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Old 04-14-2015, 02:32 AM
 
3,555 posts, read 4,374,080 times
Reputation: 6250

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For those of us who've been ordered by the California Court System to pay lifetime alimony to our former spouses, please see the links below.

Signatures are being collected to place this initiative on next year's ballot.

With your signature and willingness to pass this on to others, there is a glimmer of hope that this injustice may someday be modified into something more equitable. Please see the following website:

Home

If you favor alimony reform, please sign and circulate the petition below:

MoveOn Petitions - Alimony Reform

Thank you kindly.
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Old 04-14-2015, 06:37 AM
 
Location: Newport Coast, California
471 posts, read 598,637 times
Reputation: 1141
Excellent. This reform is desperately needed and it will come.

More and more women and now gay couples are being pulled into the alimony slave trap and are waking up to the insanity of 21st century slavery.

Its absurd to force someone to work for the express benefit of another in which there is no ongoing relationship.

When people divorce, let the assets be split, as this a community property state, and let people go their separate ways.

I remind people that say a hard working woman could come home and find her willfully unemployed husband with another women, he could have the affair right in front of her, then he could divorce, he'd get 50% of everything PLUS she would have to continue to pay for him for life. He'd never get remarried because he'd never want off the gravy train. She'd be his lifetime slave, while he shacked up with a rotating set of girlfriends.

Unbelievable in the 21st century.
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Old 04-14-2015, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
16,289 posts, read 32,239,939 times
Reputation: 21890
Allimoni = all the money.

I guess it is cheaper to keep her. Life is not perfect and people have problems from time to time. Too late to fix those issues if you are allready divorced. I say men love your wives, hold them close, keep them by your side and then make sure that you out live them so you can get some young 20 something to help you spend the remainder of your days with. LOL
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Old 04-14-2015, 09:05 AM
 
25,619 posts, read 36,563,976 times
Reputation: 23293
Half n half split the sheets down the middle and everyone go their separate ways. End of story.

That might mean hiring attorneys and forensic accountants to make sure all assets are known.
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Old 04-14-2015, 09:56 AM
 
3,555 posts, read 4,374,080 times
Reputation: 6250
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenZephyr View Post
Excellent. This reform is desperately needed and it will come.

More and more women and now gay couples are being pulled into the alimony slave trap and are waking up to the insanity of 21st century slavery.

Its absurd to force someone to work for the express benefit of another in which there is no ongoing relationship.

When people divorce, let the assets be split, as this a community property state, and let people go their separate ways.

I remind people that say a hard working woman could come home and find her willfully unemployed husband with another women, he could have the affair right in front of her, then he could divorce, he'd get 50% of everything PLUS she would have to continue to pay for him for life. He'd never get remarried because he'd never want off the gravy train. She'd be his lifetime slave, while he shacked up with a rotating set of girlfriends.

Unbelievable in the 21st century.
I agree. From what I've been told, many women are victims of this arcane system.

Hope you will sign the petition and pass it along.
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Old 04-14-2015, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Altadena, CA
1,596 posts, read 2,049,773 times
Reputation: 3004
Alimony is akin to a welfare check. It enables and encourages the recipient to not work or marry. I'm female and if I were to get married (which I would like to do one day), I have too much pride to be financial dead weight to my ex-husband. I would have no problem with signing a pre-nup that would protect him financially, but also would not leave me destitute. Some people are just greedy and lazy and want money and wealth at any cost.
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Old 04-14-2015, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Altadena, CA
1,596 posts, read 2,049,773 times
Reputation: 3004
Quote:
Originally Posted by ebn78 View Post
As a proud and law abiding born American and I hate to admit this but our women have become so bad here. Almost all my single buddies will not under any circumstances be involved with an American woman and I hope you will do the same. Better yet a lot of single men with money travel outside the U.S. to other countries where women seem less hostile, less bossy, less feminist, etc.

Please don't generalize. Not all American women are selfish, lazy, gold-digging pigs. I'm certainly not. But I agree, the ones you have encountered has given us a bad reputation.
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Old 04-14-2015, 10:17 AM
 
3,555 posts, read 4,374,080 times
Reputation: 6250
Here's my personal reason for wanting to bring some form of change to the current California alimony laws:

Twenty-five years into our marriage, our relationship staled to the point of irreconcilability. Our children had by then entered adulthood, yet still needed the stability of our house while they completed college. My ex-wife was not yet ready to stand on her own feet when she petitioned for divorce.

Given these circumstances and the fact that I harbored no ill will towards the mother of my children, I suggested we file for legal separation instead of divorce. This would allow her continued healthcare coverage under my employer sponsored plan. As part of our legal separation, I agreed to continue paying the mortgage for 6 years and give her X-amount of cash for living expenses during that time period. In my mind, 6 years would be enough time for our children to finish college and give my ex-spouse enough time to become self supporting. After the 6 year period, we were to sell the house, give her all the equity from the sale, and go our separate ways. Again, this was all done with the intention of fomenting a civil and friendly post marriage relationship. During this time, I moved in with a nearby friend and stayed in touch with my ex as I helped her work towards self-sufficiency.

Prior to the end of the 6 year period, I met someone whom I could build a future with and might someday want to marry. I informed my ex-spouse that I needed to file for divorce given the possibility of a future marriage. She complied with the divorce which, with our mutual consent, changed nothing in our legal separation decree.

A few months before the end of the 6 year period, my ex-spouse took me to court and was awarded an exorbitant amount in permanent spousal support (PSS). In addition, I was ordered to pay PSS in arrears and 70% of her lawyer fees.

She now owns a house free and clear and works part-time 4 days per week. She lives a stress-free life of leisure.

I on the other hand, will have to work well past my projected retirement year and will never be able to purchase a house again due to the huge PSS I am forced to pay for life.

My good intentions meant nothing in court. The unfairness of her predicament vs mine meant nothing in court.

It is high time such lopsided injustice ends.
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Old 04-14-2015, 10:26 AM
 
Location: San Diego
50,116 posts, read 46,715,694 times
Reputation: 33953
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE View Post
Allimoni = all the money.

I guess it is cheaper to keep her. Life is not perfect and people have problems from time to time. Too late to fix those issues if you are allready divorced. I say men love your wives, hold them close, keep them by your side and then make sure that you out live them so you can get some young 20 something to help you spend the remainder of your days with. LOL
I used to really frown upon people cheating, now I see why they do it. Because if they actually leave their spouse they will be financially ruined! So, they stay in their miserable lives all the while getting it on the side.
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Old 04-14-2015, 10:38 AM
 
Location: DFW/Texas
922 posts, read 1,104,513 times
Reputation: 3800
I am in favor of alimony reform. Women AND men receiving a constant flow of money for the rest of their spouse's lives does nothing but promote a sense of entitlement and lack of self-sufficiency. My in-laws are going through a divorce right now and my FIL pays my MIL a lot in spousal support each month already. It's funny, after reading this thread I realized something about my MIL- she hasn't gotten a job since she stopped being a nanny to her daughter's children 18 MONTHS AGO. When we all ask her what kind of job she's wanting to get and even helping her with applications, etc, she skirts around it. Now I realize that she doesn't want to get a job in order to keep a larger amount of alimony/spousal support and keep her income at nothing. That is just wrong.

While my FIL was in no way near a good husband- he was a serial cheater- I don't believe that my MIL is entitled to LIFETIME support. She worked off and on throughout their marriage and CHOSE to stay with him in spite of his affairs. My FIL was a louse for not honoring their marriage vows but at the same time, my MIL had plenty of opportunities to leave and have a more peaceful life. She has admitted that she was always scared to really leave him because she was used to his salary and could go buy an outfit whenever she wanted to and shop, etc, not to mention the consistent hope that he would somehow change his ways. Now, apparently, she is being super frugal and "watching her pennies". She was also on the receiving end of a monthly check from her wealthy parents for years but because that money is considered inheritance, it isn't part of their assets. So she has a nice, healthy nest egg to fall back on.

My FIL has told my husband and I that he feels he's being "taken to the cleaners" and all we've told him is to do his research and protect his retirement because we don't want to be responsible for him. He also told us that their divorce will be final by the end of 2015...perhaps he should delay things a bit longer so he has a chance of not having to fork over a huge amount of his salary each month for the rest of his life. My God, so much makes sense now.
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