Those leaving Boston, or who have left Boston. Do You Have any Regrets? Where did you move? (Brockton: real estate, rent)

[Bostonian08]

Originally Posted by miamidad

i could have moved anywhere in the country and i chose boston--i loved boston but i dont feel it loved me back. Its been a very hard winter. Too many really rude people (lots of friendly people as well but somehow the rude ones are the ones that stick in my head) whenever i drove i was petrified i would hit someone because pedestrians and bikers would just go in front of my moving car. Crazy expensive! once we parked for 90 minutes downtown and the garage tix was $40!!! I will miss boston very much but i think it is too hard for us--

That's the BIG difference between Miami(ans) and Boston(ians). People in Miami love freely openly passionately uncautiously and wrecklessly. With Bostonians it's a long long courtship before Bostonians open up. Boston will love you back and take way better care of you than Miami ever would, but not on the first date and not on the second. Boston doesn't want a passle of hot lovers, Boston want you to marry her in one of her big cathedrals.

Boston is more proper, safer, stately, staid and boring.
Miami is more passionate, wreckless, escandalous, and fun.

Once you've mastered driving in BOS, you can drive anywhere.

[KarynO]

I only moved to NH and I miss it

[lrfox]

I was in Maine for more than 4 years. While I never lived IN Boston before (I lived 40 minutes outside the city and made it a second home), I missed it while away. I finally made the move into Boston and couldn't be happier. Now, I'm taking a room in an apartment with some friends on Mission Hill until I get my own place (or at least a more long-term room share as this is for the summer only). I couldn't be happier.

This isn't to say that if I were given an opportunity to live elsewhere I wouldn't take it. I love New York City and if I have a chance to live there for a while (longer if I like it) I'll take it. Same goes for Washington, Seattle, San Francisco and a few other cities that I've enjoyed visiting. I'd also take a chance to live in Europe, Hong Kong, or Japan if I get it (I'm hoping I get this chance during graduate studies). Unless one of these places sweeps me off my feet (Quebec City came VERY close to doing just that), Boston will always be home. I love this town and it just feels right. The cost of living is worth it to me. I'd rather live without a car in 700 square feet in Boston than in a 3,500sq ft home and a luxury SUV in, say... Tampa.

Boston is CERTAINLY not for everyone. I can understand how and why people get frustrated with Boston. However, for me... it's perfect (well, close to it).

[Lauren]

I left Boston and I regret it. I currently live in a nice suburb of Atlanta. I grew up on the Northshore and that will always be home. The only thing, IMO, that Georgia has over Massachusetts, is the mild winter, but that's it. Where I live, there are no unique restaurants, they're all chains, there's no mall close by, it's over 45 minutes away. I hate being away from the ocean. It takes over 5 hours to get to the ocean. Lot more crime here.

[adambos]

I left Boston for NYC about a year ago and don't regret it for a second. I lived in Boston for about 6 years and began to feel as if I had outgrown it. It lacked the sophistication and cosmopolitan vibrnacy that I craved. the nightlife, or lack of it was abysmal, and it's intrerdependance on the suburbs forced the quality of life issues in the city (back bay) down. With only 500,000 residents of the city of boston, the city never had the votes to push accross quality of life laws. Liberal elites in newton and cambridge (living a different lifestyle and not affected by the same variiables) simply wouldnt budge. There is less panhandling in manhattan than on Boylston St. Attitudes were negative and I got sick of the bellyaching.

I want to be clear. Boston is a GREAT city. MUCH better than overgrown suburbs like Atlanta or Dallas. It is, in my opinion, one of America's premeier cities. However the opportunities, attitudes and depth of new york have been incredible, and it has exceeded my expectations. I love it here.

[1979]

Originally Posted by lrfox

Boston is CERTAINLY not for everyone. I can understand how and why people get frustrated with Boston. However, for me... it's perfect (well, close to it).

You know Irfox, I don't know if I've ever met anyone originally from Providence that didn't love Boston. I looked at the pic in your profile and at first I thought it was Providence with a few proposed buildings because it looked like Providence City Hall in the lower right corner, then I looked closer.

[jcoffy]

Yes, I do. I would like to get back there but my wife is not happy to make the move.

[missionhill]

Adambos's analysis is a little confusing: my impression has always been that the Back Bay Association has been ever-vigilant in efforts to suppress nightlife, bars, and other metropolitan amusements that they see as invasive and disruptive to their neighborhood. Nevertheless, Back Bay has had more and more activity over the years, not less. I'm not sure what the suburbs have to do with it. Cambridge, for its part, has at least as much action as Boston so again I'm confused. I always liked the city-suburb interpenetration in the Boston area; the nearby suburbs, at least, are part of the urban experience; whereas in New York the city sees itself as a complete universe, so much so that everyone seems to have forgotten that Brooklyn and Queens are on Long Island (Long Island being seen as suburban and therefore separate.)

[holden125]

Originally Posted by missionhill

Adambos's analysis is a little confusing: my impression has always been that the Back Bay Association has been ever-vigilant in efforts to suppress nightlife, bars, and other metropolitan amusements that they see as invasive and disruptive to their neighborhood. Nevertheless, Back Bay has had more and more activity over the years, not less. I'm not sure what the suburbs have to do with it. Cambridge, for its part, has at least as much action as Boston so again I'm confused.

I tend to agree. I understand Adam's argument to be that liberal elites who don't actually have to deal with urban problems block "quality of life" laws in the state legislature on the theory that such laws are reactionary or insufficiently tolerant of panhandlers. I would think many "quality of life" issues could be handled by Boston city ordinance and not require state approval, but I don't know enough about the ins and outs of Boston's municipal powers to say with any certainty.

Cambridge, at least, is on balance as urban as Boston, so that part of the argument puzzles me too. Indeed, most of Cambridge is considerably more urban than parts of Boston like West Roxbury, and the most liberal "pro-panhandler" people in Cambridge tend to be in places like Central Square, which has its share of urban "hassles." I don't want to quibble about Adam's having including Cambridge, but living in Boston for 6 years and thinking Cambridge is the suburbs suggests a fairly limited transplanted Boston experience.

I also agree that older Back Bay residents, not suburbanites, are foremost among those trying to curb nightlife there.

Originally Posted by missionhill

I always liked the city-suburb interpenetration in the Boston area; the nearby suburbs, at least, are part of the urban experience; whereas in New York the city sees itself as a complete universe, so much so that everyone seems to have forgotten that Brooklyn and Queens are on Long Island (Long Island being seen as suburban and therefore separate.)

I agree with this too, although frankly most Manhattan-centric types in New York will not think Long Island any less suburban when confronted with the knowledge that it physically contains Brooklyn and Queens, since they consider those places suburban as well. Brooklyn, in particular (but also most of Queens), is more urban than almost any other city in the country, but to many Manhattanites it is terra incognita. For many Manhattanites, there is a four-tiered structure of urbanity:

1. Manhattan
2. Brooklyn, Bronx, Western Queens
3. Eastern Queens, Staten Island, NYC suburbs
4. The rest of the world.

I also like the fact that there is greater integration of nearby suburbs and the city in Boston. New York is so big, and its transportation structure so outmoded, that it's a real hassle to commute to the city from just about any suburb. On a weekend it's nothing at all for me to call a friend and run into Boston for lunch, while my relatives living in NYC suburbs treat going in to the city as an all-day event that has to be planned weeks in advance.

In my experience it's also much more common for teenagers in Newton or even Belmont or Arlington to come to Boston or Cambridge on their own than for kids in NYC suburbs to go to NYC, because it's harder to get there and the difference between city and suburb is so stark that many of the parents and kids are afraid of it. I do not think spending the day in NYC is dangerous by any means, but I've seen that my cousins on Long Island (45 min train ride to Manhattan) didn't even dream of going to NYC on their own until they had gone away to college and learned some independence.

The reverse is also true. Many residents of Manhattan, and other boros, just never really leave the city limits. Never the twain shall meet. Though it's often celebrated as a virtue in New York, there's something very limiting about the Woody Allen, I-get-a-nosebleed-when-I-cross-the-Lincoln-Tunnel mentality.

One of my favorite things about Massachusetts is how interconnected it is. You can get from A to B, at least much more easily than in New York. My girlfriend (she has lived in the MetroWest, in Boston, and in Waltham and Belmont) and I both have friends in many towns in the area, we've spent time in virtually every town in eastern Massachusetts, and we know the restaurants, etc. in many of them. Many people in New York have no clue where the towns in their area are, let alone having ever gone there for dinner. My mom, who grew up in Brooklyn, couldn't have told you where Columbia's campus was in Manhattan.

It may be clear that I don't share Adambos's rosy view of life in NYC. It may just be burnout, but I've had enough sophistication (which I'm beginning to translate as condescending phoniness and the flaunting of material opulence), and I couldn't care less about nightlife. I enjoy having a couple of beers but I'm not into loud, overpriced, and crowded and at this point in my life I don't really want to stay out past 2 anyway. I appreciate the things NYC has to offer, but at this point I've done it all a thousand times and would just like to have some outdoor space for a grill on a nice summer weekend, and to be able to see trees without sitting in 3 hours of traffic just to pass the city limits. Just getting out of work and home before 9 PM is a big hassle in NYC.

I think I recall Adam saying something on the NYC forum about having first seen NYC as an adult and falling in love. I was actually born in NYC, lived there for several years as a child, have a lot of family there, went to school there, and worked there for a number of years. I imagine it's very stimulating for someone moving from somewhere else, but for me the novelty is gone, the "greatest city in the world" schtick has gotten very stale, and it's just not worth it.

Originally Posted by adambos

I want to be clear. Boston is a GREAT city. MUCH better than overgrown suburbs like Atlanta or Dallas. It is, in my opinion, one of America's premeier cities.

This I agree with a million percent. Could never get with the suburban pseudo-cities of the Sun Belt.

[jonjj]

I left Boston and moved to Baltimore. Regrets? No. Do I miss Boston? Yes. I always kind of think of Baltimore as Boston's ugly little sister. Sorry if that offends anyone.
But seriously, I do love Boston and enjoy it when I visit (at least twice a year), but I don't regret leaving it. In Baltimore, I have a great huge home in a decent city neighborhood that I would never be able to afford in Boston. And, Baltimore has it's charm. I have always stood by the underdog so I guess I was meant to be in Baltimore.