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Old 04-09-2015, 08:09 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,062 posts, read 106,967,400 times
Reputation: 115848

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tonygeorgia View Post
California divorce law states that if you are married for 10 years and divorce, your spouse will receive lifetime alimony. What if you are married and then you move to California. Lets say I beeb married for 9 years in Iowa, we both moved to California and divorce in 2 years. Will it be lifetime alimony even though we only lived in California 2 years? Thanks!
Why doesn't your spouse work? Why would s/he need alimony?
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Old 04-09-2015, 08:29 PM
 
Location: So Ca
26,593 posts, read 26,478,904 times
Reputation: 24536
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonygeorgia View Post
California divorce law states that if you are married for 10 years and divorce, your spouse will receive lifetime alimony.
Please don't post inaccurate information.

"The duration of spousal support is left to the discretion of the court within certain general equitable principals and guidelines most often set forth in common law case histories. The circumstances vary from person to person, but the courts rarely favor “lifetime support.” How is Alimony Calculated in California? | California Divorce Guide
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Old 04-09-2015, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Boulder Creek, CA
9,197 posts, read 16,775,133 times
Reputation: 6373
Don't get married, don't pay alimony. Simple!
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Old 04-09-2015, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Boulder Creek, CA
9,197 posts, read 16,775,133 times
Reputation: 6373
Quote:
Originally Posted by CA4Now View Post
Please don't post inaccurate information.
Unless it's the old predictable woman-bashing, angry man rant. Then it's OK, right?
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Old 04-09-2015, 11:17 PM
 
1,770 posts, read 1,649,110 times
Reputation: 1735
I would absolute vote to reform alimony. Spouses owe nothing to each other after a divorce.

Last edited by Iaskwhy; 04-09-2015 at 11:27 PM.. Reason: grammar
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Newport Coast, California
471 posts, read 597,965 times
Reputation: 1141
Of course for, its only logical in the modern age. We've outlawed slavery. In a state where you already divide the property 50/50, it's absurd that one person would have to keep working to support someone who they are not in a relationship with.

Alimony reform is being pushed surprisingly by women, why? Because more and more women are being forced to pay alimony. Gay couples are starting to fall into the same boat, and also pushing for changes.

Many are "shocked" to see how unfair the system is. One woman couldn't believe that she had to support her husband who cheated on her, wouldn't work, and then got half of everything, plus she had to pay him money each month. He cashed in his "lottery ticket" and divorced her, then he shacked up with a girlfriend so he'd still get alimony. Plenty of stories like that, just now, its hitting women, so understandably they're angry.

Lifetime Alimony is tantamount to slavery, so it should never be allowed.
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:38 AM
 
3,555 posts, read 4,367,389 times
Reputation: 6240
I have an unfortunate story about this subject for which I have no one to blame but myself.

Twenty-five years into our marriage, our relationship staled to the point of irreconcilability. Our children had by then entered adulthood, yet still needed the stability of our house while they completed college. My ex-wife was not yet ready to stand on her own feet when she petitioned for divorce.

Given these circumstances and the fact that I harbored no ill will towards the mother of my children, I suggested we file for legal separation instead of divorce. This would allow her continued healthcare coverage under my employer sponsored plan. As part of our legal separation, I agreed to continue paying the mortgage for 6 years and give her X-amount of cash for living expenses during that time period. In my mind, 6 years would be enough time for our children to finish college and give my ex-spouse enough time to become self supporting. After the 6 year period, we were to sell the house, give her all the equity from the sale, and go our separate ways. Again, this was all done with the intention of fomenting a civil and friendly post marriage relationship. During this time, I moved in with a nearby friend and stayed in touch with my ex as I helped her work towards self-sufficiency.

Prior to the end of the 6 year period, I met someone whom I could build a future with and might someday want to marry. I informed my ex-spouse that I needed to file for divorce given the possibility of a future marriage. She complied with the divorce which, with our mutual consent, changed nothing in our legal separation decree.

A few months before the end of the 6 year period, my ex-spouse took me to court and was awarded an exorbitant amount in permanent spousal support (PSS). In addition, I was ordered to pay PSS in arrears and 70% of her lawyer fees.

She now owns a house free and clear and works part-time 4 days per week. She lives a stress-free life of leisure.

I on the other hand, will have to work well past my projected retirement year and will never be able to purchase a house again due to the huge PSS I am forced to pay for life.

My good intentions meant nothing in court. The unfairness of her predicament vs mine meant nothing in court.

It is high time such lopsided injustice ends.

Last edited by chacho_keva; 04-10-2015 at 09:57 AM..
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:42 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
12,287 posts, read 9,772,387 times
Reputation: 6509
Quote:
Originally Posted by chacho_keva View Post
I could write a sad novel about this subject for which I have no one to blame but myself.

Twenty-five years into our marriage, our relationship staled to the point of irreconcilability. Our children had by then entered adulthood, yet still needed to stability of our house while they completed college. My ex-wife was not yet ready to stand on her own feet when she petitioned for divorce.

Given these circumstances and the fact that I harbored no ill will towards the mother of my children, I suggested we file for legal separation instead of divorce. This would allow her continued healthcare coverage under my employer sponsored plan. As part of our legal separation, I agreed to continue paying the mortgage for 6 years and give her X-amount of cash for living expenses during that time period. In my mind, 6 years would be enough time for our children to finish college and give my ex-spouse enough time to become self supporting. After the 6 year period, we were to sell the house, give her all the equity from the sale, and go our separate ways. Again, this was all done with the intention of fomenting a civil and friendly post marriage relationship. During this time, I moved in with a nearby friend and stayed in touch with my ex as I helped her work towards self-sufficiency.

Prior to the end of the 6 year period, I met someone whom I could build a future with and might someday want to marry. I informed my ex-spouse that I needed to file for divorce given the possibility of a future marriage. She complied with the divorce which, with our mutual consent, changed nothing in our legal separation decree.

A few months before the end of the 6 year period, my ex-spouse took me to court and was awarded an exorbitant amount in permanent spousal support (PSS). In addition, I was ordered to pay PSS in arrears and 70% of her lawyer fees.

She now owns a house free and clear and works part-time 4 days per week. She lives a stress-free life of leisure.

I on the other hand, will have to work well past my projected retirement year and will never be able to purchase a house again due to the huge PSS I am forced to pay for life.

My good intentions meant nothing in court. The unfairness of her predicament vs mine meant nothing in court.

It is high time such lopsided injustice ends.
It is always bohica when you are a man in divorce court
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Old 04-10-2015, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Altadena, CA
1,596 posts, read 2,046,335 times
Reputation: 3004
Quote:
Originally Posted by chacho_keva View Post
I have an unfortunate story about this subject for which I have no one to blame but myself.

Twenty-five years into our marriage, our relationship staled to the point of irreconcilability. Our children had by then entered adulthood, yet still needed the stability of our house while they completed college. My ex-wife was not yet ready to stand on her own feet when she petitioned for divorce.

Given these circumstances and the fact that I harbored no ill will towards the mother of my children, I suggested we file for legal separation instead of divorce. This would allow her continued healthcare coverage under my employer sponsored plan. As part of our legal separation, I agreed to continue paying the mortgage for 6 years and give her X-amount of cash for living expenses during that time period. In my mind, 6 years would be enough time for our children to finish college and give my ex-spouse enough time to become self supporting. After the 6 year period, we were to sell the house, give her all the equity from the sale, and go our separate ways. Again, this was all done with the intention of fomenting a civil and friendly post marriage relationship. During this time, I moved in with a nearby friend and stayed in touch with my ex as I helped her work towards self-sufficiency.

Prior to the end of the 6 year period, I met someone whom I could build a future with and might someday want to marry. I informed my ex-spouse that I needed to file for divorce given the possibility of a future marriage. She complied with the divorce which, with our mutual consent, changed nothing in our legal separation decree.

A few months before the end of the 6 year period, my ex-spouse took me to court and was awarded an exorbitant amount in permanent spousal support (PSS). In addition, I was ordered to pay PSS in arrears and 70% of her lawyer fees.

She now owns a house free and clear and works part-time 4 days per week. She lives a stress-free life of leisure.

I on the other hand, will have to work well past my projected retirement year and will never be able to purchase a house again due to the huge PSS I am forced to pay for life.

My good intentions meant nothing in court. The unfairness of her predicament vs mine meant nothing in court.

It is high time such lopsided injustice ends.

I'm sorry to hear this. You were married to an evil, corrupt and greedy person.
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Old 04-10-2015, 10:30 AM
 
3,555 posts, read 4,367,389 times
Reputation: 6240
Quote:
Originally Posted by MItoBH View Post
I'm sorry to hear this. You were married to an evil, corrupt and greedy person.
She claims to be a God fearing Born Again Christian. She says God is her provider. I beg to differ.

Logically, I have severed all communications with the mother of my children whom are in total disagreement with their mother's actions and the unreasonable amount I am forced to pay her for life. I was sincerely looking forward to a harmonious post marital relationship with the one who bore our beloved children.
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