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I am having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with leaving my side of the family.
So if the other pull is to stay in Wisconsin, how does your wife feel about that?
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Even with the great experiences we have had and the personal connections we have made, the desire has not gone away and now I believe that there is something to this pull to California that is hard to ignore.
You may be idealizing the weather, supposed lifestyle or something else here. Vacationing in a place is always different than living in it.
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My side of the family has said that this is completely irresponsible of us to want to move our kids there. They have kind of lumped all of California as a wasteland and there is nothing there for us.
That's a pretty typical reaction from all of our out-of-state relatives about CA.
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We are a mixed (race) couple. I have now come to see the bubble we are living in and the lack of cultural diversity (which is very important to my wife.) My vacationing experiences in California seem more of a melting pot of diversity.
But they aren't that way in the Corona or Irvine areas, as another poster pointed out. You may be mistaking these areas with the cultural diversity found in greater Los Angeles.
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My wife...believes she knows all she needs to know about moving to California. For her, all we need to do is decide on what area we would like to live and then start looking for employment.
She's presuming a lot. Please have her look at employment figures here before you decide to uproot your middle school girls.
(Good luck. Wisconsin is a beautiful state! When our kids were little, we visited there several times and it seemed like a wonderful place to live.)
Spending a year in Americorp would be a great experience, ask to be sent to a region in the East, it will be great growth experience, my boy did that after high school. He did much good stuff.
More like a California branch. There is one in SLO too.
You want to go east, you already know your corner of the world, you want to expand your envelope of experiences, (HR people give weight to that)
My dad just told me Americorp only lasts you a year. So it's not an option I guess.
I guess all the jobs I would want would be through a government of some sort and all of which have had cuts.
All do anything government related. I heard CalTrans is a good place to go.
Cal Trans, PG&E and other private companies, County of SLO, and City of SLO are all job prospects I'm looking into locally. State-wide I'm looking at larger state jobs.
Location: San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara Counties
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Americorp is service to your country, the pay sucks, they give you some money for college at the end, it is a tremendous opportunity to see America, help people and expand your horizons.
My son went to Charleston SC
he tutored children in math, in probably the worst school district in the country
He rebuilt stone walls originally built by the CCC in Rocky Point Tennessee, he was taught dry stone masonry by the original CCC guys, still alive, still active.
He built homes for Habitat for Humanity in Alabama
He helped restore an old slave cemetery in Asheville NC
He helped at an Easter Seals camp for Autistic Children in Tennessee.
It is an experience not to be missed by any young people with an interest in their nation and in humanity.
Yeah, I don't know. Sacramento seems to have the most jobs. Cal Trans is hiring 3 environmental planners and 7 transportation planners alone.
It will be interesting to see if I can get a city planning job in three years or if I will just some other type of job to live near SLO county.
There's something I think you don't understand about white-collar employment. Getting a job is not like ordering a pizza at Domino's where you can have whatever your heart desires. You have to be flexible about where you'll work and take whatever opportunity comes your way (there won't be very many). You'll be just one of hundreds of applicants for any given job in SLO. Your chance of landing one is less than 1%. If you're married to the idea of staying in SLO more so than maximizing your potential, you'll probably end up with a career in burger flipping or taco filling.
I really don’t know what I am asking of anyone to contribute here, but any insight would be great.
My wife and I have a strong desire to relocate our family of four to California. All I have to do is say “YES” and we will start to put things in motion to make it happen. However, I am having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with leaving my side of the family. My folks have three grand children; two of them are our 12 and 13 year old daughters. The other is my sisters adopted son.
My wife and I expressed a strong desire to my folks about 2 years ago, and the guilt (me), turmoil and anger it caused was brutal. Everyone has gotten over the hurt feelings (maybe except for my wife). We decided to put the idea on hold and just see if the desire subsides. We decided to really dig in here, and got really involved in our church and have some very close friends. I have made it a point to make sure my wife sees more and experiences more of what Wisconsin has to offer. It really is a beautiful state. Even with the great experiences we have had and the personal connections we have made, the desire has not gone away and now I believe that there is something to this pull to California that is hard to ignore.
My side of the family has said that this is completely irresponsible of us to want to move our kids there. They have kind of lumped all of California as a wasteland and there is nothing there for us. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s a place they love to visit but would never live there. My wife’s mother, brother, and sister have never left California and reside in Corona and Irvine. For much of my wife’s life, she was raised apart from her brother and sister (not by her own choosing). As we are getting older, I can see the pain and sorrow she feels by not being close to them. We have been fortunate enough to come out to their areas in California every year, for the most part. We try to spend 10 to 14 days at a time when we are there. We have travelled there several times over our 14 years together. We have experienced the winters and summers there. I have loved every minute of our visits with them. I have always wondered what it would be like to live there but, vacationing there is completely different from living there. When we are there, traffic doesn’t bother me, but we are on vacation time, I am not sure how I would feel if I had to get to and from work or had to get somewhere in a timely manner.
We are a mixed couple (I white, she black). I don’t feel, see, or experience the lack of tolerance as she does. In our small town of 5000 the kids have had some derogatory remarks made to them which is weird because as far as skin color goes, they are much closer to my complexion than my wife’s. But, these kids know who my girl’s mother is. While I have thought raising our kids in my hometown was giving them a stable environment, I have now come to see the bubble we are living in and the lack of cultural diversity (which is very important to my wife.) When trying to squelch the desire for California, we have contemplated moving closer to Milwaukee so that we could be in a more culturally diverse area. There is a problem though; Milwaukee has been described as one of the most segregated cities in America. For the sake of diversity, it means quite possibly risking your safety. My vacationing experiences in California seem more of a melting pot of diversity. This is what I perceive as desirable.
So, now we are at crossroads I guess. We will start looking into the job markets and areas to live. I am a Custom Products Engineer for a bar and beverage equipment manufacturer in Milwaukee. I am not a formally trained engineer. I have learned on the job and through past job experiences that made it possible for me to have such a position here. The good stuff, I like my boss, it has been a stable job, and it pays well. The bad stuff, it is not very personally rewarding, I drive 40 miles each way (80 miles round trip), and there is no more opportunity to grow. I am 40 years old and I believe this is what I will be doing until I retire or they make more cuts. My concern of starting somewhere new, is while I have years of experience, I don’t have the paper to back it up. My wife has a Bachelor’s degree and a Master’s degree. She currently works in a research, sales and marketing capacity for a company that does employee engagement for companies in and around Wisconsin. She has also worked for a company that did research for the branches of the military. She traveled a lot for that job and had to go to Washington D.C. quite a bit to meet personal at the Pentagon and also the Canadian embassy. She really enjoyed that job. However, the salary/compensation was very low when compared to how much travel & the responsibilities she had.
My daughters are in 7th and 8th grade. My oldest loves art, very good at gymnastics (although we stopped going because of the high cost), she is very good at swimming (but didn’t enjoy the competition), and is great at cross country and distance/relay running in track. She loves to run and has no problem with competing in running sports (not sure why she did for swimming though, hhhhmmmm). My youngest is the next Disney Star wanna-be. She has star so big in her eyes that she is blinded by it. However, she loves anything with clothes, is teaching herself guitar, piano, and sings all the time (really loudly). She plays clarinet in the school band and has progressed to participate in honors band extra circular activities. Both of our girls are doing very well in school.
I am trying to be realistic about what needs to be considered/taken into account when pursuing something like this. She believes she knows all she needs to know about moving to California. For her, all we need to do is decide on what area we would like to live and then start looking for employment. While owning a home would be great, it is not a priority for us. Renting is just fine. We own a 1300 sq. ft. 2 bed, 2 bath condo ourselves and it will be difficult to sell in this market. If/when we do sell; it will be break even or possibly a slight loss.
Areas we are looking into are Corona, Irvine (because family is in both places), also Ventura County..Simi Valley, Thousand Oaks.
Again, not sure what to expect for feedback, but any insight would be great and would help us in vetting out our thoughts while we consider taking more steps.
Sit tight and wait til your girls are out of school. CA is not the best place to raise kids, particularly teens. If you are in a upper or upper middle class area there are issues with drugs & materiealism. Middle class and below and schools are packed with ESL kids. Anywhere along the range, schools in general are not very good and I doubt they'll be getting better anytime soon given the states budget mess.
Also, the economy here sucks and jobs are scarce - particularly for people in industrial fields. To be blunt - you are probably very good at what you do so please don't take this the wrong way - without a degree you face getting screened out before you can get your credentials in front of a hiring manager. Alot of HR types mindlessly screen out folks w/o a degree for alot of positions - particularly engineering. In general your job prospects may be better in the 4-5 years when things pick up.
Lastly - IMHO you have to do what is right for you & your family. If you guys think its better to move, don't worry about what your family says (or folks like me on an internet forum for that matter ) do what is right for you.
Location: San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara Counties
6,390 posts, read 9,679,297 times
Reputation: 2622
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Sit tight and wait til your girls are out of school. CA is not the best place to raise kids, particularly teens. If you are in a upper or upper middle class area there are issues with drugs & materiealism. Middle class and below and schools are packed with ESL kids. Anywhere along the range, schools in general are not very good and I doubt they'll be getting better anytime soon given the states budget mess.
Yeah, California schools suck, heck, my daughter only ACED the National AP Calculus Test and got 4's&5's on the other National AP Tests, poor kid, she suffered through 8 years of California Public Schools (the previous 4 were in another state, she nearly had to repeat the grade from where she came from, Nevada, as did her sister, as the CA schools were so far ahead of the Nevada. And, I talked with a fellow the other day who moved from an upscale Dallas neighborhood, they figured that the poor California schools would be one of the obstacles to overcome here. Their elementary age kids were struggling and nearly failing as the CA public schools were so far ahead of the "good" elementary school in the upscale Dallas neighborhood.
Don't listen to naysayers, your and your kids success in whatever they do, is in your hands, not in anyone elses.
Remember what Wayne Gretsky said, "100% of the shots you don't take, don't go in."
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) do what is right for you.
