relocating to Boston (Cambridge, Newton, Brookline: apartments, condos, crime)

[puffle]

Originally Posted by mjkw3

Our family may be possibly relocating from Michigan to the Boston area. We have lived in Michigan all of our lives and do not even know where to start looking. We have a 15 year old son entering high school in the Fall and our priority is not to scar him for life . My husband will be working in Boston but I assume we will want a nearby suburb...some of the ones I have looked at online just based on affordabililty of the houses are Brookline, Walpole, Westport and West Bridgewater. OUu priorities are excellent schools and a friendly town. Is it an Urban Legend that New Englanders are unfriendly to outsiders? If so, which are the "friendliest" towns with more "transplants"? Any info on places to look as well as places to stay away from would be greatyly appreciated!!!

I can tell you that just by the warm,helpful suggestions I have had for many months on this site, that if this is an indication of what Ma. people are like, we are in luck.

[im2005]

I think it depends largely on luck and ending up in the right town. MA is by no means a cakewalk as a transplant. True, there are very tight-knit, warm, and loyal communities...but as a new person in town it can feel a bit isolating and provincial. Expect to get some funny looks when you tell people you're from the midwest. Do your research well in choosing your location and you'll be fine!

[mjkw3]

Thank You for your patience...I know I am "all over the map" You are right...I have looked up Franklin, Lakeville, Westford and Hopkinson and they all seem to offer more house for our monoey. I am also very intrigued with Newburyport..there seemed to be some decent houses in our budget. Still weighing condo living in Brookline against more traditional suburb. Not to sound like a broken record, but am looking for whatever would be the least traumatic for a fifteen year (pretty adaptable and mature, but regardless, a fifteen year old who doesn't want to leave his friends in MI).

Thanks so much!

[puffle]

Originally Posted by mjkw3

Thank You for your patience...I know I am "all over the map" You are right...I have looked up Franklin, Lakeville, Westford and Hopkinson and they all seem to offer more house for our monoey. I am also very intrigued with Newburyport..there seemed to be some decent houses in our budget. Still weighing condo living in Brookline against more traditional suburb. Not to sound like a broken record, but am looking for whatever would be the least traumatic for a fifteen year (pretty adaptable and mature, but regardless, a fifteen year old who doesn't want to leave his friends in MI).

Thanks so much!

Going through the same thing here with my 14 year old son not wanting to leave California, even though we did live in Ma. two years ago. Just get him involved in school activities as much as he is willing and after school too and he will adjust. Is this his first move? If I can help let me know. My son has moved over five times in the last six years.

[puffle]

Originally Posted by mjkw3

Thank You for your patience...I know I am "all over the map" You are right...I have looked up Franklin, Lakeville, Westford and Hopkinson and they all seem to offer more house for our monoey. I am also very intrigued with Newburyport..there seemed to be some decent houses in our budget. Still weighing condo living in Brookline against more traditional suburb. Not to sound like a broken record, but am looking for whatever would be the least traumatic for a fifteen year (pretty adaptable and mature, but regardless, a fifteen year old who doesn't want to leave his friends in MI).

Thanks so much!

Speaking from experience with my 14 year old, I would say stick to what he is use to. If he is use to the quiet suburbs and likes the safe feel of it then I would stick to Belmont, Wellesley,Westson,Winchester,Lexington,Concord,Act on,Westford,Sudbury and Needham. These are all areas within a decent commute to Boston, although Lexington,Westford and Sudbury do not have direct access to a commuter train but all of these areas have the best schools in the best areas in the suburbs and are all beautiful New England towns. If you check the scores of these schools you will see what I mean. If you lived in more of a city feel, than Newton would be your closest town to Boston with an urban/suburban feel and very safe. Brookline is very busy,noisey and expensive with parking issues. Newton is a bit less and a bit more suburban but still close to Boston although expensive.
We cannot buy just yet but have to consider where we rent is where we will hopefully buy. My son is going into high school as well and is very upset about the move but insists he does not want to live near the city despite the convenience as he gets older. Two other great areas by the ocean that we are looking at are Hingham which has a newly remodeled high school and is very good as well as Marblehead which is much closer than Newburyport. We were thinking that being by the ocean would keep him busy in the summer and less snow for us to deal with in the winter.
What position is your husband considering in Boston if you don't mind my asking? Would he want to drive to work or take public transportation?

[mjkw3]

Thanks for your help. Where did you live when you lived in MA 2 years ago? My husband is considering a postion with an engineering consulting firm. He has been out of work for over a year now (casuality of the collapse of the auto industry...My husband can't even get an interview here...things are really bad) We have lived here all of our lives so my son has never experienced a move. He has a very tight knit group of friends here and is very involved in drama/theatre arts and sports here so it breaks my heart to have to move although it would break my heart even more not to be able to feed him

We vacationed out East a couple of summers ago and fell in love with Boston...that's why we have been considering the more Urban feel of Brookline although being close to an ocean would be awesome for him as well. The bottom line is this though...my husband's offer would have to be double what he was making when he was working here...I am blown away by the cost of housing there.

Good luck to you as well.

[scarletfire]

I know what you mean about the housing prices here. If you move further west, however, you can get a lot more for your money. Brookline is very nice but also very expensive.

[beantown2]

Hi, everyone!

Jumping in pretty randomly. Am a native Bostonian, but grew up in a farm town now sadly yuppified by over-development. Know the entire North Shore and the Merrimack Valley inside out; also worked at MIT for twelve years and lived in Boston/Cambridge then: know the city well, too. Go to any threads that have Beantown2 (me) and b alt. B alt a tremendous source of info for greater Boston. Find my threads that are about living here, not re-locating (which I'm thinking about--but ignore that stuff.) Thoughts, in no particular order:

1) Totally agree that you should try to find a town with a school system where the transition will be eased. Brookline, for example, is pretty urban and expensive, but has a TREMENDOUS school system. Why? Because just like the towns of Wellesley, Weston, Lexington, Concord, most of the Harvard and MIT faculties live there, and so are very ambitious academically--but they also have great sports and great theatre (MFA/Drama here). In many ways, best of everything: urban/suburban; close to Boston (which your son will want to explore with his new friends).

2) Much as I hate to say it, there are some affluent towns where the school systems are a mess: North Andover (my home town), and huffy Manchester-by-the-Sea (beautiful, brainy, talented daughter went there, utterly miserable; pulled her. Still has wonderful friends from the school, but ALL of them--equally bright, funny, talented, showbiz, sports kids--HATE it: marking time until they get out. Really sad. Reason? The HS is coasting on an old reputation, but system in total transition, thus total chaos. NA the same: has one of the most beautiful new buildings in the state--and is on the verge of losing its accreditation. Be careful. Andover is tremendous, so is Hamilton/Wenham. Ditto Topsfield, Boxford, Rowley--all good systems north of Boston. Pricey towns, though. Beautiful, but pricey. Newburyport has the tourists ga-ga, but is a pain in the neck to navigate in and out of; Swampscott, Marblehead ditto: but absolutely beautiful coastal towns. Swampscott has a brand new, beautiful HS. (All have good connections to Boston by train, but a pain by car.) If you look at a map, you will see all those towns are north of Boston. Know a lot less about south and farther west of Boston. Only exception is Acton--my sister was there--very expensive, but Acton-Boxborough HS has a good rep, too.

3) Be wary about schools that push AP too much--there is a huge amount of competition among driven suburban parents to turn their kids into the best and the brightest--if you aren't in all AP courses, letter in a million varsity sports, have the lead in the school plays, speak three languages, play two instruments, have multiple jobs, and bucketloads of community serrvice...well, you're an also-ran. This comes from a culture that is so competitive it is crushing the life out of some kids--they literally don't have time to be KIDS!!! Google and pay attention to thoughts on education by Marilee Jones, Dean of Admissions at MIT. Right on the button. Get to a good school system, but pay attention to what she says: it's a bellweather for where college admissions thinking will be in the next five years. Don't let the type-A parents or kids scare you or your son: carve out your own path (pronounced "pahth"!).

4) This transition will maybe be hard if your son has grown up with the same kids all his life. Get the Guidance Depts running with you: a lot of schools have school in-service programs in which "local" kids are the "buddy" for a new kid until the newbie is well-launched. Also, if you are in one town that you can afford but near another pricier with a better school, think about a MA program called "school choice:" restrictions apply, but for some families can be a good solution. Not always: one drawback is that if you live in one town and go to school in another, you are neither fish nor fowl--hard to become part of a place. Not really something I would recommend unless a school in an unaffordable town has something your son absolutely must have.

5) Re New Englanders being reserved. Ayuh. No doubt. A lot of reasons. We aren't too gregarious. Most of us are somewhat shy. When we make friends, we keep 'em: it's not shallow--it takes longer. So many people here now are "from away" that we have kind of squirreled away. I go to my old town (North Andover), which was an unbelieveably gorgeous, classic farm town, and there's nobody there I know: eighty-five farms are now eighty-five 200-home subdivisions: only three working farms left in town. So what would I do? Join a church as soon as possible. There's nothing like parish/congregation life to help a newcomer. RC parishes are the least helpful (and I'm RC) because most have a few THOUSAND families and are understaffed: it's just the scale. The smaller Protestant denomination congregations are much easier to get to know people in (all my best mother friends are non-RC, and I have done a lot of community work both with my church and in theirs: kinda fell into it, but it works!). The Jewish temples are TREMENDOUS resources: community resources second to none. So faith-based stuff, if you are so inclined, is a really, really good entry point. So is a job for your son--get a job scooping ice cream in a local place and you'll get to know everybody (not a chain: a local old-fashioned ice cream stand).

6) Moving is one of THE biggest stressors there is. Try to get here earlier than later in the summer--at least by August. No, you won't get to know people, because they will all be on vacation, but you will have some family time to unpack, explore, go to to other parts of your area (like the beaches: sunblock!!!!), the mountains, whatever. Save museums for the winter. Learn where the dumb stuff is: the Post Office, the market, the shopping malls, the movie theatres. Get used to the idea that nothing is a grid, and nothing is flat--we're more like Minnesota's lakes, Wisconsin rivers, and northern MI than flat middle-west. Rarely do we give directions by saying "Go north on blah-blah street." Blah-blah street probably doesn't have a compass-direction for more than half a mile. Get used to "Head toward Topsfield on 97and when you hit the big white church near the cemetery, take a sharp left right at the lights near the hedge. Watch for the house on the right with the purple mailbox. Right after that there's a big maple. Turn there. Cahn't miss it." Don't sweat getting lost. We all do. ....Just don't do it at night for the first six months.

7) Don't go too rural--really hard on kids: a grey February day out in the sticks is the pits (the downside of my once-beautiful farm town). Try to find a town that is within an easy commute of your husband's job but still has or is near good stuff for teens. If you don't skate or ski, learn. There's nothing like the good sharp crack of a hockey stick on a puck on a pond (at night, under a full moon, is magic).

8) Towns I would look at:
Andover
Ipswich
Beverly (grungy building but one of the best music programs in the NATION--new HS about to be built)
Rowley
Topsfield
Swampscott
Marblehead
Acton
Lexington
Concord
Brookline

Most of these towns are unfortunately sort of a "gold coast:" once affordable, now not. BUT: it's a buyer's market--big time. Used to be that Andover was out of sight. Not any more. There's a small beauty for sale in Andover for $358K: classic New England house on a small lot, but a beautiful street. Go to newenglandmoves.com. It's a good site. Sit with a map in one hand and your mouse in the other! I'm NOT a realtor: just thinking of relocating (sick of winter) or downsizing, so I check the site every so often. Point is, there are houses like that everywhere--what was $600K three years ago is now $499K; what was $450K is now $395K. My house would have been an easy $425-er three years ago, now would be pushing it to list for $390K. It's do-able if you are patient.

9) I'm a Mum, and I teach: I have never yet seen a new kid come into school in September who doesn't have friends by Thanksgiving, and by January has a crew of two or three. No, it's not the same as your old friends, and the ones you start out with as a sophomore may not be your best friends when you're a senior--they may be, but there are always new kids to meet. There are ALWAYS neat new friends in a school. So just as I would tell adults to get connected via a church or other organization, I would tell your son to launch himself into music by taking chorus, band, jazz ensemble: whatever--a fall sport if possible--and go from there. To him: whatever you do, don't be socially stupid: don't drink, don't drug, don't daredevil: the risks are awful, and you get known in the wrong way: even if you straighten out, you will have marked yourself. Try to make friends in classes, in music/drama, in sports, in school life: you will ease your own way, and it will be fine. Get to know your teachers, too! Let them know you are new--a savvy teacher won't make a song and dance about it, but will try to integrate you into everyday class life. This is where email is tremendous: all teachers have it. Just a quiet note to say "Hi--I'm new here" is all it takes.

10) GO TO A RED SOX GAME!!!

Good luck!

[puffle]

Originally Posted by beantown2

Hi, everyone!

Jumping in pretty randomly. Am a native Bostonian, but grew up in a farm town now sadly yuppified by over-development. Know the entire North Shore and the Merrimack Valley inside out; also worked at MIT for twelve years and lived in Boston/Cambridge then: know the city well, too. Go to any threads that have Beantown2 (me) and b alt. B alt a tremendous source of info for greater Boston. Find my threads that are about living here, not re-locating (which I'm thinking about--but ignore that stuff.) Thoughts, in no particular order:

1) Totally agree that you should try to find a town with a school system where the transition will be eased. Brookline, for example, is pretty urban and expensive, but has a TREMENDOUS school system. Why? Because just like the towns of Wellesley, Weston, Lexington, Concord, most of the Harvard and MIT faculties live there, and so are very ambitious academically--but they also have great sports and great theatre (MFA/Drama here). In many ways, best of everything: urban/suburban; close to Boston (which your son will want to explore with his new friends).

2) Much as I hate to say it, there are some affluent towns where the school systems are a mess: North Andover (my home town), and huffy Manchester-by-the-Sea (beautiful, brainy, talented daughter went there, utterly miserable; pulled her. Still has wonderful friends from the school, but ALL of them--equally bright, funny, talented, showbiz, sports kids--HATE it: marking time until they get out. Really sad. Reason? The HS is coasting on an old reputation, but system in total transition, thus total chaos. NA the same: has one of the most beautiful new buildings in the state--and is on the verge of losing its accreditation. Be careful. Andover is tremendous, so is Hamilton/Wenham. Ditto Topsfield, Boxford, Rowley--all good systems north of Boston. Pricey towns, though. Beautiful, but pricey. Newburyport has the tourists ga-ga, but is a pain in the neck to navigate in and out of; Swampscott, Marblehead ditto: but absolutely beautiful coastal towns. Swampscott has a brand new, beautiful HS. (All have good connections to Boston by train, but a pain by car.) If you look at a map, you will see all those towns are north of Boston. Know a lot less about south and farther west of Boston. Only exception is Acton--my sister was there--very expensive, but Acton-Boxborough HS has a good rep, too.

3) Be wary about schools that push AP too much--there is a huge amount of competition among driven suburban parents to turn their kids into the best and the brightest--if you aren't in all AP courses, letter in a million varsity sports, have the lead in the school plays, speak three languages, play two instruments, have multiple jobs, and bucketloads of community serrvice...well, you're an also-ran. This comes from a culture that is so competitive it is crushing the life out of some kids--they literally don't have time to be KIDS!!! Google and pay attention to thoughts on education by Marilee Jones, Dean of Admissions at MIT. Right on the button. Get to a good school system, but pay attention to what she says: it's a bellweather for where college admissions thinking will be in the next five years. Don't let the type-A parents or kids scare you or your son: carve out your own path (pronounced "pahth"!).

4) This transition will maybe be hard if your son has grown up with the same kids all his life. Get the Guidance Depts running with you: a lot of schools have school in-service programs in which "local" kids are the "buddy" for a new kid until the newbie is well-launched. Also, if you are in one town that you can afford but near another pricier with a better school, think about a MA program called "school choice:" restrictions apply, but for some families can be a good solution. Not always: one drawback is that if you live in one town and go to school in another, you are neither fish nor fowl--hard to become part of a place. Not really something I would recommend unless a school in an unaffordable town has something your son absolutely must have.

5) Re New Englanders being reserved. Ayuh. No doubt. A lot of reasons. We aren't too gregarious. Most of us are somewhat shy. When we make friends, we keep 'em: it's not shallow--it takes longer. So many people here now are "from away" that we have kind of squirreled away. I go to my old town (North Andover), which was an unbelieveably gorgeous, classic farm town, and there's nobody there I know: eighty-five farms are now eighty-five 200-home subdivisions: only three working farms left in town. So what would I do? Join a church as soon as possible. There's nothing like parish/congregation life to help a newcomer. RC parishes are the least helpful (and I'm RC) because most have a few THOUSAND families and are understaffed: it's just the scale. The smaller Protestant denomination congregations are much easier to get to know people in (all my best mother friends are non-RC, and I have done a lot of community work both with my church and in theirs: kinda fell into it, but it works!). The Jewish temples are TREMENDOUS resources: community resources second to none. So faith-based stuff, if you are so inclined, is a really, really good entry point. So is a job for your son--get a job scooping ice cream in a local place and you'll get to know everybody (not a chain: a local old-fashioned ice cream stand).

6) Moving is one of THE biggest stressors there is. Try to get here earlier than later in the summer--at least by August. No, you won't get to know people, because they will all be on vacation, but you will have some family time to unpack, explore, go to to other parts of your area (like the beaches: sunblock!!!!), the mountains, whatever. Save museums for the winter. Learn where the dumb stuff is: the Post Office, the market, the shopping malls, the movie theatres. Get used to the idea that nothing is a grid, and nothing is flat--we're more like Minnesota's lakes, Wisconsin rivers, and northern MI than flat middle-west. Rarely do we give directions by saying "Go north on blah-blah street." Blah-blah street probably doesn't have a compass-direction for more than half a mile. Get used to "Head toward Topsfield on 97and when you hit the big white church near the cemetery, take a sharp left right at the lights near the hedge. Watch for the house on the right with the purple mailbox. Right after that there's a big maple. Turn there. Cahn't miss it." Don't sweat getting lost. We all do. ....Just don't do it at night for the first six months.

7) Don't go too rural--really hard on kids: a grey February day out in the sticks is the pits (the downside of my once-beautiful farm town). Try to find a town that is within an easy commute of your husband's job but still has or is near good stuff for teens. If you don't skate or ski, learn. There's nothing like the good sharp crack of a hockey stick on a puck on a pond (at night, under a full moon, is magic).

8) Towns I would look at:
Andover
Ipswich
Beverly (grungy building but one of the best music programs in the NATION--new HS about to be built)
Rowley
Topsfield
Swampscott
Marblehead
Acton
Lexington
Concord
Brookline

Most of these towns are unfortunately sort of a "gold coast:" once affordable, now not. BUT: it's a buyer's market--big time. Used to be that Andover was out of sight. Not any more. There's a small beauty for sale in Andover for $358K: classic New England house on a small lot, but a beautiful street. Go to newenglandmoves.com. It's a good site. Sit with a map in one hand and your mouse in the other! I'm NOT a realtor: just thinking of relocating (sick of winter) or downsizing, so I check the site every so often. Point is, there are houses like that everywhere--what was $600K three years ago is now $499K; what was $450K is now $395K. My house would have been an easy $425-er three years ago, now would be pushing it to list for $390K. It's do-able if you are patient.

9) I'm a Mum, and I teach: I have never yet seen a new kid come into school in September who doesn't have friends by Thanksgiving, and by January has a crew of two or three. No, it's not the same as your old friends, and the ones you start out with as a sophomore may not be your best friends when you're a senior--they may be, but there are always new kids to meet. There are ALWAYS neat new friends in a school. So just as I would tell adults to get connected via a church or other organization, I would tell your son to launch himself into music by taking chorus, band, jazz ensemble: whatever--a fall sport if possible--and go from there. To him: whatever you do, don't be socially stupid: don't drink, don't drug, don't daredevil: the risks are awful, and you get known in the wrong way: even if you straighten out, you will have marked yourself. Try to make friends in classes, in music/drama, in sports, in school life: you will ease your own way, and it will be fine. Get to know your teachers, too! Let them know you are new--a savvy teacher won't make a song and dance about it, but will try to integrate you into everyday class life. This is where email is tremendous: all teachers have it. Just a quiet note to say "Hi--I'm new here" is all it takes.

10) GO TO A RED SOX GAME!!!

Good luck!

Absolutly the best post I have ever read on this or any site! Thank goodness for your detailed and precise information which is something I really needed for my own son's transition into a new school/area. I noticed that you left out the Newton schools,Winchester,Belmont and Arlington???? Would love to know your thoughts on these schools and areas. Looking forward to hearing from you.

[smarty]

Originally Posted by beantown2

3) Be wary about schools that push AP too much--there is a huge amount of competition among driven suburban parents to turn their kids into the best and the brightest--if you aren't in all AP courses, letter in a million varsity sports, have the lead in the school plays, speak three languages, play two instruments, have multiple jobs, and bucketloads of community serrvice...well, you're an also-ran. This comes from a culture that is so competitive it is crushing the life out of some kids--they literally don't have time to be KIDS!!! Google and pay attention to thoughts on education by Marilee Jones, Dean of Admissions at MIT. Right on the button. Get to a good school system, but pay attention to what she says: it's a bellweather for where college admissions thinking will be in the next five years. Don't let the type-A parents or kids scare you or your son: carve out your own path (pronounced "pahth"!).

Now that Ms. Jones has to resign, I wonder what people think about her message.

The fact that we have the highest number of college applicants and competition from around the world. Scares me. Carving out your own path is not that easy. (The ones who don't may end up working for McDonalds) What's worst is I see college kids in a hole ($100K student loan) before having their first job.