California attitude: Is it like this in the entire state? (Oakland: neighborhoods, buyer)

[MarciaMarshaMarcia]

Originally Posted by David Aguilar

Hmmm....then why don't you go back?

Well, if I could turn back the clock, and all my friends & family had not died or moved away, & make the place look like it did about 20 or more years ago...I would...

[EclecticEars]

In the OP's defense, also, I can believe anyone who says they have met standoffish, conceited people throughout San Diego County. That county is one of the largest producers and attractors of surly, conceited, ill-mannered people in the United States. And I've seen a lot of the United States.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by EclecticEars

In the OP's defense, also, I can believe anyone who says they have met standoffish, conceited people throughout San Diego County. That county is one of the largest producers and attractors of surly, conceited, ill-mannered people in the United States. And I've seen a lot of the United States.

OK. We'll write off San Diego. Thanks for the heads-up.

[lovecrowds]

California is far from the friendliest IMHO. But for the Western United States it is better in comparison.

I find San Diego to be standoffish, quiet and polite. I don't think it's easy as a city where people just start a conversation with people they don't know but it's certainly nothing compared to some western cities when it comes to rudeness.

Las Vegas and Phoenix are a hundred times worse then San Diego when it comes to attitudes.

Los Angeles isn't bad either compared to other western cities. I certainly don't find it friendly but I find the city to have an aloof, politeness about it.

If one wants awful people live in Riverside or San Bernadino Counties or Las Vegas which is an extention of the Inland Empire.

Most people in the Inland Empire are materialistic fake people who are very stressed and try to make others as unhappy as they are. Most people in the Inland Empire are all about having babies and big houses.

At least with California as the state has 39 million people there are pockets of friendliness and decency. There is a bit of every personality trait in California

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by lovecrowds

California is far from the friendliest IMHO. But for the Western United States it is better in comparison.

I find San Diego to be standoffish, quiet and polite. I don't think it's easy as a city where people just start a conversation with people they don't know but it's certainly nothing compared to some western cities when it comes to rudeness.

Las Vegas and Phoenix are a hundred times worse then San Diego when it comes to attitudes.

Los Angeles isn't bad either compared to other western cities. I certainly don't find it friendly but I find the city to have an aloof, politeness about it.

If one wants awful people live in Riverside or San Bernadino Counties or Las Vegas which is an extention of the Inland Empire.

Most people in the Inland Empire are materialistic fake people who are very streesed and they try to make others as unhappy as they are.

At least with California as the state has 39 million people there are pockets of friendliness and decency. There is a bit of every personality trait in California

Any reason you left out the central coast, the Bay Area, and the north coast, not to mention the Sierras? And Santa Barbara? I always enjoyed Santa Barbara.

[SoCalbound12]

I don't understand the point of these threads that pop up every few weeks or so. I've lived all over the country: Minnesota, Georgia, Virginia, and California and there is absolutely nothing wrong with Californians. They are not as warm and friendly as Georgians are, but for the most part they leave you alone and don't talk to you unsolicited which was a big issue for me personally in the South. But all in all I find that some people aren't happy no matter where they live and no matter where they go they find rudeness and unhappiness. Sometimes the attitudes you receive are a reflection of yourself.

[EclecticEars]

Originally Posted by SoCalbound12

I don't understand the point of these threads that pop up every few weeks or so. I've lived all over the country: Minnesota, Georgia, Virginia, and California and there is absolutely nothing wrong with Californians. They are not as warm and friendly as Georgians are, but for the most part they leave you alone and don't talk to you unsolicited which was a big issue for me personally in the South. But all in all I find that some people aren't happy no matter where they live and no matter where they go they find rudeness and unhappiness. Sometimes the attitudes you receive are a reflection of yourself.

There are plenty of jerks in OC, L.A., Modesto and the Bay Area, and there are also plenty of nice people. I did fine socially in these places.

San Diego...while it does have nice people, I encountered more jerks as a percentage there than I have in the aforementioned California locales. It truly has one of my least favorite collections of people I've encountered anywhere in the world. I honestly didn't see what was so great about the place except for the weather, which is a SoCal staple anyway; and, the stereotypical San Diego "laid-back" vibe can still be found in most places along the coast from San Clemente to Santa Barbara! Even the Mexican food is better and Mexican influence is stronger in Los Angeles.

[sacite]

Transplants always seem to characterize "Californians" based upon the region that they are living in, but those analogies are pointless considering there are so many different social climates in this state. The social vibe can be completely different between two adjacent counties (for example, Sonoma and Marin) let alone two completely different geographic regions, such as northern and southern California. I'd say if you don't like the particular area of San Diego that you are in, try Encinitas or another beach town. Maybe the vibe is different.

[pgrdr]

Originally Posted by sav858

Yeah I didn't really get it either. Don't get how someone is self-absorbed because they don't watch ESPN and can't tell you to get it or not.

The OP was referring to a complete lack of interest in helping the newcomer or offering to get them information, versus having a problem with the fact the person doesn't watch ESPN or TV.

I'm a younger version of the OP's same generation and I experience a lot of that now. I'm struck by how often I ask a question of someone I am doing business with and the other person gets a blank look, or a disconcerted look, and then they just say they don't know, and that's the end of the discussion. It's as if people doing business have become unused to customers/clients asking questions of any kind and they are either offended, disconcerted, annoyed, or embarrassed when they don't know the answer, or they don't want to take the time to answer.

When I did medical social work, worked in restaurant and retail customer service, and worked in elementary schools (all of which are really "customer service" jobs), I trained staff that when relatives of patients, or parents, or customers asked a question, staff members were to never answer with "I don't know" and leave it at that. Even if they don't the answer because it isn't their job to know, the person asking doesn't know that. Just saying "I don't know" and leaving it at that is rude and makes the other person feel like the person they asked has no interest in them and just wants to get rid of them. It makes them feel awkward at best and offended at worst.

The person providing the service is the one expected to be in the know. So, the answer should be, "I can't answer that reliably, but I will find out for you." Then go find out and get right back to the person. Or, " I don't know the answer to that. Let me go find someone who does." And then go find someone who does and either make sure that person goes straightaway to answer the question or you take the answer back to them.

Just, "I don't know" is never acceptable, unless one wants to come across as a jerk-wad or incompetent.

[pgrdr]

Originally Posted by Tulemutt

Or, it may be this thread is made to start an uproar - um, over nothing?

There is no "uproar" if people just contribute and answer questions (no matter what the questions are) respectfully and thoughtfully, and if they can't, just don't participate at all.