Neighbor using profanity (Boston: condominium, townhouse, live)

[R123]

I am seriously troubled by my neighbor. I own this TownHouse type house in condominium complex where I live. The day I moved in the house, my neighbor who is a 55-60 yr old lady started showing her hatered for me, for no apparent reason.
In the evening of the day I moved, she came down to my house and told me to have my friends (who had come to help me settle down) move their car to the main road as per condo association law, although none of the car was in her way or was causing any inconvenience to anyone, as my unit is the end unit and the cars were in front of my garage. I simply said sorry and moved the cars. Few days after that we were sitting on our deck at night ( around 10:00 PM -myself, my wife and a guest- 3 people) and having a barbeque.... she walked down to my deck and said "u know I have to go to office tomorrow so keep it down" and just went off. We again did not say anything and just ended our chat there. Trust me we were not loud, there was no music, but yes being summers her windows were open, so she could probably hear us.
After that she made it a habit to bangs on the common wall whenever we watch a movie .. even during the day. She crossed the limits when one night around 9:00 PM I just went out with my 5 yr old son for a walk and we were casually talking and she called me a "F*** Ole" from her window and quickly moved away after shouting out the profanity. Then again today I was just looking out of my window in morning and she was taking her car out, when she saw me and without any provocation she showed me her middle finger.. u know what it means. She is doing all this in a way that cannot be recorded or brought to notice of anyone else. We do not have any speaking terms after the 2nd incident (when she bluntly asked us to keep it low) I am not sure how to approach her as she has clearly shown her feelings towards me and my family.
Please suggest how to handle this problem and get it resolved for good!

[darzz1]

Originally Posted by R123

I am seriously troubled by my neighbor. I own this TownHouse type house in condominium complex where I live. The day I moved in the house, my neighbor who is a 55-60 yr old lady started showing her hatered for me, for no apparent reason.
In the evening of the day I moved, she came down to my house and told me to have my friends (who had come to help me settle down) move their car to the main road as per condo association law, although none of the car was in her way or was causing any inconvenience to anyone, as my unit is the end unit and the cars were in front of my garage. I simply said sorry and moved the cars. Few days after that we were sitting on our deck at night ( around 10:00 PM -myself, my wife and a guest- 3 people) and having a barbeque.... she walked down to my deck and said "u know I have to go to office tomorrow so keep it down" and just went off. We again did not say anything and just ended our chat there. Trust me we were not loud, there was no music, but yes being summers her windows were open, so she could probably hear us.
After that she made it a habit to bangs on the common wall whenever we watch a movie .. even during the day. She crossed the limits when one night around 9:00 PM I just went out with my 5 yr old son for a walk and we were casually talking and she called me a "F*** Ole" from her window and quickly moved away after shouting out the profanity. Then again today I was just looking out of my window in morning and she was taking her car out, when she saw me and without any provocation she showed me her middle finger.. u know what it means. She is doing all this in a way that cannot be recorded or brought to notice of anyone else. We do not have any speaking terms after the 2nd incident (when she bluntly asked us to keep it low) I am not sure how to approach her as she has clearly shown her feelings towards me and my family.
Please suggest how to handle this problem and get it resolved for good!

What a bummer your having to deal w/such a nasty neighbor. I am from the Boston area and have never heard of anyone having such troubles with there neighbor. Good on you for taking the high road. If you want to continue to do so... then I would approach her , calmly (as hard as that may be) and just try and get to the bottom of things. Maybe just come out and ask her what have you done to her to make her soo upset with you. If she can't explain then she's just a crabby old bat that you'll have to ignore and then you'll just have to stick up for yourself when she sounds off. Maybe she just get's off on ruining her neighbor's day... so sorry hope it gets better