What in the Hell Happened to Modesto? Help me Understand & process. (San Diego: best neighborhoods, condo)

[hitheryonder]

Pardon my language. I'm just expressing some of the cultural shock that I've been experiencing since moving back to the small town of Modesto in which I'd spent a few years growing up (late 1980s-early 1990s). My husband was laid off from his job and we wanted to flee the high COL present in our former city, San Diego. We're still in our early 30s and decided to stop complaining and move.

We saw the housing prices in the Modesto, I remembered my own idyllic experience there as a child and wanting to give that to my own children, we decided to move. We were somewhat assured because we had family moving back to the area as well. We decided to share housing with said family while becoming better acclimated to the area--jobs, schools, best neighborhoods, etc. I am traditionally educated (BA & beginning grad school) and he is well experienced in his trade which is still in demand in metro areas. We knew that in terms of employment we might need to look either closer into the bay area or Sacramento. We thought we'd keep our expenses down until we found employment even if it meant a commute and enjoy the lower COL. We are currently living on our savings and I will admit that has been easier to do here than in SD.

I pictured the same somewhat bucolic, overall SAFE, very middle class setting of my childhood. I admit I was lost in the fantasy. We are African American and I will also admit that when I would hear people mention issues of safety(with no actual crime stats), I would think that maybe they were using "safety concerns" as a euphemism for just an increase of brown faces with no real issues present.

I feel like a fool: the gang activity is beyond anything I've ever experienced and I lived close to LA county AND in a major city of over 1 million people. We took my daughter to the emergency room last night with an acute respiratory issues and even in the private hospital there was a gang scuffle! We currently live in a "nice" part of the city but there really is no "nice" part of the city (Northwest?). Everyone seems so poor--there is NO middle class that I can see. The air quality has caused my husband's latent asthma to become an issue and we all have upper respiratory infections. There are no community/ family activities to distract from the general misery. A "maybe" we might have a long commute has turned into a definite in terms of jobs. Everyone has tattoos and looks like they're extras from that Sons of Anarchy show or holdovers from 1980s East LA. The elementary schools? Don't get me started.

We moved from a nice condo with an incredible view in a very affluent area with incredible schools four miles from the beach to this?!?! We lost our MINDS! In truth, we were scared with the layoff and we always said we wouldn't stay in a pressure cooker situation allowing things to just happen to us--we'd move. What seemed to be such a take charge, "cool", and brave idea has turned out to be a stupid as hell decision. We bet the house--(actually sold the house) and we lost abysmally...what do I do? I feel trapped and now we are shy about moving again for fear of making a larger mistake.

[Bulldogdad]

Welcome back to the Valley.

[genjy]

As long as I've lived, I don't think I've ever read/heard anyone praise Modesto.

[sjnative]

Originally Posted by hitheryonder

I pictured the same somewhat bucolic, overall SAFE, very middle class setting of my childhood. I admit I was lost in the fantasy. We are African American and I will also admit that when I would hear people mention issues of safety(with no actual crime stats), I would think that maybe they were using "safety concerns" as a euphemism for just an increase of brown faces with no real issues present.

But now your eyes are open.

And you probably don't need an explanation about what happened because you're surrounded by the consequence.

So, what can you do? This time you can plan your next move more deliberately. Don't make assumptions about what a given metro area is like. More importantly, look at its trajectory.

If you really want a lower COL, you may want to look outside of CA. Many have and they've found both a lower COL and a higher QOL outside of this state's borders.

[Biz901]

What in the Hell Happened to Modesto?

Illegal immigration, gangs and liberal politiks.

[Ruth4Truth]

Yeah, blame it on liberal politics, that's a good scapegoat. ^^^ As opposed to conservative political economics that has been working hard to eliminate the middle class and lock people into the underclass.

[Dean Trails]

Originally Posted by hitheryonder

I feel like a fool: the gang activity is beyond anything I've ever experienced and I lived close to LA county AND in a major city of over 1 million people. We took my daughter to the emergency room last night with an acute respiratory issues and even in the private hospital there was a gang scuffle! We currently live in a "nice" part of the city but there really is no "nice" part of the city (Northwest?). Everyone seems so poor--there is NO middle class that I can see. The air quality has caused my husband's latent asthma to become an issue and we all have upper respiratory infections. There are no community/ family activities to distract from the general misery. A "maybe" we might have a long commute has turned into a definite in terms of jobs. Everyone has tattoos and looks like they're extras from that Sons of Anarchy show or holdovers from 1980s East LA. The elementary schools? Don't get me started.

Buck up and tell yourself you aren't a fool. That is a positive step then look at the opportunities you do have. You are young and getting the education you need to succeed.

I have had relatives in Modesto for the last 30 years and i understand you very clearly. Modesto has been overtaken by another less civilized, polite culture.

If it is at all possible you might try the Santa Rosa area north of SF. It has some of the same feeling as "old" Modesto. Plus, you are closer to more big city amenities and lower housing costs. That is the first city that came to mind and there are many others that you can explore on this forum.

Try not to be too depressed but start researching a move to a place somewhat brighter!!

[Biz901]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

Yeah, blame it on liberal politics, that's a good scapegoat. ^^^ As opposed to conservative political economics that has been working hard to eliminate the middle class and lock people into the underclass.

Well, since I'm an AMERICAN and not a DumboRAT or a GOPher, I can't really comment on the insanity of conservative vs. liberal politiks in the USofA.

I Believe in a FREE economy without FRAUD; and RULE of LAW, i.e. STRICT protection of the Rights of ALL lawful citizens to Life, Health, Liberty and the pursuit of Property/Happiness.

Without a doubt, the HORRIFIC results of the DumboRAT/GOPher oligarchy speaks for itself, although the electorate doesn't seem to be listening and/or learning from the ongoing collapse of our social fabric and the general economy...

[Fontucky]

Originally Posted by hitheryonder

We saw the housing prices in the Modesto

But didn't connect the dots...

Originally Posted by hitheryonder

I remembered my own idyllic experience there as a child and wanting to give that to my own children, we decided to move. I pictured the same somewhat bucolic, overall SAFE, very middle class setting of my childhood.

*cough* Thomas Wolfe

[Mr5150]

Originally Posted by hitheryonder

I pictured the same somewhat bucolic, overall SAFE, very middle class setting of my childhood. I admit I was lost in the fantasy


..what do I do? I feel trapped and now we are shy about moving again for fear of making a larger mistake.

You are not trapped, unless you chose to be trapped.

Plan your next move. Research, visit.

Oakdale. Check it out. Might remind you of your childhood memories.