Tehachapi for gay couple? (San Diego, Bakersfield: crime, loans, lawyer)

[caldje]

I am considering taking a new job in tehachapi and I just had a couple of questions.

1) I will be moving with my soon to be husband. One of the reasons we are moving is because we are so happy to be able to get married this october. However, we are wondering if tehachapi is the right place for us. We are not necessarily looking for a 'gay friendly' town. I mean, we dont need a parade. But we do want to make sure we wont be bothered because we are different.


2) Winters.. How long are the winters? Is it always cold in the winter or are there some times where you can wear a tshirt and jeans in february? How often do you find yourself stuck in tehachapi, unable to drive 58 (or just scared to drive 58)?

3) My (future) husband has no particular training. I visited starbucks and all of the restaraunts, kmart, home depot, etc. in town. It SEEMS there are plenty of places for a young unskilled laborer to find work. Is that true??

The area is beautiful, and my job sounds great.. so I am looking forward to hearing the truth from you guys. I just ask that you not sugar coat anything, as I will be signing a 2 year contract at work.

Sincerely,
Chris

[mini_cute]

Wow, that is kind of boonie land isn't it?

Anyway, I am happy that you guys can get married! Congrats!

P.S. Ever consider moving to beautiful San Diego, the city with the best weather in the nation? *wink*

[caldje]

Originally Posted by mini_cute

Wow, that is kind of boonie land isn't it?

Anyway, I am happy that you guys can get married! Congrats!

P.S. Ever consider moving to beautiful San Diego, the city with the best weather in the nation? *wink*

Its not far from Bakersfield, and they'll pay back all of my school loans, completely tax penalty free. If somewhere in San Diego would do that Id be there in a heart beat. :-D

Chris

[california5]

Originally Posted by caldje

I am considering taking a new job in tehachapi and I just had a couple of questions.

1) I will be moving with my soon to be husband. One of the reasons we are moving is because we are so happy to be able to get married this october. However, we are wondering if tehachapi is the right place for us. We are not necessarily looking for a 'gay friendly' town. I mean, we dont need a parade. But we do want to make sure we wont be bothered because we are different.

Tehachapi is a friendly but conservative town. Everyone tends to keep their sexuality to themselves, so as long as you aren't flaunting it, you should be fine.

2) Winters.. How long are the winters? Is it always cold in the winter or are there some times where you can wear a tshirt and jeans in february? How often do you find yourself stuck in tehachapi, unable to drive 58 (or just scared to drive 58)?

Winters aren't as bad as back east, but they are cold. Occasionally we will warm up to the 50s in February, but it goes back to being cold. It's cold from November to April, January to April are the snowiest times, in my experience. The 58 will close with snow at times. We just watch the weather and don't go out of town for the day if snow is forecast. Usually the roads are clear by late morning, so we've never been stuck.

3) My (future) husband has no particular training. I visited starbucks and all of the restaraunts, kmart, home depot, etc. in town. It SEEMS there are plenty of places for a young unskilled laborer to find work. Is that true??

The area is beautiful, and my job sounds great.. so I am looking forward to hearing the truth from you guys. I just ask that you not sugar coat anything, as I will be signing a 2 year contract at work.

Sincerely,
Chris

There are opportunities for unskilled labor, but a lot of places just aren't hiring right now.
Tehachapi is a beautiful place, the weather is great and the people are friendly. We moved here 3 years ago with no regrets.

[caldje]

Originally Posted by california5

Tehachapi is a friendly but conservative town. Everyone tends to keep their sexuality to themselves, so as long as you aren't flaunting it, you should be fine.

What classifies as flaunting it? I mean, it will probably be noticeable when two young guys move from ohio together and do everything together won't it? I mean, we dont carry rainbow flags or make out in the streets or even hold hands i guess..(its a shame the world is this way) but many people's definitions of 'flaunting it' include simply keeping to ourselves but not lying to anyone if they ask. Ya know?

Tehachapi was great.. I enjoyed my visit. It'll be nice to be able to still have winters while having a more temperate climate than northern ohio at the same time. It was beautiful and has everything you would need on a daily basis, making a trip to Bakersfield rarely a necessity. It really is kind of perfect for my fiance and I. I just hope we dont get lynched by a mob for being the new gays in town. The nature of my profession involves public exposure, a decent ammount of people will know me and I wont want to lie about who I am. Any thoughts?

Sincerely,
Chris

[CA central coast]

Originally Posted by caldje

What classifies as flaunting it? I mean, it will probably be noticeable when two young guys move from ohio together and do everything together won't it? I mean, we dont carry rainbow flags or make out in the streets or even hold hands i guess..(its a shame the world is this way) but many people's definitions of 'flaunting it' include simply keeping to ourselves but not lying to anyone if they ask. Ya know?

Tehachapi was great.. I enjoyed my visit. It'll be nice to be able to still have winters while having a more temperate climate than northern ohio at the same time. It was beautiful and has everything you would need on a daily basis, making a trip to Bakersfield rarely a necessity. It really is kind of perfect for my fiance and I. I just hope we dont get lynched by a mob for being the new gays in town. The nature of my profession involves public exposure, a decent ammount of people will know me and I wont want to lie about who I am. Any thoughts?

Sincerely,
Chris

Wil you be making out on a park bench? That's flauting it! C'mon, you know what the poster meant. Don't play with our intelligence. Gay couples can live anywhere in this state. What's ironic, is the only place I can think of that may have a problem it is Bakersfield. CA's bible belt. And, I doubt it'll even be a problem there.

[drunk on kool aid]

Originally Posted by caldje

1) I will be moving with my soon to be husband. One of the reasons we are moving is because we are so happy to be able to get married this october.

Please be aware that Proposition 8 will be on the November ballot which would amend the California State Constitution to read, "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." Only a simple majority is required for passage.

If the amendment passes, it is unclear whether same sex marriages which were performed before the amendment will remain valid or not.

I don't want to rain on your parade but just wanted you to be aware that the status of your future marriage is not assured in California.

Best regards.

[caldje]

Originally Posted by drunk on kool aid

Please be aware that Proposition 8 will be on the November ballot which would amend the California State Constitution to read, "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." Only a simple majority is required for passage.

If the amendment passes, it is unclear whether same sex marriages which were performed before the amendment will remain valid or not.

I don't want to rain on your parade but just wanted you to be aware that the status of your future marriage is not assured in California.

Best regards.

Ammendments are not retroactive. Marriages performed before Novemeber will still be valid. Its a moot point though, no chance of passing. Just remember to go vote no on Prop 8 yourself. Its a fight thats already been won and it is bringing much needed educated workers/services/money into the state.

With regards to knowing what she meant by "flaunting it" I really didnt know. I wanted to clarify and get a feel for what that person meant as a means for getting an idea of how accepting this area would be. After all, is holding hands in public flaunting it when straight couples do it?

Sincerely,
Chris

[Christine Joan]

Proposition 8 is not expected to pass. Even without Proposition 8, CA recognizes domestic partners, so I wouldn't let a ballot initiative which is not expected to pass discourage you. However, as someone has pointed out, Bakersfield is CA's bible belt and after CA courts legalized same sex marriages, Bakersfield stopped performing civil wedding ceremonies. I think I remember reading that they claimed it would cost too much, but I think many believed that there were other reasons that remained unstated.

The local police department probably keeps crime statistics on "hate crimes" against gays and if they do, that might help you to get a better idea of what to expect there. Almost anywhere in CA is going to be much more tolerant than even the most liberal city in Ohio.

[caldje]

Originally Posted by Christine Joan

PAlmost anywhere in CA is going to be much more tolerant than even the most liberal city in Ohio.

Thank you for your informative post. I will look call and ask about the hate crimes statistic.

The part that I quoted is exactly what I was thinking. I mean, it cant POSSIBLY be worse than where I am now. lol. I have consulted a lawyer about my job now and the issues they have with gay employees and he said to move out of Ohio.

Anyways, thanks for everyone's help. I certainly appreciate the opportunity the people of California have given me and my family and cant wait until prop 8 is defeated. I will work as hard as i can to repay you guys.

Sincerely,
Chris