Comedy, Is this true about California? You Know You're In California When. (Empire: fit in)

[John1960]

You Know You're In California When

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You Know You're In California When

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

9. You can't remember.....is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2009."

19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.

20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.

21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

23. Both you AND your dog have therapists. --

And You Know You're From California When:

* The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

* You were born somewhere else.

* You know how to eat an artichoke.

* The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

* Your car has bullet-proof windows.

* Left is right and right is wrong.

* Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

* Your mouse has only one ball.

* You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.

* You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

* You drive to your neighborhood block party.

* Your family tree contains "significant others."

* Your cat has its own psychiatrist.

* You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.

* You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.

* More than clothes come out of the closets.

* When "the Dead" are best live.

* You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

* Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.

* More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.

* Smoking in your office is not optional.

* You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

* When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."

* Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

* Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

* You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.

* You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

* A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.

* When all highways into the state say: "no fruits."

* All highways out of the state say: "Go back."

[buckeyenative01]

Sort of, but those are all grossly broad generations.

Ironically, I fit about 80% of the stereotypes of the "You know you're from Ohio when..." . I actually discovered the Michael Stanley Band because of that thing.

[Adriatica]

Originally Posted by John1960

Is this true about California?

Nope.

[californialove24]

Originally Posted by John1960

You Know You're In California When

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Know You're In California When

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

I Can't Either!

8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

9. You can't remember.....is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

SomeTimes

11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

True

12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

True Dat!

13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

Funny

18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2009."

Dam Right

19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.

20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.

21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

It's a Pre Caution

22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

23. Both you AND your dog have therapists. --

And You Know You're From California When:

* The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

I almost got a Ticket.

* You were born somewhere else.

I Am

* You know how to eat an artichoke.

* The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

* Your car has bullet-proof windows.

Some are Sound Proof.

* Left is right and right is wrong.

Totally Dude

* Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

* Your mouse has only one ball.

* You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.

* You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

* Your family tree contains "significant others."

* Your cat has its own psychiatrist.

* You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.

* You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.

* More than clothes come out of the closets.

True

* When "the Dead" are best live.

* You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

Most celebs do not sure about reg people.

* Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.

* More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.

* Smoking in your office is not optional.

* You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

* When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."

* Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

* Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

Very True.

* You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.

* You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

* A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.

* When all highways into the state say: "no fruits."

* All highways out of the state say: "Go back."

My Minds Says That.

^^My Comments is in my Quote Under the underlined Statements.

[ferretkona]

Sooooooo, is pot illegal?

[sonarrat]

This is more of a Southern California list.. though I can relate to being shocked to hear a conversation in English on the bus. Especially the 22. I think I actually turned around and stared at them a second to make sure they were for real.

[1AngryTaxPayer]

U get in an accident and the other driver doesn't speak English, has no license/ insurance or flees the scene.

[ExNooYawk]

You can find these amusing lists about almost any state. Here's one from mine:

[SIZE=4]YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NEW YORK CITY WHEN...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]* You think Central Park is "nature."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* $50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that it means Manhattan.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* Hookers and the homeless are invisible.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* The subway makes sense.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* Your door has more than three locks.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You go to a hockey game for the fighting. In the stands. To participate.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard. You complain about having to mow it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You are a skee-ball juggernaut.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You consider Westchester "Upstate."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You cried the day Mayor Ed Koch took over for Judge Wapner.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]* You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.[/SIZE]