What should I doooooo!???? (gay, time, people)

[Dean Trails]

Gees, $500/month will get you a tent in the Occupy City Park movement. Finish your schooling and get your resume in order. Better yet have a job waiting for you here in the Golden State. Best wishes for you sailor!!

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by upstatenykid

Another major reason I would love to move out to California is to find my true self..CA seems to be a rainbow friendly state

Eh, I'm assuming this means you're gay?? Just be careful with this idea. Your true self is within you right here right now. You don't need to go anywhere to find it but within. There are plenty of books at the library or online resources to help you with this as well as churches or support groups.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't come here, but just be aware that there are plently of gay men who come here with unrealistic fantasies of how wonderful it will be and if they don't have their heads screwed on straight (no pun intended), they run into a lot of trouble. I found out the hard way that gay men can be as cruel to each other as straight homophobes.

[upstatenykid]

Thanks to those with the positive outlook! I would like to finish school and get my bachelors degree though the problem is I don't know what I want to study exactly...I'm leaving public policy and heavily considering studying environmental science...that's why I would take part of a volunteer/internship program thats located in Santa Cruz. I would get real experience of what I would be majoring in, making my decision better. IMO there's no point of hurrying to finish a degree that isn't fulfilling and promising...especially in this job market. Also I think taking the semester off would finally give me time to find myself..yknow? I plan on returning to NY when I decide on what to major in, thinking fall 2012.

And yes, I've posted a few times trying to get input on what would work best for me. It's a big decision to move over 3,000 miles away from family and friends to a wonderful place not knowing anyone...ya? Anyways, I'm in the process of finding house to share...quite a few options out there that fits my budget though it feels risky moving out there without meeting the people first...gotta start somewhere!

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by upstatenykid

Thanks to those with the positive outlook! I would like to finish school and get my bachelors degree though the problem is I don't know what I want to study exactly...I'm leaving public policy and heavily considering studying environmental science...that's why I would take part of a volunteer/internship program thats located in Santa Cruz. I would get real experience of what I would be majoring in, making my decision better. IMO there's no point of hurrying to finish a degree that isn't fulfilling and promising...especially in this job market. Also I think taking the semester off would finally give me time to find myself..yknow? I plan on returning to NY when I decide on what to major in, thinking fall 2012.

And yes, I've posted a few times trying to get input on what would work best for me. It's a big decision to move over 3,000 miles away from family and friends to a wonderful place not knowing anyone...ya? Anyways, I'm in the process of finding house to share...quite a few options out there that fits my budget though it feels risky moving out there without meeting the people first...gotta start somewhere!

CA isn't overly friendly, but people, especially younger people, are open to meeting new friends. A lot of people who live here moved here from somewhere else, so that helps. If you are willing and able to get along with roomates, that is generally the best way to go. Although I would always check out a place and roommates in person before handing over any $$$.

As far as changing programs goes....can't really advise you there other than to say the transition cost sounds awfully high. Be hard nosed about it and make sure there's a high probability of a solid payoff if you do it. We don't need any more people drowning in student loan debt than we already have.

[katnip kid]

Originally Posted by upstatenykid

Thanks to those with the positive outlook! I would like to finish school and get my bachelors degree though the problem is I don't know what I want to study exactly...I'm leaving public policy and heavily considering studying environmental science...that's why I would take part of a volunteer/internship program thats located in Santa Cruz. I would get real experience of what I would be majoring in, making my decision better. IMO there's no point of hurrying to finish a degree that isn't fulfilling and promising...especially in this job market. Also I think taking the semester off would finally give me time to find myself..yknow? I plan on returning to NY when I decide on what to major in, thinking fall 2012.

And yes, I've posted a few times trying to get input on what would work best for me. It's a big decision to move over 3,000 miles away from family and friends to a wonderful place not knowing anyone...ya? Anyways, I'm in the process of finding house to share...quite a few options out there that fits my budget though it feels risky moving out there without meeting the people first...gotta start somewhere!

I'm a bit confused. You want to return to NY? I was under the impression this was maybe a permanent move. My bad.

Something to consider is savings. With this economy, if you go through all that $$, is may be difficult or impossible to aquire that much cash again. You are fortunate to have that much cash so young. Heck,that is the down payment on a home. In some places, you could purchase a home for not much more. Be careful! That savings does give you options, I realize. I hope your dreams come true, and you find, well, goodness.

As for majors, yeah, why study something you have no interest in. Been there, done that. Oh yes. A friends son (age 23) is going through this very thing. We told him to follow his heart's desire, you are young, you have time to explore, to learn, to pursue and accomplish, and yes, to make the mistake or two that all of us make. I know I wish I had studied my passion sooner in life, heck, it would have made quite a nice career.

I know you know all this, just had to comment.

I don't know how to say this, but be careful about taking time off. I did that to find myself, and found myself in some rather bad circumstances! Oh, some of what I found! In the end, it was quite a mistake, and a major setback. I want to be careful here, because I realize what works for one won't work for another, and taking time off may just be what works for you, but wanted to share because some of what you write about sounds so familiar.

By rainbow, I am assuming you are gay. If that is the case, if you feel there is nothing for you where you are, can you start something, say a gay students club? I second what mysticaltiger said earlier. Gays can be very cruel to one another, esp. if they see someone young, vulnerable and nice. I found that out! Very sad, one would think it wouldn't be that way, but it is.

I hope your dreams come true, and you find happiness where you go.

[katnip kid]

Another thought, too, is that with such a high savings, you may not receive financial aid, or maybe not as much.

[upstatenykid]

Yeah I'm hoping I'll have a solid decision made on what to study by the fall time...I dont plan on attending any colleges in California unless I end up figuring out a plan and staying..I currently have no student debt and my goal is to get my degree without any debt(I am entitled to the G.I bill). As for my savings, I have long saved up since I got a job at 16, though I think it'll be well worth spending it living out in California...its been piling up for a while and I'm set on materialistic fabrication...
Thanks for the intake on deciding a major, katnipkid. This is the first time I'm going to be taking time off from school...which honestly I dont want to do, but also not jumping to major in something I dont have passion in....You had a bad experience by taking time off?...want to tell me why if its in relation to my situation? Lastly, yes I want to come out as gay...where I live now just seems oppressing(homophobic friends,family,rednecks,basically awkwardness...lol) and ugh idk...being in new territory where your bound to not know anyone would seem to be easier of coming out and finding yourself...

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by upstatenykid

Lastly, yes I want to come out as gay...where I live now just seems oppressive(homophobic friends, family, rednecks, basically awkwardness...lol) and ugh idk...being in new territory where you're bound to not know anyone would seem to be easier of coming out and finding yourself...

This is probably true. Just be aware that the gay male community isn't as warm and fuzzy as the gay rights activists would lead you to believe. Espeically in places like San Franicsco, the rate of HIV infection etc. is pretty high. Those most prone to getting it are young men in their 20s (i.e. the ones who think "It won't happen to me").

[upstatenykid]

Originally Posted by mysticaltyger

This is probably true. Just be aware that the gay male community isn't as warm and fuzzy as the gay rights activists would lead you to believe. Espeically in places like San Franicsco, the rate of HIV infection etc. is pretty high. Those most prone to getting it are young men in their 20s (i.e. the ones who think "It won't happen to me").

Never was inspired by any gay rights activists...I understand the precautions to take in such lifestyle...I bet your right such a large liberal city would have a high rate of hiv...appreciate the bigoted viewpts

[jaijai]

Originally Posted by upstatenykid

Never was inspired by any gay rights activists...I understand the precautions to take in such lifestyle...I bet your right such a large liberal city would have a high rate of hiv...appreciate the bigoted viewpts

I think that you have mysticaltiger all wrong in regards to your sarcastic comment about him being a bigot toward gay men if that's what you were implying.
It's best not to make assumptions.
just sayin.