How Unfriendly?? (Boston: public school, landlord, universities)

[Brit2009]

Hi Guys,

Looking at a move from UK to the US next year and currently deciding where to set up home! Boston is quite high on the list as it seems to tick all the boxes at the moment (shorter flight time to UK, good universities, lots of culture etc). However, I am becoming increasingly concerned by the number of things I read on the net about the traditionally unfriendly attitudes of Bostonians, even on this forum.

This isn't a personal observation, I have never been to Boston or met anyone from there, and I am actually hoping that you guys will tell me I'm wrong. For example as a British person aged 23, working in the private sector as a civil engineer - how am I likely to be received? Don't get me wrong I am a confident person and I'm not expecting anyone to hold my hand but if people are unduly unfriendly on the whole I may have to rethink Boston.....

[clevedark]

Oh there are plenty of people in Boston who aren't natives, you'll be fine! (big smiley face)

[lrfox]

Boston's a major international hub. The extensive university and healthcare network as well as all of the finance and commerce in town make it so that there are people from all over the world in town at all times. You will NOT be alone, not by a long shot.

You'll find Boston to be just about as "friendly" as London. It's not the South, so people won't be saying, "God Bless You" every time you hold a door for them, or waving at complete strangers walking down the street. People in Boston tend to mind their own business. If you're polite and have common sense, you'll fit right in. If you look lost, often times people will stop and ask you if you need help finding something.

On the internet (particularly these online forums) people often assume certain stereotypes about places are completely true (like right now, I'm assuming you have bad teeth---- just kidding). Many people who tell you that Boston is "unfriendly" have never been to Boston. The ones who have, probably come from a small town where they know everyone they walk by and strike up random conversations in the middle of the street. Boston isn't like that. People in Boston are honest, blunt, and usually on a schedule which is why the pace is faster (though not as fast as London or New York) and people may SEEM unfriendly.

Now, if you go to a bar or restaurant in the evening or on the weekend, it's a different story. People aren't working and usually aren't on a tight schedule and they tend to be MUCH more social and friendly.

Bottom line- it's a city and a pretty big one at that. The people here are city people, they work hard enjoy every bit of time they have off. You'll see personalities that reflect that. I wouldn't let the people who say "Boston is SOOO unfriendly" chase you away... chances are, they don't know any better.

[theh]

I didn't even realize Boston was supposed to be unfriendly until I read it here on these forums. Take those comments with a grain of salt. I think these people are just mad because they don't get our jokes.

[Bostonian08]

Everybody in America likes Brits anyways, particularly in Boston. Who can resist that accent? And Bostonians like to fashion themselves as the most European city in the USA. I found London to be a lot like Boston - with all the parks and greenspace. You'll like it.

I met a British guy visiting Boston one day and he started immediately apologizing and talking about how "Brits aren't really unfriendly, it's just that ...". I was thinking "whoa whoa whoa, I thought we were the unfriendly ones!" Anyways, I think friendly defined in the USA is more about how friendly your wait staff and customer service is than general populace. In Dallas when you run a cash register and only wait on 10 customers a day, it's a whole lot easier to be chipper than a Bostonian serving 100 customers per hour.

Personally I think we should completely eliminate any travel restrictions between the UK and the USA. More Brits would make the USA a better place.

God save the Queen!

[Brit2009]

Ah thank you for putting my mind at rest! I think we will come over and visit for a few days before we make a final decision. Nowhere can be as unfriendly as eastern Europe anyway so I guess I should've known we'd be ok!

[seamusnh]

Originally Posted by Bostonian08

Everybody in America likes Brits anyways, particularly in Boston.

Sure. Just avoid parts of Charlestown, Southie, and Dorchesters...

[clevedark]

OMG, I can't imagine ever living in Eastern Europe. I saw Anthony Bourdain's show about Romania and was chilled to the bone.

[AandD]

I love how it's all the natives saying "we're not unfriendly". LOL.

I just moved here from the uber-friendly South. My impression is that 'friendliness' is situation dependant here. I work in healthcare at the Federal level, and I would say I meet plenty of friendly people at work. I would also say that because of the mobility factor, only a slight majority of the people I work with have not lived outside the northeast (and therefore had to incorporate some friendliness into their attitude in order to assimilate). Funny story - 2 hours after meeting me, my office mate gave me a long look and said - "you're really chatty, arent' you"?

My landlord is really friendly, although I have felt subtley discouraged from chatting by her husband. Socially, I have met some really friendly parents at my son's school - but there have been one or two who were very obviously trying to discourage conversation.

HOWEVER - my interactions with lower level service-oriented employees has been abysmal in some cases to the point that I was thinking "if I had given that attitude to anyone in Texas, they'd have immediately asked for my boss and my a$$ would've been on the street". I find the employees at Shaw's grocery stores to be, far and beyond, the absolute rudest employees I've ever met. When I showed up at the school to register my son, the secretary said "oh, I don't register kids on Monday". I was floored. How do you NOT register a child that shows up at your PUBLIC school for his FREE APPROPRIATE PUBLIC EDUCATION?

Since most people tend to naturally interact with those they have some common ground with (co-workers, co-volunteers, teammates, etc.) I think you will be fine - as there's more built-in ice breakers. If you are a naturally outgoing and friendly person, be prepared to feel rebuffed at times. But, it's not so much or so apparent that it lowers my opinion of my quality of life here.

(You native's crack me up....)

[Cantabridgienne]

AanD, point taken about many customer service workers, but as for the rest, it really depends on how you define "friendly". Not everyone here thinks it means chatting with everyone you come in contact with.

Not to stereotype back, but a woman in my office (who is a fairly recent transplant from Georgia) has asked me personal questions that I considered intrusive and borderline offensive. All under the guise of "being chatty".