Fear of moving to CA, please help (Los Angeles, San Diego: insurance, new home)

[justsomeguy]

Originally Posted by MoonShadows

I was hoping someone could help me. I am trying to figure out why I have this fear. It's really stupid. But I have this fear of going to California. I have no idea why. I've never been there before. I keep thinking that there is alot of drug use there, I keep thinking the crime rate is extremely high, that it's over populated. That it doesn't take care of its land, that its overly expensive and you don't get paid alot, there a re no jobs and so on. I'm not sure if thats all it. I mean CA seems wonderful and has everything there that I am interested in, but I have this HUGE fear of going or moving there I'm trying really REALLY hard to overcome this and i'm not sure how to. I was hoping a few people could give me some advice. Like how to confront it, the reason why I am afraid of it. I'd really appreciate it!

Oh and it doesn't have anything to do with being comepletly on the oppisite site of the US and like 3 days travel from where I live (NY). Because I am thrilled about Oregon and would love to move there. I think i'm more worried about raising a family there and i'm really REALLY connected with nature and I know Oregons goverment takes care of its land and well I just don't know if CA does. I'm going to research it but it would help if I got others opinions.

This is such a bizarre post. How are we supposed to answer your question without more specifics? Where in CA are you looking to move to? What kind of jobs are you planning on getting? You are scared of rampant drug use and high crime? So weird...you sound like a foreigner or something coming to America for the first time, not an American. But to answer your questions as best I can, I think the more forested areas and the lower-crime, environmentally conscious, and high asian population parts of California are all up North. Which is close to Oregon, coincidentally. So stay out of Southern California and look only at Northern California.

[nay624]

I am leaving SoCal because I dont want to raise my daughter here. My husband are in our early 30's and have lived here all our lives. Were Leaving for all the reasons you fear Ca to be. I live in Riverside BTW. If you come out here.....Northern Ca.

[Woof]

The fear of the cost of living moving to California is very appropriate. Yes, Santa Cruz is a place where you can find gorgeous redwood forests near several nice beaches ..... but you'd be lucky to find a one-bedroom apartment for less than $1000, and even that might be in the more slummy section of town. Plus they want more up front anywhere along the central/southern coastal cities of California .... I used to live in central NY, and remember how there you could get a cheap apartment and split up the security deposit over several months, and nobody really checked references.

That's not likely to happen in central/southern coastal California. You may be able to get away with putting $2000 to move in to a cheaper apartment, but it might be first, last, security, application fee to get into a more desirable place. And they do check references, credit check, and you usually will have to sign a year's lease. If you are stuck with the apartment from hell, you can't always get away with just running out on it .... I did that once and took a hit against my credit rating.

It's all too easy to become homeless in California.

Visit first, check out places to live before moving there. See if there is work for your fiance and yourself. Here's a suggestion: Fly out to San Jose, rent a car, and drive to Santa Cruz (Santa Cruz and northward is where you'll find beaches .... cold beaches .... and thick forests. Drive along Highway 1 and 101 as far as you care to go, budget $100 per day or night for cheap motels and food, check out the local classifieds in the cities and towns you go through. Then go back home in total shock.

[CADRMNDANES]

I don't blame you for wanting to get out of Buffalo, NY. I have friends that live there. Not to much fun when you get those scary snow & ice storms.
There are some places in Northern CA that might work. But I think you should spend some time here checking it out first.

[NDA]

You should stay in Buffalo. A change in region probably won't change your feelings of distress, you'll just have a new region to blame. Your fiance is happy where he is.

[JerZ]

Call it new-age-y, but if I had a basic dread of a place not even having seen it, I just wouldn't put it on my list of possibilities.

Yeah, I know, that would leave out a whole possibility, etc., etc. but you actually said fear and I just don't think the vibes all around this situation could be good.

Also, if you dislike Buffalo, keep looking, but on the east coast. Disliking one town doesn't mean you have to move 2800 miles away. I don't get that reasoning. Why not peek a bit south, like Maryland or whatever?

Some people come to one part or another of California and LOVE it and literally never look back. But other people get a weird "this isn't my vibe" feeling and now are stuck. Moving *back to* a place you relocated *from* is often financially impossible, or at least very very difficult, because the initial relocation sets you back as it is. Moving costs, etc. And then possibly one or both of you not having a job for a period of time...housing being higher...wear and tear on the car from commuting, along with frequent oil changes and tuneups from that same wear and tear...you could be set WAY, and I mean WAY back if you just come out to California sight unseen for a change of pace. Then you'll just never have the funds to move back, yet won't quite have the funds to "make it" here, and will find yourself dipping lower and lower in your circumstances. No, I'm not saying that WILL happen, but that it most definitely could.

My aunt spent ten years trying to get back to the east coast from the west coast.

Don't jump right into California. Even if you plan to go out once or twice. You can NOT make a huge decision like this on just one or two visits. Those visits will be vacation. Of course they'll seem fabulous. You just really need to be a lot more rational about this than your post indicates. Good luck and I hope you find the place of your dreams.

[UseJeff]

Moonshadows, look up the city Foresthill, CA. It's about 20 minutes north of Roseville/Rocklin which are basically shopping and restaurant suburbia. You're at the base of the mountains leading to Tahoe. You're 30-60 minutes from Sacramento (depending on time of day you travel), and a touch over an hour from Tahoe. The beach is about 3-4 hours if you ever feel the need to do that for a weekend, and San Francisco is within 2 hours as well. You won't find much crime in that area at all. It does snow some up there in the winter, but coming from Buffalo it will be a joke. (I grew up in Montana)

Housing values are taking a hit up there as well, so there will be some great opportunities for property, and in addition most plots are large in comparison with the suburb areas... so as long as you don't mind using a lawnmower you'll have a nice space.

If it wasn't for the commute I'd probably look at a house there myself. I've been in CA for 7 years now, and city to city it's not much different than the biggest city in Montana. The main difference is people tend to ignore each other in general here, compared to where I grew up.

[mom on the hill]

There are some really beautiful forested areas near Sacramento, etc. on the 5 fwy up north of Sacramento. Specific city names to look at are Auburn and Rocklin. Small communitites that are surrounded by forest. The poster that replied with Calaveras county was right on as well. It seems that your fear is probably of Southern California. And you'd be right to avoid this area if you fear drug use, crime, sprawl, etc. We've got it all here...and it seems to get worse. However, Northern California is much nicer. More beautiful, more green, lots of nice folks, etc.

I know that this reply comes about a week after your initial post, so I hope that you are still able to read it and get some info that is useful. I encourage you to come and visit and look up those cities and counties on the web. You're sure to find someplace that you both can agree on. Just stick north of Sacramento and you should be in Cali Heaven....

Good luck to you!!!

[kettlepot]

Originally Posted by MoonShadows

I am trying to figure out why I have this fear. It's really stupid. But I have this fear of going to California. I have no idea why. I've never been there before. I keep thinking that there is alot of drug use there, I keep thinking the crime rate is extremely high, that it's over populated. That it doesn't take care of its land, that its overly expensive and you don't get paid alot, there a re no jobs and so on..... but I have this HUGE fear of going or moving there I'm trying really REALLY hard to overcome this and i'm not sure how to.

The reason you have this fear is because for the past 10 - 20 years there has been an unofficial underground movement to bad mouth the state of California in all respects, and in all venues, so as to discourage new people from moving here.

This movement has been encouraged online in blogs, over the air on the radio and on TV, and in opinion essays in newspapers.

The result is that the small areas of blight are given huge play in the media and in movies, and all the normal safe places where 90% of the people live are given no airtime. It's done to California's reputation what the movie the Out of Towners did for New York City.

And apparently within the United States this rebranding of California has worked, as Americans are no longer net immigrants into the state. However, outside of the country the migration flow still comes, and comes, nearly a million every year.

[aamazing75]

Fear California, go to Oregon. You will be struggling here and will live in an apartment for the rest of your life and pay too much for health ins. & car ins. and everything else. God forbid something bad happens and you are financially ruined because you were barely scraping by to begin with, even if you do have a good career or collegde degree. We are leaving to Tennessee in a week from Cali and my parents will eventually move to Oregon or Washington. The future here is dismal.