Why Are So Many Californians Mean, Rude, and Snobby?? (Los Angeles: homes, tornadoes)

[BSL63087]

Originally Posted by dragonten

Could it be because we are sooooo friendly,people cannot see why?
We are better looking,culturally diverse,laid back,car lovers,ocean lovers,food lovers,,,,,,,,,

There's why everyone thinks Californians are arrogant and snobby.

[RIGirl]

Originally Posted by Sweetrose

I am wondering though, does this appearance obsession run rampant through CA or more so in SOCAL? I am at a point where I am questioning my decision to have moved here. I have noticed a marked difference between those raised on the east coast versus those raised on the west coast. As well, it seems that those transplants who have been here longer are more like native Californians. Now I am NOT stereotyping all Californians but I have been out and about quite a bit and have met people from all walks of life here (I think anyway) and have found this appearance obsession to run rampant.

Can anyone tell me if there are other areas of California (coastal preferably) where substance prevails over appearance? I love CA and want to stay here but find myself so missing home and wonder if this feeling of missing substance is contributing to that. I want to stay here but am now researching other areas of the state that might have more of a home town type feel, with charm, etc., but also have the culture I crave that is so close and abundant in the San Diego area. Any ideas? Thanks!

From another quote - I don't know what I did but it didn't print as such: I was born and raised in California and I have lived in many parts of it. The obsession with looks and rude attitudes have turned me off from many of my fellow Californians. Honestly, when I was visiting Hawaii, Kansas, Nevada, people were just nicer and did not have an attitude. However, I have found that being kind and refusing to fall into the prevalent rude culture has turned some people around. They are surprised that I refuse to be obsessed with my looks and still smile and say hello to people. I found that Crestline, Ca and Big Bear, Ca are both great locales in Southern California. I also enjoyed visiting with people in Idylwild and Wrightwood, Ca because mountain people just seem to be more down to earth. On word of caution, Lake Arrowhead is beautiful, but the people have a true attitude of California looks and snobbiness and I would avoid living there if you can. People can be rude everywhere in the world, but I actually have met people from New York, the South, Northern California, etc who had less of an attitude. Many of my former friends used to tell me how my boy did not look Californian etc. Now I try to look for people who have not be zapped by the California look bug. I think the mountains locations I listed are more down to earth and slower pace. Plus the air is better up there than in LA or San Bernardino.[/quote]

M comments: I look forward to the answers to this question. I am a New England native who moved here last December but now find myself considering going home. I do love CA but find a lack of substance in people as well. I do find Californians to be a friendly lot but there is not much beyond that. I hate to stereotype and I know there are many people who must not fit the mold but I have yet to find them. I have been out and about quite a bit myself and interacted with people from all walks of life here (I think anyway) and find this appearance obsession to be prevalent.

I wonder too if there are other parts of California where this is not so. I don't want to leave but find myself leaning that way. I would love to hear from anyone who can provide some insight. Are there other east coast natives who have felt this way and if you chose to stay, how did you overcome it?

[DeniseC]

Dear Leana76,
It pains me to know that you have not had good experiences with menfolk from California. Truly, there are really wonderful folks and not so wonderful folks everywhere we travel in life but if any one reads this that is mean and rude and from California, shame on you!!!
Attitudes seem to be getting worse all over, perhaps folks feel too isolated and apathy is the result, who know?!!!
Take care or yourself and do not kiss any toads from CA!
Blessings,
Denise

[DeniseC]

I feel so sorry that so many folks seem to be saying the same thing. My feeling is that lovely folks are a bit like precious jewels; you have a bit of patience and do a bit of digging before you find the buried treasure.

A friend loves at all times.....

[LAX_Airport]

I've dated a few guys that live here, that came from California and they were just flat out rude and mean. And 1 was so damn snobby I just wanted to slap the s*** out of him!! Why is that?? Why do you guys have to act like that??

I'm not trying to offend anyone and I'm not mad or anything. I'm just damn curious about you folks.

Well Honey........
From Santa Barbara South to San Diego, "Image is everything!"
L.A. is the epicenter of the rude, snobby, etc...
I had to adapt or die.......I chose to adapt.
So Cal will soon have over 40,000 people.....(There are too many of us....so you just gotta be rude like a New Yorker.....!) People are not that rude here MS. Try Philly or NYC.....and Paris. You will see what I mean.

[zenjenn]

Uhm, Wow. I'm a native Californian, born and raised. I have lived in both Los Angeles County and Orange County.

Yes, there are a lot of image-conscious people. I am not one of them. I wear little if any make-up, I buy my clothes at Target, etc. I've always been this way. I have always gotten along fine with people of all types in California, and amount my friends I would include some who care about fashion and such, even though I don't.

I am moving out of California because of the cost of living and the crowds, and because it's true, I don't place a high value on some of the things other Californians place a high value on, so why should I pay the cost for it? I think it is true that it is a somewhat less friendly environment, but not because the people are inherently less friendly, but because there is so much sprawl and people are commuting all over the place for work, school, etc, and it leaves little time to form local relationships.

The biggest problem I'd say that can be generalized for Californians, is that they have "Californitis", and think of other states as inferior places to live. I understand why it happens.. when you plop down 700k for a mediocre house, you better be damned convinced that California is a superior place to live.

[slpaige]

Wow.... Nobody seems to have mentioned a very nice part of Southern Calif. Ventura County where I live. I have friends from all walks of life. Some are transplants from otherstates and countries others are native to CA. We come in all different shapes, sizes, colors and career paths. Rarely do I run into people who are rude and inconsiderate. Don,t get me wrong Ventura Co. has its fair share of people who are not nice. It has been my experience that if you are polite and kind than people will be that way back to you. You get what you give.

[Malcolm]

Ohh yes this is great! I lived in So Cal for 18 years after moving from Colorado and yes. Most California's are stuck up snobs and are extremely materialistic more over than other states.

I moved from California just because of snobbish crap I had to deal with on a daily basis. Everywhere were mass hootchies and snobs. On the freeway. In the market place. At work. Everywhere. They have big heads because they are loaded. I was loaded too. Don't get me wrong. But I just got discussed at everyone's response because I chose to drive an old beat up truck, let my wife stay at home, and have 5 kids in stead of the other way around: Have 1 kid, both parents work, and own brand new luxury vehicles with 24s.

I met my wife in So Cal and she's great. Not snobbish at all but there are a lot of BMW driving snobs high on Starbucks and cell phone minutes I will not deny it. More over than any other state I've lived in. And the drivers are the worst. I can prove it and I blame it mostly on the road laws and overpopulation.

I visited some family in Denver and I noticed something in Colorado. I didn't experience one road rage driver or inconsiderate driver no not one time in three weeks. Amazing. Then, and I kid you not, five minutes into the California boarder I had three near accidents NOT my fault. Idiots on cells phones in big trucks and racer cars with too much pride than they know what do to with.

There are more pricks in So Cal, I will say that. Every fifth car, where I lived in So Cal, was a BMW. If you got into an accident, there's a 1 in 5 chance you'll hit a BMW or Lexus or Benz right? Owners of those cars (most of them) are pricks when you are involved in an accident because the car is expensive whereas if you live in Marion Iowa, every fifth car is an old beat up truck and if you hit one, they usually just wave you on. The love of money produces pricks.

Californians are the peer pressure of the world. It's a silent pressure that you must have the latest car with the latest wheels, wear the latest clothes, living the nicest home and in the nicest location and raise the nicest kids YEAH RIGHT! When would any hardworking educated person have the time to raise their kids when they are in debt from having the best? Does having the best really produce the best future in your life?

Hey my dad and mom where both rich workaholics when I was growing up in so cal so don't even get me started on pad-lock kids. It’s negligence is what it is. All for what? A 60” plasma?

I just had the opportunity to visit Iowa for a day and got a great job offer. One thing I liked was not being run off the road for once. Everyone there goes the speed limit. That is pretty amazing. Just about every driver out in Southern California blows the limit by at least 15 or 20 MPH.

But in Iowa, in some places, you'll get a ticket for going 5 MPH over. HAHA! LOL! That's friken great. It's great because when your 1 month old and wife get hit by some racer SUV going 90 MPH on the freeway it's a great thing to see people not breaking the law.

I finally made the move from to Iowa in a town called Marion. Let me say after the move, WOW what a friken change. It's nice to be in a place where adults and parents worry more about their child's education and home life than BMW or Caddy's new 24" wheels being balanced right. I still can't get over it. I just love driving right at the speed limit not worrying about the flow of traffic at 90+. Maybe that's why we drive so much slower out here, because we're not worried and stressed about the BMW payments or the Caddie payments with the 24s, and our over priced mortgage as a double/triple income family that doesn't experience a true family bond because everyone works and commutes, and for what?!

I must have had 5 or 6 neighbors offer to help me move in during the week that I was getting into my new home. In So Cal, the only time I had a neighbor get into my garage to move things was the time they moved my DVD player from my SUV and my entire drum set into their car at like 3 in the morning. And they where so kind in that they didn't even wake me to tell me. They just took it all. You like that?

It was scary in So Cal to drive down the freeways not seeing Cops for months at a time. There were idiots getting killed and almost killing innocent people, like my wife and 1 month old for example, driving on the So Cal freeways. That's what you get when the force doesn't want to stick around because the city is bankrupt and overpopulated, the pay sucks, and the houses are way too expensive.

So I know what you're thinking. The job offer I got in Iowa is probably pays less and the homes are not as nice right? WRONG! The homes in Iowa, well let me just say this, California homes are built for one thing and one thing alone: BUILDER PROFIT. I know cause my dad is a land subdivider. How many stucco huts can we put in a square acre in So Cal? Profit.

Maybe it's not like that in Marion IA because we are about 48% cheaper cost of living than So Cal, so that's maybe why all the builders are not trying to make millions off young families with kids just trying to stay afloat in the ridiculous economy and job market So Cal had to offer.

I thought maybe I was going to get a pay cut when moving to Iowa. Nope. Pay raise. Common myth about So Cal is you make more. Well, maybe for some professions if you are into the rat race commute thing and you don't care about ever seeing your kids during the week, or the light of day.

Anyways, Iowa is great to me. It is. The people. The drivers. The population. The presence of Police Officers. The homes. The land. The parks. The sparse traffic. The lack of hoochies thereof. Hey, I'm straight, but if you respect women and especially your own wife and daughters, it gets kind of disgusting when the majority of women you look at all day long dress like their trying to get every male on earth to.....

So, for anyone that likes So Cal, I hope you enjoy it just as much as my family and I did which, in short, was as much in worth as the dirt that fell from my shoes as I picked up and left that rat race.

And for 'DeniseC' that posted, "Attitudes seem to be getting worse all over" can you explain to me then why, in Iowa, I have not had one person give me a dirty look because of the car I drive or number of kids I have (5 kids)? Or explain to me why no one has flipped me off for driving the speed limit on the freeway? Or why everyone on my block has bent over backward to help me with things like my move from So Cal? But the oppsite of that happened to me in So Cal. Face it! Most folks are stressed and under financial pressure and working more than one job in So Cal because of home prices and when you live that life style for too long it starts to affect those around you.

Do you know that only in a matter of only a few months in So Cal where I used to live I was:

1) Almost hit four times on foot when crossing an intersection by the same type of woman in huge SUV and they all knew they where wrong but gave me dirty looks?

2) Had three near head on collisions because another driver didn't have enough patience to stop for a red light.

3) Was ran into on-coming traffic from two guys racing their Hondas on a side road in Temecula.

4) Witnessed multiple 'pull-over and fight' scenes on the side of the road.

5) Wife and 1 month old were hit by racer punks in SUVs on the 15 and it caused her Land Rover SUV to flip a few times.

That all happened in So Cal and in the 14 years that I have lived away from So Cal, I have NEVER seen anything like it! Read the news on the latest traffic congestion polls that news corporations put out. So Cal is #1! And traffic and gridlock tend to get the best of everyone so you can't say mean people are everywhere!

[Charles]

Originally Posted by Malcolm

I visited some family in Denver and I noticed something in Colorado. I didn't experience one road rage driver or inconsiderate driver no not one time in three weeks. Amazing.....

So I know what you're thinking. The job offer I got in Iowa is probably pays less and the homes are not as nice right? WRONG!

Maybe it's not like that in Marion IA because we are about 48% cheaper cost of living than So Cal, so that's maybe why all the builders are not trying to make millions off young families with kids just trying to stay afloat in the ridiculous economy and job market So Cal had to offer.

I thought maybe I was going to get a pay cut when moving to Iowa. Nope. Pay raise. Common myth about So Cal is you make more. Well, maybe for some professions if you are into the rat race commute thing and you don't care about ever seeing your kids during the week, or the light of day.

So, for anyone that likes So Cal, I hope you enjoy it just as much as my family and I did which, in short, was as much in worth as the dirt that fell from my shoes as I picked up and left that rat race.

Face it! Most folks are stressed and under financial pressure and working more than one job in So Cal because of home prices and when you live that life style for too long it starts to affect those around you.

Makes sense to me.

Looks like you did the right thing. Sure you don't have the perfect beach weather, but how often would you go to the beach? It's a trade off. Big deal. You probably spend less time in your car than do people who live within 25 miles of the beach. You are realistic.

Got a job, right? Got a house for your family, right? Got 90% of the amenities most big cities have, right? Got high speed internet, right? Got cable, right? Not brutalized in traffic, right? Got a gym, right? Got libraries and (let's be honest now, not the greatest variety of) restaurants, right? Got hunting and fishing and other outdoor activities, right? You do? Then you are spending your time the same way 95% people paying $400-$500 per square foot are spending their time.

I'll bet there are theater arts venues in your town too. Minor league baseball team (Cedar Rapids Kernals)? Yep.

Little League? YMCA Sports? Indian Guides? Soccer leagues? Swim Leagues? Yep.

OK, there are some trade offs, but you won.

[Malcolm]

Hey Charles,
First off (to everyone) I apologize for being a prick in my own way on this posting, my pity party, and playing the victim. I'm just trying to calm down after being in So Cal for so long.

Being in eastern Iowa is the best thing for me. I just look out my back window over miles of cornfields (not miles of track homes) and take a deep cool breath. AHHHH.

But I will not deny the crap I went through and other people I knew had similar experiences too not just me.

I wasn't going to make the move to Iowa unless they had:
1) A Guitar Center store
2) A Starbucks (not 9, just 1)
3) A local mall
4) A few nice restaurants (Osaka, Outback, Bennigans, Chilies, Panera Bread, etc)
5) Quick access to real hunting and fishing. I'm from Arvada Colorado and used to do all of that fun stuff in Steamboat.

They had all of the above and more. I didn't care too much about the lack of Pro Sports in Iowa; I was born and raised in Denver by parents that were Broncos fans, I am a Broncos fan, and I will always be a Broncos fan, and so will my kids. I actually tried moving back to Colorado before but there wasn't any available work at the time.

In So Cal, I never did go to the beach all that much because I was so busy working just to meet the over inflated mortgage/cost of living and that's when I lived in a not-so-nice home 90 minutes inland from San Diego, had three degrees, and worked as an Aerospace Engineer! It’s just the home prices, including inland like mine, started to get just as expensive as the homes in San Diego and that was the straw that broke the camels back for me.

I guess if living in a rich state with great weather is #1 for you and your family (even over seeing your kids or wife on a regular basis), then So Cal is for you (unless you are independently wealthy then that's great!). It's not for everyone, but it's for some people. But I have to say I know SO many families leaving So Cal for places like Montana, Idaho, or Iowa because both mom and dad work and kids are raised by someone else - it's not even a real family - it's a pseudo-family. It's sad really and I was in that same boat but I realized that true happiness doesn't come from living in So Cal. So Cal is cool and all but not when a father and mother put living in SoCal over their own relationship with themselves or their kids. That's another reason I left because I was divorced from my family (figuratively speaking) and married to the demands of a Southern California lifestyle.