Those leaving Boston, or who have left Boston. Do You Have any Regrets? Where did you move? (Cambridge: fit in, unemployed)

[BrightLights9]

I left once and moved back, and now I'm more than ready to leave again. The first time I left I moved to a smaller city where I had some family, I was pretty fresh out of college and still caught in the "but you don't have enough experience" trap. I got a good year of experience under my belt and made some good business connections, but I missed my friend circle, I missed big city life, and I wasn't happy in a smaller town where they treated me like a pity case because I was 24 and wasn't married. After a year of that, I couldn't wait to come back to Boston

Fast forward a few years - I'm in my early 30s, successful in my career but not so successful that I've made any real headway financially (in fact, I keep getting pushed farther and farther out of the city because rents are increasing much faster than my salary). My hard partying days are for the most part out of my system, so nightlife isn't a huge concern, I'm happiest in a sports bar or low-key pub. My student loans are shrinking, but still too hefty to be able to afford a better lifestyle. I'm at a point in my life where I've made my bones career-wise and I have enough skills that I will be able to get a good job in another city, even if it takes a while and means temping/waiting tables as a layover. I am tired of paying obscene amounts of money to live with 4 roommates, I am tired of being squashed on the T like a sardine and being sneezed on and accidentally groped, I'm tired of knowing that no matter how hard I work, I'll never get far enough ahead financially to have my own place and a dog unless I move so far out that I'd have to buy a car, which would not only negate any cost savings, but the commute would be so long that there wouldn't be a point in having a dog because I wouldn't be able to spend time with him/her. Not to mention that I love giant breed dogs (Pyrenees, Newfies, etc), and it's next to impossible to find an apartment in the city within my budget that allows dogs AT ALL, much less ones that weigh more than I do. And - the biggest reason of all - THE WEATHER! It's AWFUL! I love hot, humid, sunny days, and I would do very well in the south. I am one of those people who is always cold, I wear jeans and sweaters in the summer, and I HATE air conditioning - I can sleep just fine in 85 degree heat and humidity with just a ceiling fan on low, and I still cover myself with a sheet and a light cotton blanket. I barely leave my apartment during the winter because I get so uncomfortable in the cold. I also suffer from seasonal affective disorder, and there are patches in the winter when I cry at least twice a day for a week or two straight.

Boston was a great place to be when I was in my 20s, and I really tried to make it work into my 30s, but there's no award for she who suffers the most. If I stay here, I'll always live like an overgrown college kid (roommates, no car, no pets). I'm looking at Charleston, SC - it's sizeable enough that I won't feel out of sorts, but small enough that the pace will be a lot slower, which is what I'm craving. MA is a bit too liberal for me, and while SC is a red state, its cities are blue, which I think creates a nice balance. Many apartment complexes and by-owner rentals are dog-friendly (there are restrictions but they tend to be breed-based rather than size-based, which still sucks but at least I'll get to adopt my Pyr). 2-bedroom apartments in complexes with pools, fitness centers, and dog parks cost less than what I'm paying up here for a bedroom outside the city. I'm also looking forward to having a car again - it'll be great to be able to leave things in my car and not have to lug half my house around with me on the T if I want to work out and run errands after work. My only concern with Charleston is that the winters will still be too cold and I'll wish I'd moved to Florida.

When it comes to relationships, I always say "stay as long as the good is better than the bad is bad," and the same applies to cities. Physically, emotionally, and financially, staying in Boston is bringing me more bad than good, so it's time to move on.

[timberline742]

I've left and come back several times. It's home, though I miss Wisconsin. I get the above post, I was living on my own in my early 20s in the Midwest, I had roommates until late 30s here and will have to move way out to get a condo. I'm ok with that at this point as I have the job I want.

I, unlike the poster above, HATE the heat... above 75/80 and I am not a happy camper.

[495neighbor]

Originally Posted by BrightLights9

When it comes to relationships, I always say "stay as long as the good is better than the bad is bad," and the same applies to cities. Physically, emotionally, and financially, staying in Boston is bringing me more bad than good, so it's time to move on.

Good words to live by...but do you realize although a paradise there is not much work in Charleston. Maybe Texas would be better than SC for heat and employment?

[495neighbor]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I've left and come back several times. It's home, though I miss Wisconsin. I get the above post, I was living on my own in my early 20s in the Midwest, I had roommates until late 30s here and will have to move way out to get a condo. I'm ok with that at this point as I have the job I want.

I, unlike the poster above, HATE the heat... above 75/80 and I am not a happy camper.

It seems like early 30s is the break point for many of us living in Boston. I too considered leaving around that age. I was feeling too old to hang around college kids and young enough to begin all over again. I explored many other states and found nothing I liked better, so I stayed and here I am.

[timberline742]

If I wasn't clear (not that it matters) I left at 22 and came back around 30... I'm glad I wasn't in Boston in my 20s actually... but probably because my family is here and I think it is very important for independence sake to go off and start over with no family (and for me, no friends) someplace and build a life. Madison worked out perfectly for me for most of that.

I'm glad to be back though as Boston is a good space for a single 30s guy... though now I'm 40s.

[Gauss44]

Originally Posted by 1979

Those leaving Boston, or who have left Boston. Do You Have any Regrets? Where did you move?

I left Boston temporarily to go to Scottsdale, AZ. I seriously missed being in a city (Boston) geared towards young educated people. In Boston there's so much for a young adult (20's, 30's) to do. Not true of all cities.

[jackshaw]

I had lived in Cambridge for 10 years (finished grad school and then worked). Then, I went to New York for five years for professional reasons (job on Wall Street). I loved NY but was happy to leave after five years. Too big and congested. And, I had my first child in NY and couldn't see either raising him in NY or moving to the burbs as they are so far away.

I started my own company when I moved back. Boston was the best place to do that, although I had wanted to move to Boulder or Denver -- but my wife vetoed that move. At this point, I could probably live anywhere (that has a hub airport with lots of international flights). I'm thinking of moving some place warm for the winters, but I'm going to wait to see where my college and grad school age kids end up. One is in Boston (though thinks she may want to move to Boulder) and the other is in Amherst and about to move to the Bay Area for grad school).

I would have preferred Boulder (love the mountains and the weather relative to Boston. Other than missing mountains and the winters, no regrets. I think Boston has the largest number of interesting people per capita. By virtue of how I started my career, I'm fortunate to know many interesting and/or well-placed folks. So, it is fun to have people over for dinner.

[Shantotto]

Born and raised in Boston. In three months I'll be leaving for Dallas. Taking a leap and in need of scenery change. I will definitely miss walking all over Newbury, Bolyston, Mass Ave, Cambridge and down town. I'll miss the Boston Bruins! I will not miss the annoying tour bus tourist blocking sidewalks and thinking they own the streets/stores. I will not miss the snow storm, shoveling foot high snow, and the red line.

You can leave Boston, but Boston doesn't leave you.

[missionhill]

You can say that again! Good luck in the big D!

[495neighbor]

Originally Posted by Gauss44

I left Boston temporarily to go to Scottsdale, AZ. I seriously missed being in a city (Boston) geared towards young educated people. In Boston there's so much for a young adult (20's, 30's) to do. Not true of all cities.

I think the value people of all ages place on education and educational opportunities whether it is evening classes or lectures or professional groups is one of the two things that keeps me here along with the varied and dramatic scenery mountains, oceans, forests and rolling farm lands, many kinds of wildlife.