My husband wants to move and I dont...plz respond ASAP (moving, children)

[BennyPhoenix]

A big part of the problem is you are living behind your parents for free. This kills his self esteem.
Also, your parents may be great, but to him they may be a big pain in the butt. Trust me, no man wants to see his in-laws everyday no matter how good they are to him. READ THAT LAST SENTENCE 100 times!!!
At the very least you both need to move at least a few blocks from your parents and support yourselves.

[Oerdin]

He's saying my way or the highway so it seems you made a really bad choice on who to marry. If you give in then then he'll always know that when push comes to shove it will be his way or the highway. You're in school and you need help with the two children while your family is right there at hand and willing to help so logically, unless he can come up with a better arrangement, then he needs to accept this situation as best for his family. In an event the unemployment rate in Plumas County is even higher then San Diego County so the odds are he'll still be unemployed in Plumas and you won't have the support network there to help you out. This guy needs to swallow his ego and do what is best for his family or he is no man at all.

I can understand a man not wanting to relaying on his inlaws for support but it would be one thing if he already had a good paying job with health insurance but he doesn't. At the very least he should agree not to disrupt your studies just because his ego is hurt. You can try for marital counciling but I doubt you'll see a sea change in his attitude so unless he starts manning up you need to realize you picked a loser and plan accordingly.

[ranzchic]

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[nmnita]

Originally Posted by leezb

Your husband seems to have classic symtoms of an abuser. There are books about this sort of thing. He doesn't want you to succeed. I have a friend who is a doctor. She is doing very well. The fact that he can't see that two years will go by fast shows his lack of insight. You are wise to make plans. He has none. His threats to leave are a control issue. To do this to you when you are going to have another baby shows you that he doesn't give a crap about you. He needs counseling. Misery loves company, and this loser will not be happy until he makes you miserable. Do not yield. If he cared about you he would be struggling for the benefit of your family (you and your child and new baby.) His behavior is despicable. He needs to be told to "man up." Unbelievable. Let him go his way. You will meet some fine person in medical school who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Your life is an investment. What you leave behind is your children. Set a good example and get rid of the bum before he ruins your life. Sorry to be so blunt, but there are books about this type of behavior in law school libraries or online. Good luck.

this is an old thread, the OP hasn't been back since the very beginning or shortly thereafter, I guess we can all save our breath, whatever he is or she is, probably doesn't make much difference at this point.

I think we are all judging the situation after hearing only one side...

Nita

[eureka1]

I hope she dumped him.

[Bluesmama]

Hopefully you planted your feet firmly in the ground to meet your goal; if not, you're probably finding it more difficult already. If you're still pursuing it. He tried to sabotage your opportunities for his own selfish needs, and I also find it very bothersome that he wasn't looking ahead into the benefits of your lives together once you complete Med school. Maybe he's just young and still immature, but I hope you didn't compromise this one.

Let us know what transpired.

[curanipedoug]

Hard to imagine you put this decision to a public forum. It can only mean you have one foot out the door as he obviously does. His ultimatum was designed to exact a No Way - then he is justified saying the break up is your fault. You already know what you want to do. You just resent the guilt load.

[coyoteskye]

Originally Posted by curanipedoug

Hard to imagine you put this decision to a public forum. It can only mean you have one foot out the door as he obviously does. His ultimatum was designed to exact a No Way - then he is justified saying the break up is your fault. You already know what you want to do. You just resent the guilt load.

I hope they've figured it out by now since the original post is a year old.

[DDanielle]

Tell your husband u will move after med school. Time sometimes heals everything. I'd comprise and say "let me finish school and we can relocate knowing I will have a job." if he says no now then tell him marriage is comprise. And if he agrees then maybe his Mind might change by the time your done with school. Divorce shouldn't cross ur mind if it's true love. But keep in mind, ur child comes first in this. So finishing school would be the best. Show him that. And stand ur ground as a mother finish school and if he leaves do a long distance till u graduate it's not easy but military wife's do long distance and if u love him it will work.

[jaijai]

^^^^ the original post is 4 years old.