101 ways you know you're from boston (Worcester, Springfield: appointed, sales, 2009)

[DaveV]

101 WAYS YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM BOSTON

1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the greatest moments in your life.
2. The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you're swearing at him for going too slow.
3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke.
4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid
5. You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.
6. You do not recognize the letter"R" as a part of the English language.
7. Your social security number starts with a 0
8. You can actually find your way around Boston.
9. You know what a "regular" coffee is.
10. You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round.
11. You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a Dorchester accent.
12. Springfield is located "way out west."
13. You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn't f lip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.
14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Gloucester, and Haverhill.
15. Anyone you don't know is a potential idiot until proven otherwise.
16. Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts or CVS within eyeshot at all times.
17. You know what "cold tea" in Chinatown is (or sadly, was)
18. You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski.
19. You know there's a trophy at the end of the Bean Pot.
20. You order iced coffee in January
21. You know that the Purple Line will take you anywhere
22. You love scorpion bowls.
23. You know what they sell at a Packie.
24. Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS.
25. You know what First Night is.
26. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.
27. McLobster? McCrap!
28. You know at least 2 cops in your town because they were your high school drinking buddies.
29. Sure there are 6 New England states, but Connecticut really doesn't count.
30. You intentionally give wrong directions to tourists, feel bad when they drive off, but then say to yourself,"Ah, screw them."
31. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
32. You've been to Paragon Park
33. You know holding onto the railing when riding the Green Line is not optional
34. The numbers '78 and '86 make you cringe.
35. You've been to Goodtimes before
36. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. (...and they DO).
37. You have never been to "Cheers."
38. The words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.
39. You've been to Fenway Park several times.
40. You've crossed the Sagamore Bridge or the Bourne Bridge with a hangover on a Monday morning.
41. You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat.
42. You know what a Frappe is.
43. Actors who don't get the Boston accent right are wicked annoying.
44. You know who Frank Averuch is.
45. ADVANCED: You know Frank Averuch was once Bozo the Clown
46. You can complete the following: "Lynn, Lynn..."
47. You get ****ed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and it turns out to be friggin' Snows.
48. You actually know how to merge from six lanes of traffic down to one.
49. The TV weatherman is damn good if he's right 25% of the time.
50. You never go to "Cape Cod," you go "down the Cape".
51. You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
52. You know who Whitey Bulger is.
53. You went to the Swan Boats, House of Seven Gables, or Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in elementary school
54. Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom Brady, and Ted Williams.
55. You remember Major Mudd.
56. You know what candlepin bowling is
57. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day
58. You know Scollay Square once stood where Government Center is.
59. When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the coolest guy around. Speaking of which...
60. You can still hum the song from the end of Boom Town
61. Calling Carrabba's an "Italian" restaurant is sacrilege
62. You still have your old Flexible Flyer somewhere in your parents' attic.
63. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
64. The only time you've been on the Freedom Trail is when relatives are in town.
65. The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn't really that much of a surprise.
66. You call guys you've just met "Chief" or "Boss."
67. 4:15pm and pitch black out means there's just 3 more shopping days until Christmas
68. You know more than one person with the last name Murphy.
69. You refer to Savin Hill as "Stab 'n Kill."
70. You've never eaten at Durgin Park, but recommend it to tourists.
71. You can't look at the zip code 02134 without singing it.
72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country.
73. 11pm? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloon!
74. 2am? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly's Roast Beef!
75. 5am? Drunk? It means one thing: You wish you had a blanket in your back seat
76. You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group.
77. People you don't like are all "Bastids."
78. You took school or work off for the Patriots first Super Bowl Win Parade
79. You've called something "wicked ****a."
80. You'll always get razzed for Dukakis.
81. Saturday afternoons meant Creature Double Feature with Dale Dorman
82. Sunday mornings meant the Three Stooges on Channel 38
83. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater
84. No, you don't trust the Gorton's Fisherman.
85. You know that Papa Gino's usually has a jukebox
86. You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band of all time.
87. Your town has at least 6 sub shops, and none of them are a Subway.
88. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frankie.
89. 20 degrees isn't that bad as long as there's no wind.
90. You were very sad when saying goodbye to the Boston Garden
91. Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School football, and the long version of Alice's Restaurant.
92. You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops was Athah Feedlah.
93. You know what the Combat Zone is
94. You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax
95. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.
96. You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop
97. You've been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday night
98. Playing street hockey was a daily ritual.
99. Hearing an old lady shout "Numbah 96 for Sioux City!" means it's time for steak.
100. You remember Jordan Marsh, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor,Zayres, or Ann& Hope.
101. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts

[NEastBound]

Ok....

seems I have some studying to do. (currently in the Atlanta area moving to Boston in 2009)

I must learn the ways...I already have the driving down pat and the car totally decked out in Red Sox gear

[Akhenaten]

ugh, actually these are the 100 most irritating things about Boston. Luckily the only thing that applies to me is #22. If these are people's impressions of Boston that's really lame.

[Billski]

you park on the street FACING traffic (i.e., left side of road).

you reserve a parking spot with your mother's dining room chair.

and, if you're really entrenched, you drink TONIC, or worse yet, MOXIE! uke":

you like these disgusting things called "bulkies"

You know the original name of the 'Wang Center'

You know what the "combat zone" was and the names of the enterprises.
If you're really entrenched you remember Scollay Square.

You still have T tokens in your drawer.

You bought your engagement and wedding rings in the Jeweler's building on Washington Street.

You eat an ice cream cone outside on the coldest winter day.

You know how to get around East Boston and Chelsea without using the highway.

[DaveV]

Originally Posted by Akhenaten

ugh, actually these are the 100 most irritating things about Boston. Luckily the only thing that applies to me is #22. If these are people's impressions of Boston that's really lame.

What's lame? It's all true and all funny! And it's not "people's impressions".. What, did u wake on the wrong side of the bed? If you don't go "down the 'Cape", u didn't grow up here.

And I remember Major Mudd, Rex Trailer AND "Creature Double Feature"!


YouTube - Rex Trailer Boomtown Theme Song


YouTube - Flashback: Interview with Major Mudd


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m--ayWTBWi0

[boston mark]

Originally Posted by DaveV

What's lame? It's all true and all funny!

I agree. There is nothing better than Kelly's at 2am.

[RMP059]

4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid
Or Lincoln Pahk.

5. You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.
I love rotaries, and the slow disappearance of them is another sign of the homogenization of USA.

14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Gloucester, and Haverhill.
And Peabody.

31. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
I'm no longer a late-night drinker, but it seems a lot of the neighborhood bars had to stop this practice back in the late 80s when they started really cracking down on licensing and the "no happy hour" thing went into effect.

47. You get ****ed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and it turns out to be friggin' Snows.
Or worse, has tomatoes in it!!

63. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
But it slides north east of 128 and follows 128 from there.

69. You refer to Savin Hill as "Stab 'n Kill."
And the people who live there Savin Hillbillies.

74. 2am? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly's Roast Beef!
Kelly's? Buzzy's (Charles St. Circle) or Riley's (allston)!!!

[eevee]

Originally Posted by DaveV

What's lame? It's all true and all funny! And it's not "people's impressions".. What, did u wake on the wrong side of the bed? If you don't go "down the 'Cape", u didn't grow up here.

And I remember Major Mudd, Rex Trailer AND "Creature Double Feature"!


YouTube - Rex Trailer Boomtown Theme Song


YouTube - Flashback: Interview with Major Mudd


YouTube - Creature Double Feature WLVI TV56

well, they may be true for you, but the vast majority ring false w/ me and I'm a born and raised Bostonian. that list seems to be geared towards older Bostonians, and Bostonians from certain ethnic/economic classes.

I'm no less of a Bostonian just b/c I have no clue what a Packie or scorpion bowl is, have NO clue who Dewey Evans, Frank Averuch, or Major Mudd are, have never been to Paragon Park, Carrabba's or the Cape, and don't own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or have my life revolve around sports. and there are plenty of real Bostonians to whom most that list wouldn't apply

[DaveV]

Originally Posted by eevee

I'm no less of a Bostonian just b/c I have no clue what a Packie or scorpion bowl is, have NO clue who Dewey Evans, Frank Averuch, or Major Mudd are, have never been to Paragon Park, Carrabba's or the Cape

Why yes - yes you are less of a Bostonian if you don't know SOME of these things.. especially ONE out of 101! (Nevah been "down the CAPE?" Good God, man.. You're not a Bostonian at all! )
and for you ex-pats, bonus points if you know:
~Willie Whistle
~The Big Mattress
~Don Kent

Originally Posted by eevee

or have my life revolve around sports.

EDIT: I just counted, there are exactly SEVEN out of 101 that are sports-related - that leaves 94 for you, babycakes.

Originally Posted by eevee

Bostonians from certain ethnic/economic classes.

Are you insinuating that these jokes only apply to the "lower classes"..? Or that one must be Italian to know someone named "Vinny", or Irish to know someone named "Murphy"? These are the 2 predominant ethnic groups in Boston, which is what makes it funny(to those with a sense of humor at any rate). And thanks for trying to dump on what was intended to be a funny, nostalgic thread for BOSTONIANS wherever they may live now. Guess what: IT DIDN'T WORK

[eevee]

sorry, it was a dumb list filled w/ a lot of assumptions people make about Bostonians and people from Massachusetts in general. there are some genuine points, but it gets lost when you assume ALL Bostonians have experienced ALL the things on the list.

plus, it's been regurgitated so many times across the net, it just gets tiresome and starts becoming less funny, especially as time goes on and the older generations that can actually recall most of the items on the list start to disappear. I'd say give it another 5 years, and they'll be even fewer Bostonians that agree w/ the list