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...what do you do to be compassionate with others around you or in your community? Are you helpful and present with people in your daily life and do what you can that way? Do you work alone or with others for a specific goal (charity, some form of activism)? I'm curious how compassion comes up in your journey along the path. Myself, I'm not involved with any group or activism. I stay mindful of oneness with others and try to approach every interaction with compassion, sometimes failing. Always remembering they're just like me and being compassionate and fully there with each person I interact with everyday. It's made my life better in so many ways.
I'd like to get involved with something worthwhile. There's a local Food Not Bombs chapter in my city. They pick up food from grocery stores that are getting rid of it and cook it for the homeless in parks. I haven't made the time yet. Thoughts? Opinions?
i have no advice really, but since your post invited 'thoughts', here is the thought that i had while reading your post.
my neighbor is big into the whole 'random acts of kindness' concept. she does nice things for people on a regular basis. i know this because she tells me about all the nice things she does for people all the time. and how thankful these people are that she did such a nice thing for them. she tells me how good it makes her feel to do nice things for people, how much better her life is that she chooses to do random acts of kindness for people, especially strangers. paying for coffee for the person standing in line behind her, that sort of stuff. giving people clothes she no longer wears, helping them clean their homes and get rid of stuff for spring cleaning. she is a compulsive organizer, and has even offered to come over to my place and help me get organize my closets and get rid of stuff i no longer need. (i remember thinking: how do you know my closets need organizing?)
she is a devout christian. one day, as i was having coffee with her and her husband, she told me that her husband (also christian) had a friend who was having feelings of self doubt and was confused about choices he made in his life, i'm not sure of the whole issue. anyway, her husband gave this man a book to read, can't remember what and it doesn't matter, except that it was not a 'christian' book. she was quite annoyed with her husband for doing this, and said that because it wasn't a christian book, it would harm his friend, it couldn't possibly give him the help he needed, and that her husband should have prayed with him instead, or sent him to speak with their pastor, or given him a bible etc.
her husband just said quietly: he asked me for help, i gave him the help he asked for, not the help *i* thought he needed.
this was several years ago, but it has stuck with me. it sometimes takes a good deal of effort for me to get my own idea of 'helping' out of the way, so that i can truly give the help and assistance people ask for, rather than the help i think they need.
Interesting point. I agree we do sometimes assume the type of help we can offer is whats wanted when thats not the case. On the other hand, sometimes people need help in realizing what kind of help they need. As in the alcoholic guy who looks ill, spare changing in front of the liquor store.
Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed. - The Buddha.
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Originally Posted by cinnabar
...my neighbor is big into the whole 'random acts of kindness' concept. she does nice things for people on a regular basis. i know this because she tells me about all the nice things she does for people all the time. and how thankful these people are that she did such a nice thing for them. she tells me how good it makes her feel to do nice things for people, how much better her life is that she chooses to do random acts of kindness for people, especially strangers. paying for coffee for the person standing in line behind her, that sort of stuff. giving people clothes she no longer wears, helping them clean their homes and get rid of stuff for spring cleaning. she is a compulsive organizer, and has even offered to come over to my place and help me get organize my closets and get rid of stuff i no longer need. (i remember thinking: how do you know my closets need organizing?)
It is more than difficult for me to see most of what is described above as karuna/compassion.
Why buy coffee for someone who is standing in line with you - clearly able to buy their own coffee, rather than buy a cup of coffee for someone who cannot buy their own?
This woman strikes me as being on a giant ego trip: buying loosy-goosy ego thrills with her "random acts of kindness" [sic], and then fortifying that kick with self-promoting publicity.
On the other hand, I recall the hundreds of everyday working people in New York City, who during the height of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s volunteered as buddies/companions/home care workers to people with AIDS...this at a time when anti-AIDS hysteria was at its peak, and disinformation was spewing from hate organizations and across the internet. These people were not glory hounds as the woman above appears to be, they saw suffering and they entered into it.
There are people today who volunteer in homeless shelters, food banks and food kitchens.
And in a recent incident a possible demented man splashed his daughter who was caring for him with sulpheric acid. She ran screaming into the street, her body and clothes smoking and her skins dissolving off of her body. Some people watched.
But others got water and threw it on her, and someone covered her nakedness in a sheet, and someone called an ambulance.
A crippled pensioner I know, lives modestly and so some of his pension money remains unused in the bank. A local woman has worked for years to provided a day care center for youngsters with a combination of severe physical disability and diminished intelligence. She has struggled for years and managed to created and maintain a small center, the only one in the locality. This pensioner a number of years ago began giving her the "extra" money that he didn't spend from his pension. At this point he has been able to give her center about $12,000. No publicity, I know only because the bookkeeper pointed him out and told me the story. Imagine all the gadgets and vacations, and other luxuries that an old man could give himself for that amount.
I know another local man who postponed some elective surgery for himself in order to give payments to a day care center for a single mother who works as a waitress, and in the slack season was unable to continue to pay to keep the child in day care so she could work and still pay her rent. This man paid the day care fees up to the point where the busy money-making tourist season begins. And he did it anonymously.
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she is a devout christian. one day, as i was having coffee with her and her husband, she told me that her husband (also christian) had a friend who was having feelings of self doubt and was confused about choices he made in his life, i'm not sure of the whole issue. anyway, her husband gave this man a book to read, can't remember what and it doesn't matter, except that it was not a 'christian' book. she was quite annoyed with her husband for doing this, and said that because it wasn't a christian book, it would harm his friend, it couldn't possibly give him the help he needed, and that her husband should have prayed with him instead, or sent him to speak with their pastor, or given him a bible etc.
her husband just said quietly: he asked me for help, i gave him the help he asked for, not the help *i* thought he needed.....
I would suggest that religious proselytizing has zero to do with compassion, and I am dubious as to whether is has anything to do with "random acts of kindness" either.
yes, i agree with your assessment of my neighbor. over the years i've tried to limit 'coffeetime' with her, because it is increasingly difficult to listen to her tell me how blessed she is, the lord gave her so much so she could give to others as much as she does....and then proceed to tell me about how generous, loving, kind and compassionate she is, and that she gets taken advantage sometimes, but she can't help herself, god gave her such a big and compassionate heart.
i sometimes find it difficult to bite my tongue, i sometimes just can't believe she is really serious. i know anything i say would just fall on deaf ears, and cause serious insult to her fragile ego, her husband has tried many times but it only causes problems in their relationship when he does. she simply cannot see that her 'random acts of kindness' (now becoming the sort of phraseology that makes me cringe) are sponsored by her need to gratify and bolster her own ego. it is often astounding to me, how she is able to toot her own horn afterwards, and not have a clue as to how distorted and twisted her form of 'giving' really is.
her husband has told me that she is one of the leaders of her church club, a group of mostly women who's main objective is to 'be a light' in their community, and these sorts of 'random acts of kindness' are exactly what they promote. he says all her friends from church are much the same. he is actually quite embarrassed by her behavior i think.
she has invited me to her church, more times than i can count. says she can see i am a good person, have a good heart, and that i mean well, but.........usually followed by a long sigh. it breaks her heart that i haven't accepted jesus as my savior, she says if it were up to her and not god, i would go to heaven, because i truly am a 'good person', and actually more christian-like that some of the people she knows but alas....i am lost, until i accept christ in my heart. she continues to pray for me. i wonder if she would take all the credit for my salvation herself, were i to ever convert to christianity.
thank you for sharing the story about some of the folks you know who have clearly demonstrated selfless acts of compassion. i fight to not become jaded sometimes, listening to my neighbor as often as i do. and my extended family is comprised of mostly this sort of.....prideful christians, is the most succinct description i can come up with. much the same sponsoring attitudes due to a staggering lack of self honesty and awareness, manifested in much the same ways. it is refreshing to hear stories of real sincerity, real compassion...karuna is the buddhist word for it? i am unfamiliar.
This man lived here in Phoenix. I think his life is a great story.
He was a graduate of Purdue, a former marine, and an engineer with Allied Signal. He retired early, became homeless, giving up everything but a few possessions and invested all his money in the stock market, managing his stocks from pay phones the rest of his years. Upon his death he left 4 million dollars to different charities and NPR, which ran this article about him on their website.
I came from a very poor country so we have many charity organizations in U.S to help for those unlucky ones in our native country. I try to cut down my own shopping money to contribute most evey month. Besides, I love to send some money to many Buddhist temples in US for renovation, building up new ones. Every year, I and my friends always contribute to give free food for homeless in U.S on Thanksgiving's Day. Last Thanksgiving, I gave my check to the Catholic church where the nuns collect donation funds for building up a new kitchen to cook free food for homeless. That church is the one in Salt movie located in midtown NYC.
Sometimes, I sent check to Tibetan temples for food, books for Tibetan monks in India. Few years ago, my brother told me that he had been sending money to help Tibetan monks in Tibet. However, recently, Chinese Gov't has been trying to stop all aid from outside . My brother and I tried to contact some of our buddhist temples that usually collected money sending to Tibet before, but they said that they could not do it for the same reasons.
By the way, any Tibetan buddhist here could help us to find where we could do it ? We have too much food, and live very comfortable in U.S even we have to work hard for, since I still have jobs, I want to share with Tibetan monks over there.
My compassion for others is shown in my desire to cultivate wisdom for myself. I think this is more fundamental to living a life of awakening that simply acting in a moralistic fashion. Having said that, dana, giving without expectation of reward, is a Buddhist virtue and perfection, and an antidote to greed and jealousy.
I pick up "friends" that I know and give them a ride to the free store so they can get much needed clothes....I drop off a cooked meal occasionally....I'll buy bones for their dog....I've picked up a pair of boots for someone who's feet were always getting wet.....I'll give that change to the drunk on the sidewalk.....I'll gather baby clothes and give them to a mother in need.....I'll drop off a big box of apples to the young family with all the kids.....I'll help the old women next door harvest her fruit.....it's a never ending way to feel good about yourself.
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but alas....i am lost, until i accept christ in my heart. she continues to pray for me. i wonder if she would take all the credit for my salvation herself, were i to ever convert to christianity. 
