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Old 04-18-2016, 11:28 PM
 
1 posts, read 4,719 times
Reputation: 27

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We recently moved to California and are astounded by the attitudes we’ve encountered. We’d like to find a place in the state that is different. But if it is like this in all of the state, we’ll be moving on. Hope you can help us find an un-California attitude in California. Here’s our experience:

In San Diego county we went to an open house and as we were looking out the living room window at the interstate, the haze and the neighbor’s house, the owner came to us and said “Do you know what you’re looking at?” No hello, or my name is....
He obviously thought he had something much more wonderful than he did. Conceited.

We rented a house in San Diego county and asked the owner if we should be getting standard cable channels like ESPN. She said “I don’t know. I don’t watch ESPN.” Clearly if it didn’t matter to her, why would it matter to anyone else. A very self-absorbed person.

While renting a place in Palm Desert, a neighbor decided to help herself to the outdoor hose of our rental. When we checked what was going on she said, “Do you have something to say to me?” No hello or explanation. We consider this very rude.

We found that most people don’t smile or laugh and engaging them in a conversation is difficult. We find these people not only rude, self-absorbed, and arrogant, but shallow and devoid of personality. We sometimes feel that we can reach out and tip them over because they must be made of cardboard with no substance behind them.

We find that people don’t joke around and understand sarcasm. We give it and take it, and we find this fun. Californians look at us with blank stares when we do this. We encountered a transplant from Brooklyn (no, we don’t want to go there) who told us he has the same experiences. He warned us that Californians “don’t get the joke.” It’s true. So far we would find it hard to make friends in any of the places we’ve been.

We are open to trying different places in California, but if the whole state is like this, we’re gone. Suggestions on other places to try would be appreciated.
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Old 04-18-2016, 11:50 PM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,452 posts, read 11,428,298 times
Reputation: 12307
You appear to prefer much more formality in your social interactions than is usually the standard in California.
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Old 04-19-2016, 12:03 AM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 13,979,154 times
Reputation: 25884
With the exception of the self-entitled loon using your hose without permission, I don't see anything wrong with what you described on here. I've never found Californians particularly unfriendly; in fact, I often find them easier to like in general than Oregonians (well, maybe I'd better restrict that to Portlanders, as I can't speak for the rest of Oregon).

I don't know what you'll discover in the rest of the state where "attitude" is concerned, but you'll certainly learn that the rest of it is NOT like L.A. or San Francisco like so many people assume. Way of life differs radically from one point of the state to another, in every way imaginable.
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Old 04-19-2016, 12:36 AM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,257,058 times
Reputation: 20402
California is as varied as it is large...

I've never lived in a home with cable so I don't have a clue... I manage rentals and would say my tenants know far more about viewing options than I do with my rabbit ears.

I host exchange students from Europe and everyone has been very impressed about how friendly people are... total strangers offering to help and provide suggestions and even taking them under their wing.
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Old 04-19-2016, 12:46 AM
 
Location: Dothan AL
1,450 posts, read 875,893 times
Reputation: 991
It may be the times more than the place?
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Old 04-19-2016, 09:36 AM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
12,572 posts, read 15,041,157 times
Reputation: 12118
Not in the entire state, but around most of the big cities. And, not everyone is that way.
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Old 04-19-2016, 09:56 AM
 
162 posts, read 158,091 times
Reputation: 189
The oddest examples ever.......
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Old 04-19-2016, 09:57 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
15,453 posts, read 25,401,064 times
Reputation: 8919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesmama View Post
With the exception of the self-entitled loon using your hose without permission, I don't see anything wrong with what you described on here.
Yeah I didn't really get it either. Don't get how someone is self-absorbed because they don't watch ESPN and can't tell you to get it or not.
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Old 04-19-2016, 10:03 AM
 
Location: On the water.
12,877 posts, read 7,521,143 times
Reputation: 10346
Quote:
Originally Posted by OldDocKat View Post
It may be the times more than the place?
Or, it may be this thread is made to start an uproar - um, over nothing?
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Old 04-19-2016, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Orange County, CA
763 posts, read 636,271 times
Reputation: 1209
You either come from a very different social culture than what's common in the pseudo-urban suburbs or you yourself may be pretty self-absorbed, maybe even with a chip on your shoulder because:

In the first example, the owner may well have been trying to be helpful by asking if you wanted to know what the views outside were of. As for introductions, you don't need his name because you either already know from doing research on his house as a prospective buyer or you don't need to know because if you have no interest in proceeding with the purchase, you'll never see him again anyway. He probably sees a lot of people visiting his open house.

In the second example, it sounded like you got a matter-of-fact reply that doesn't waste anybody's time. Do you expect everyone to be a spokesperson for ESPN? What exactly did you want from someone who doesn't subscribe to ESPN because they never wanted it?

For the third example, that encounter was just plain oddball from my point of view so at first I would agree that's unfriendly and unwelcome. But then there's your inconsistency: You wanted cozy neighbors who are friendly with each other and now you're protesting that they borrowed your hose for what had to be less than a minute. You didn't mention if you ended up defusing that attitude with a smile and the same verbal engagement that you're seeking.
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