Ever considering leaving CA quietly, without making a big scene? (San Diego: apartment, rent)

[streetscenes]

We have raised two kids in Southern CA. One in college and one on her way. When the kids are done with school we will probably downsize and we often talk about where to go. It's a frequent conversation when we travel, "Could we live here?"

Grew up in TX and go back frequently, not moving there. Just came back from a college tour trip in Seattle, a maybe but I don't think I could take the short days in the winter. Central Coast, definite possibility. Oregon, maybe. Arizona or Nevada, nope. As we approach this next chapter in life we will be taking extended trips and seeing what we like and don't like.

Bottom line, I have no idea where we will end up. We will always cherish our time in CA and we hope to use the equity we built to start somewhere new. And there is a good possibility that we don't go anywhere.

[BeauCharles]

Derek, if you can stand the rain there's always the coast of Oregon and Washington. Real Estate prices are considerably lower than the Monterey Peninsula. I'm kicking around the idea of selling my home and moving up there in a few years for retirement and was surprised to find quite a few listings even in my relatively modest budget.

[Tulemutt]

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[CaliRestoration]

Yeah, I agree. If you're going to leave, or do something, just do it.

Forget the ultra dramatic performance threads, just go.

The truth is unless you're net worth is above $5 million, you're probably struggling and sacrificing to stay in California. Why put yourself through that if you have options?

[Tulemutt]

Originally Posted by CaliRestoration

Yeah, I agree. If you're going to leave, or do something, just do it.

Forget the ultra dramatic performance threads, just go.

The truth is unless you're net worth is above $5 million, you're probably struggling and sacrificing to stay in California. Why put yourself through that if you have options?

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[bentstrider]

Originally Posted by norman_w

The other states problem with Californians is that there's so many of them.

That's why I do my research and try to find the last place many of them will flock to.
Being from the CA desert, NM was probably the best fit. If you keep the move quiet here, it's best to do as such when you get to the new spot.

[Ruth4Truth]

OP, I love your love of California, and how you express it!

If you do move out-of-state, I hope you come back, for more photography.

You'll probably find the WA rainforest coast a photog's paradise, btw: the beaches w/their rock formations, the mossy rainforest, not to mention the dolphins in Puget Sound, etc. If you move there, that is.

[TacoSoup]

Originally Posted by Independentthinking

Unfortunately, there are just as many overly sensitive people that are bothered by constructive criticism that use comments like yours as a way of avoiding a conversation. Kinda like the people who can't refute a comment so they use the classic "haters gonna hate" to get out of a conversation. A cowardly approach. There are plenty of reasons people leave. Many of which have nothing to do with "bitterness".

Not really bothered, just making an observation I've seen dozens of times over by acquaintances and employees of mine who love it out here only to bash it on there way back home with their tail between their legs. Obviously people leave for all sorts of reasons, and California isn't for everyone, but most point out what they did like on their way out. I guess it all comes down to what type of person you are, someone that's happy in life, or someone that is bitter. I still stand by my comment that people that bash it are bitter.

[aslowdodge]

Some people may be bitter, but I would say that just because someone says something that isn't rainbows and unicorns about California, it isn't unwarranted bashing. Sometimes it's just the truth.

" California is so expensive" response: "Stop bashing California. You're a bitter loser."
" California has a large homeless problem" response: "Stop bashing California. You're a bitter loser."
" California's roads are in poor shape" response: "Stop bashing California. You're a bitter loser."

The list goes on. All these are truthful statements, not just bashing. I'm not bitter about California at all. I still visit about 6 to 8 weeks a year and enjoyed living there all my life. I enjoy my visits. Just because I believe those comments are true doesn't mean I am bashing it, just stating the facts. I left not because I am bitter, I just found a better way of life that suits my particular needs by moving.
Other states have issues too. Where I live now has issues and if someone brings them up I don't consider it bashing, just speaking the truth.

[roadwarrior101]

I think whether California is the best place to live is highly subjective, as others have stated. I moved back to the Bay Area from Arizona, where I went to grad school, even though I had job offers in both locations (Bay Area job paid 20% more). Here was my perspective at the time:

-I knew coming here that I would not be able to buy a house right away, as I would've in Arizona
-Long term, I felt there would be much better career opportunities. This was very important to me as I was looking to grow/develop in a new career.
-Weather was somewhat of a factor, but not the be all end all. Summers were much easier for me to tolerate in SF vs Phoenix (although colder than I'd like), but for the rest of the year, I thought Phoenix had SF beat. Wasn't the driving factor for me.
-All the cool things to do living in SF and all the choices for weekend getaways (Napa, Sonoma, Tahoe, Yosemite, Monterey, etc.) highly outweighed what was nearby in Phoenix (maybe Sedona?)
-Lots of family nearby and lots of my friends from grad school moved here.

Here is what changed in the 12-13 years since that time:

-I got married and had kids. I'm no longer interested in city life and a night out for my wife and I to a good restaurant and wine bar does it for us (this can be done in any major metropolitan area)
-Most of my friends from grad school moved away to start a family. Some of my family has also moved away and others are considering it.
-We moved to the suburbs for a good school district. Again, this can be found in any major metropolitan area
-My commute is very long. Probably would be lessened in most other cities, due to lower COL. This makes a big difference in quality of life, in my opinion.
-We really don't get to do the weekend getaways very much any more with all of our work/family commitments. Most major cities do have some fun things to do nearby and if not, the Bay Area is always a plane ride away (we'd probably do these things at about the same frequency as before).
-We are both much more established in our careers. We live fairly comfortably here and would likely be much more comfortable elsewhere. As long as we're in a major city with a lot of job opportunities, we'd be more than fine.
-Weather seems even less of a factor than before. I've traveled a lot for work and believe I can handle the heat, thunderstorms and some cold. I'm still a little hesitant about moving to a frigid climate (e.g., upper Midwest). Aside from that, I think I could be flexible.
-Traffic and day to day pressures (cost of living, crowds) have gotten far worse than when I moved here. It was always impacted, but its just so much worse here with no signs of relenting. That has a major impact on quality of life.

So, my wife and I are seriously considering relocating when the right job opportunity comes around. I think its a misnomer to say that anyone who wants to move cannot hack it here. Everyone has their own unique situation and shouldn't be bashed if their views on the Bay Area / California are not the same as yours.