meeting new people in Boston (Somerville: neighborhood, theatre, high school)

[luckyducky87]

I will be in the Boston area for the next 2 years for a job. I am a single 21 year old female (just graduated college), and since I plan on pursuing a further graduate degree after this job, and life is a bit unsettling right now, I guess I'm not looking for anything *too* serious friend/dating wise.

But at the same time, I'm not the most extrovert character, and since I'll be living in a studio, I'm worried that I'll have a really hard time meeting *anyone* outside of the small circle of people at my job (who will mostly be in their mid-late twenties). I also keep reading about how Boston people (like most northerners) aren't such warm people, and I don't want to spend 2 years here not really knowing anyone!

From a quick glance at craigslist, it looks like lots of people try to find workout and tennis buddies, but unfortunately, I am not really into anything sporty.

Any comments/suggestions?

Gah, I'm just having one of my freak-out moments about this big move to Boston.


PS: I apologize for starting 3 new threads in a row; but I felt like the questions were in such different categories that it would be most sensible to post them separately!

[ogre]

Well, you are in a challenging situation with regard to meeting people, but not all hope is lost. I can't relate to your situation from personal experience. When I finished college, for a few years I stayed around the town where I had been a student, so I had an existing circle of friends who were either a year or two younger and still in school or also sticking around for a while after graduating. I can't personally relate to your situation but I can imagine that this is a challenge.

When you say you're not really outgoing, I wonder what this means as far as going out and hitting the clubs. Clubbing seems to be a favorite way for young people to meet others their age. If you think you'd feel kind of awkward making conversation while being at a club surrounded by strangers, one suggestion I would make would be to patronize small eateries in your neighborhood and around Boston. I've found that being a regular customer, or even semi-regular, at a local restaurant, bar, or coffee shop naturally lends itself to seeing familiar faces among the staff and other regular customers and to making conversation, because it's a more quiet, intimate setting.

Another suggestion also relates to one of your other threads. That's the one about where you can practice your violin. In that one you pointed out that many of the colleges and musical institutions reserve their practice rooms for members of their communities. However, I'm going to hazard a guess that some research into student musical groups may turn up organizations which host events that non-students and non-members may attend, where it would be possible to meet small groups of people with similar interests. There may be a good chance for social contact there, as well as the possibility of talking to others about where you might be able to practice. In general, finding group participation in events and activities that involve your interests can be a good way to meet people. After all, you've got a shared interest as an immediate ice-breaker.

In addition to checking the colleges for musical events and student organizations related to music, you might also look over a free weekly newspaper, little bit of an alternative type publication but widely read, called The Phoenix. They will sometimes have listings for events around the local area. Many of the musical events will be rock concerts, not string quartets and the like, but if you become a regular reader, over time you'll see various possibilites for activities to participate in. You'll see The Phoenix in newsstands all over Boston. It's easy to find. Or, check out their website:


The Phoenix.

Those are a few thoughts to get you started. Good luck and congratulations on your move and your new phase of life.

[Eme19]

I'll be moving to Boston too in a couple of weeks and don't know a single soul there. I really didn't have "meeting people/making new friends" concerns until browsing this forum and others. Had no clue Bostonians had such a reputation for being cold and snobby. Now I'm kinda nervous, I'm from the south and have gotten used to the stereotypical southern hospitality everywhere I lived, Dallas, Austin, Houston and Atlanta. I just graduated so I won't have a ready set of people and social scene to dive into.

[redpanda]

Try going to meetup (.com) and running searches based on some of your interests. In another post you said you're a musician, that might be a good place to start. I think many adults are on the lookout for new friends, since it is difficult to meet people once you're no longer in school.

Of course, once you start grad school you'll probably be up to your eyelids in people.

[shiver]

Meeting people in a new city is tough anywhere you go. I have friends who moved to NYC and San Fran who had the same issue so it's not exclusive to Boston. Sometimes you can luck out where you'll meet friends through work, but for most people it's difficult. It's not like school where you're surrounded by tons of people in your age group with similar interests and goals.

You have to put yourself out there even if you're not a natural extrovert. Go to meetup.com, go to craiglist, etc. Join a book club, a kickball league. a ski club etc. Even if you don't love the activity, at least try it out a few times and see what kind of people you meet. If someone extends an invitation to a party, to happy hour - just go. You may not have fun, but you never know.

Consider looking at roommate situations. You don't have to move in with a roommate unless you find someone great, but one of my best friends is a former roommate found on Craigslist. One of my other friends met a good friend while interviewing for new roommates. The girl didn't end up moving in, but they clicked and started hanging out.

[nate14ri]

join some clubs! best way to meet new people. I'm sure you can find a club or group with similar interests you have. Ie. sports, religion, art, music, reading, theatre ect. Boston is full of people with an array of interests. Moving to a new place can obviously be daunting, but once you find your niche, I think you'll be suprised.

[LeavingMA]

The best way is to join something like others have mentioned. Get involved and hopefully you will make some friends. Your neighbors will usually not reach out to and most people will not go out of their way to get to know you and become friends. It just doesn't happen here. Many people have their own "clicks" and it can be very difficult to get welcomed in. I grew up outside of the Boston area and the kids in high school that were friends are still friends and really don't have any new ones either.

[joyo1966]

I am older than you and live on the South Shore. I have joined a Fitness group and met a TON of great folks, we so other things esides work out. I was told Bosotn was unfriendly, not finding it to be that way at all.

[sundevil978]

Hey Joyo can you tell me more about this fitness group? I also just moved here but I'm not having so much luck making friends yet. But this sounds up my alley. I moved to the Somerville area, not knowing much about Boston, maybe this isn't the right section but I'm stuck for at least a year. I haven't met too many friendly people in the area or at my gym. Normally I do find a few people to workout with whenever I've joined a new gym in the past but for whatever reason that isn't working out. Your group sounds interesting.

[^Eagle^]

Originally Posted by luckyducky87

I will be in the Boston area for the next 2 years for a job. I am a single 21 year old female (just graduated college), and since I plan on pursuing a further graduate degree after this job, and life is a bit unsettling right now, I guess I'm not looking for anything *too* serious friend/dating wise.

But at the same time, I'm not the most extrovert character, and since I'll be living in a studio, I'm worried that I'll have a really hard time meeting *anyone* outside of the small circle of people at my job (who will mostly be in their mid-late twenties). I also keep reading about how Boston people (like most northerners) aren't such warm people, and I don't want to spend 2 years here not really knowing anyone!

From a quick glance at craigslist, it looks like lots of people try to find workout and tennis buddies, but unfortunately, I am not really into anything sporty.

Any comments/suggestions?

Gah, I'm just having one of my freak-out moments about this big move to Boston.


PS: I apologize for starting 3 new threads in a row; but I felt like the questions were in such different categories that it would be most sensible to post them separately!

Extraverted women will have no problem making friends. I hope my thread didn't spook you. lol. You'll be fine.