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Old 02-10-2011, 11:46 AM
 
Location: California
16 posts, read 53,384 times
Reputation: 26

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I live in Lemoore and I just feel like I'm living a sad life. I'm in college now and ever since I've lived here I feel like I never had the opportunity to meet people I can relate to. I'm not anti-social or selective, I just don't feel any real connections. I'm 19 years old now and I was born here. I never had a chance to really experience any other type of living (excluding vacations). My family is pretty screwed up too and I really want to get out of the house. (Alcoholics)

So I was so determined to transfer to UCSD after I finish covering the required courses at the local community college here. However I'm getting that thought in my head telling me what if San Diego isn't better? What if you won't be able to find people you can relate to? What if the people you meet don't like you and you're stuck in UCSD for 3-5 years to finish getting your B.A? (I'm studying to be a computer engineer and stay an extra two years to get my masters. So I'll be there a while.)

I do know I can transfer again but I just don't want to do something I don't have to do. I'm so worried about doing things right and what's best for me. So far life here in Lemoore has not been the best for me.


As a resolution to my negative conscious I thought about transferring into Oregon. I remember being at the airport at Portland, Oregon and it just felt like home to me. Felt more warming to be there. I've also been to Spokane, Washington and it's a really big city. I remember eating at a restaurant there and I've never felt so good to be there. Restaurants in Lemoore to Fresno just don't have the same feeling.

I really didn't like my high school life either. The potential I had I never showed because I just didn't feel worthy of giving it. I didn't feel like challenging others or participating in the class. I just didn't feel like I fit in. And I was right I don't fit in.

I've been to Sandpoint, Idaho about 3 years ago to visit my father for a month. It was summer time and I really felt so happy to be alive living there. The mini-beach they had may have been full of kids pee but I didn't care it was so fun just to even be there. I felt so good. I was depressed coming back to Lemoore, California. So far in my life my greatest memories have been made in other states. Sure I've had fun memories in Lemoore.... but they just don't compare.

I don't know what the south is like but I hear great things about North Carolina and South Carolina. (Location wise; excluding budget & employment problems). I hear so many people say they hate southern accents. But I think southern accents are really attractive. I really feel like some people are missing out on more than just the accent but the people too. And that makes me feel good because that means more friends for me.

I'm so depressed right now and all I want is to be happy and to fit in. My care for finishing college is dwindling away because it just doesn't matter to me with this feeling I have. I want to go to a place where I belong. I want to live with people who I can relate to. The United States has so many states but finding where I belong is like finding true love. And how will I ever find true love if I can't be happy where I am.

At this point I really don't know what to do but I'm on the verge of giving up soon. If anyone has some advice please do share but also please don't call me a stupid boy. I'm not stupid I'm depressed and want to change my life. I don't want to end up like my parents being alcoholics. They fight so much it's like they don't even truly love each other and I refuse to trend life like they did. So if anyone has some advice please do share it is greatly appreciated.


Regards,

- Kyle
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Old 02-10-2011, 01:15 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,367,658 times
Reputation: 29064
Kyle, you're young and if you have the means, now it the time to spread your wings and try a new location, or even two or three. College can teach you just so much and there will be one almost everywhere you go so you don't have to put off your education. However, life can teach you ever so much more. Because you're young you have many good years ahead of you to change course and recover from whatever mistakes you may make. Take advantage of them!
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Old 02-10-2011, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Here&There
2,209 posts, read 3,606,378 times
Reputation: 2423
Why anyone is keen on relating to peope seems absurd to me. People, in general, kinda suck -- but I guess I'll let you formulate your own thoughts.

- Stop playing the 'what if' game, as Nike says, "Just do it". Time flies, it may seem slow when you're in your teens but damn, if you're left worrying you'll soon realize you're nearing thirty worrying about the same things; really, what's the point in doing that.
- If you're really interested in studying whatever it is you're wanting to study, don't worry about other people and focus on your own goals -- people come and go, which includes friends.
- Yes, move! I'm in a city east of you, moved here to save money and currently planning on moving out by the end of the year.
- I believe that what defines us are the actions we take, so act.

All the best.
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Old 02-10-2011, 07:47 PM
 
Location: San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara Counties
6,390 posts, read 7,627,699 times
Reputation: 2622
Employment Introduction

Start here, get hired as a firefighter, kinda like the Marines but much harder, you don't have to cut your hair, and you can quit, and the food is better.

Spend a season, put a bunch of money in the bank, make friends you will have all your life.

My college daughter brought home a bunch of girls from Poly the other day, one of their father's and I worked together decades ago, we have her picture on the wall from when she was in a ski race with my daughter, at 5 years old.

I tell you that so you can see that not only do long term friendships happen, but they can go into the second generation.
You will help yourself, you will help your country.

Go for it.
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Old 02-11-2011, 09:55 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,969,906 times
Reputation: 32387
what are you into? What kind of weather do you like? If you go to a place you love, you'll likely find people you have things in common with. I escaped the valley at 34 and my only regret is not going sooner.
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Old 02-12-2011, 08:06 AM
 
Location: California
16 posts, read 53,384 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Kyle, you're young and if you have the means, now it the time to spread your wings and try a new location, or even two or three. College can teach you just so much and there will be one almost everywhere you go so you don't have to put off your education. However, life can teach you ever so much more. Because you're young you have many good years ahead of you to change course and recover from whatever mistakes you may make. Take advantage of them!
Haha good point about the colleges Thank you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BVitamin View Post
Why anyone is keen on relating to peope seems absurd to me. People, in general, kinda suck -- but I guess I'll let you formulate your own thoughts.

- Stop playing the 'what if' game, as Nike says, "Just do it". Time flies, it may seem slow when you're in your teens but damn, if you're left worrying you'll soon realize you're nearing thirty worrying about the same things; really, what's the point in doing that.
- If you're really interested in studying whatever it is you're wanting to study, don't worry about other people and focus on your own goals -- people come and go, which includes friends.
- Yes, move! I'm in a city east of you, moved here to save money and currently planning on moving out by the end of the year.
- I believe that what defines us are the actions we take, so act.

All the best.
Haha valid points. I really want to move but I just don't know where to go. Truly I don't want to end my study but it's so hard to stay focused when I feel like I can be somewhere I love. And I feel like I have no friends people may suck but I just want to have some friends too. Some people I can relate to. Even if they suck now-days we can always stay in touch if they go via facebook or sms. Good luck on moving by the end of the year too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by .highnlite View Post
Employment Introduction

Start here, get hired as a firefighter, kinda like the Marines but much harder, you don't have to cut your hair, and you can quit, and the food is better.

Spend a season, put a bunch of money in the bank, make friends you will have all your life.

My college daughter brought home a bunch of girls from Poly the other day, one of their father's and I worked together decades ago, we have her picture on the wall from when she was in a ski race with my daughter, at 5 years old.

I tell you that so you can see that not only do long term friendships happen, but they can go into the second generation.
You will help yourself, you will help your country.

Go for it.
Haha so I move, then become a firefighter? And when I'm a firefighter I'll make really good friends? That sounds really nice but I just wonder where I can find the best firefighting state for me

Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
what are you into? What kind of weather do you like? If you go to a place you love, you'll likely find people you have things in common with. I escaped the valley at 34 and my only regret is not going sooner.
I'm into the coast but who isn't! I really like the rain and winter sports. I just am so unsure about a place to go. I really want to be around fresh air I'm tired of this air here. Where did you escape to? Maybe it's somewhere I'd like tooo.
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Old 02-12-2011, 02:25 PM
 
1,687 posts, read 5,368,903 times
Reputation: 815
Being unhappy in a hometown is nothing unusual, especially if you have been there all of your life and feel like you don't fit in. I left my small hometown elsewhere in California many years ago for college with several more stops including along the central coast before I put down more permanent roots in Fresno. (in my 20s I discovered I preferred camping after work in the Sierras to camping at the beach and transferred here for what I originally thought would be only a few years)

My wife more colorfully describes leaving her small Northern California town because it was a place where people considered "opportunity" as getting married after high school and hopefully getting a job in town someplace like the grocery store. Then if you were really lucky, one of the secretaries at an office like the local insurance agent might retire and you might get hired into a job where you could wear nicer clothes to work. Fortunately for me she moved away for college and later eventually accepted a job transfer to Fresno (like I did) so we could meet.

As I've matured and hopefully become wiser, I've discovered my happiness is less influenced by external factors like places, things and people and more influenced by my own actions and thoughts.

Plus my choices have allowed me to do things that have real meaning and importance to me and also be more financially secure. But those are my choices, priorities and actions, not what someone else might chose to do.

I actually in many ways enjoy my life in the SJV more than I did in larger cities or along the coast. But back then I was younger and the external world of what others (like so-called friends) said or did had more power over my happiness.

For you `Kyle I offer 2 pieces of advice at this stage of your life.
1) Do not be afraid to take a chance on a change. Yes it might not work out but you already feel your current situation is not what you want. No choice we make is perfect, we simply work to make the best of it or make a new choice. Do not fear being wrong, instead fear doing nothing.

2) Work to find the things inside you that make you happy. By defining your life in terms of external factors you give control over your life to the external world. People, places and things can make your life either better OR worse but they cannot necessarily make you happy. Happiness is a power we have to find inside ourselves.
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