deal with it) or as a way of explaining friendliness (we move at a slow, relaxed pace, so we're friendly). I think people in Milwaukee still have to work, get home, go to meetings, make money, and care for their family just as much as people in New York and Boston. You can definitely move quickly and be friendly as well as move slowly and be a jerk.

[MassVt]

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

I don't know what a "slow" or "fast" pace really means though. It seems to me like it's always cited as an excuse for coldness (we're just fast-paced, deal with it) or as a way of explaining friendliness (we move at a slow, relaxed pace, so we're friendly). I think people in Milwaukee still have to work, get home, go to meetings, make money, and care for their family just as much as people in New York and Boston. You can definitely move quickly and be friendly as well as move slowly and be a jerk.

Quite true--the old "we're blunt and to-the-point, but we're just being honest" nonsense that's just an excuse to be rude for no reason...

[CaseyB]

Originally Posted by MassVt

Quite true--the old "we're blunt and to-the-point, but we're just being honest" nonsense that's just an excuse to be rude for no reason...

I'd agree with that. There's just no reason for some of the rudeness you see.

[penny1969]

Originally Posted by EricS39

Very friendly and genuine and in your face honesty type people. They tell you what the turn-the-other-cheek people won't so you will know how to make friends and won't be excluded by people who act nice to your face.

I even landed a job in Boston by a hiring manager who criticized me during and after interview. In another city, same job profile, I was treated politely and was not considered for hire

Yes, it is nice that the job market tells you to your face what's wrong with you.

At one office of DETMA years ago, I was told (along with my then-future-boyfriend, an Italian-American guy) by the guy at the desk that "you don't want your resume to make them gasp when they see you." I looked at Joe and said something like, "well then there's no other way, what, do I just leave all my degrees and skills off it and leave it blank, then?"

There is something refreshing about being told what you're doing wrong whereby all these other states (where supposedly "there are more jobs" or "the jobs go begging" or "they're crying out for Math teachers") will just lie to you, ignore you, avoid your attempts at communication, smile in your face and stab you in the back, etc.

Of course, the same could be said of some parts of New York and some parts of New Jersey and Pennsylvania, too...