Who has tried moving to another state (Oakland: contractors, college)

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by Agenias

OK,
I'm an Ohio native, moved to Cali after I graduated nursing school and hubby graduated with a degree in computer engineering. I got a great job in San Jose as did he as a software engineer.
We had a 16 month old and a 4 year old when we moved and we weren't sure if we could afford a house even with an income of about 150K. My mom kept telling me that we should move back and buy a huge house in Ohio, they would watch the kids for us, ect.

We moved back... and we hate it. Unfortunately, we did buy a house in Ohio, so now we have to try and sell it. We are still hoping to move back to the bay area this summer. Fortunately, my husband's company asked him to work for them via telecommuting, so when we move, he will simply go to the office more often. I've already spoken with my hospital and can have my position as well.

Reasons we hate Ohio:
Weather is awful (we hate cold, and I'm not real fond of the tornados).
People are just not nice.
I hadn't realized it until we moved to CA and then moved back, but women are definitely treated 'differently' in Ohio.
Racial tensions are palpable.
Did I mention that the weather sucks?

My mom is already whining about our upcoming move, but we are just not listening. She can certainly choose to live here if she desires, we just felt at 'home' in CA. We know that our house isn't going to be as nice as the one here, and we've accepted it. We think CA has more to offer our children in culture, outdoor activites, and education.

I wish we were back already, however, at least now, we realize our mistake and know that CA is the only place for us!

Always nice to here from another Ohioan, although I have to say that my list of why I don't like Ohio is much longer (I've been here 36+ years). Like you, we also moved from CA (we lived in OC for several years in the 80's) back to OH due to family here and also having children and having them near family. My health business does much better in CA than here, that's for sure. I haven't noticed the difference in how women are treated here, but maybe that's because I don't have anything else to compare to?? I do know that the climate (at least in NE OH) is about ready to do me in; the months on end of grey and bleak, even without the February freezer months, is something else. Of course housing is cheaper, that's because the jobs are negligible.

P.S. Do not worry about what other people think. They've had their opportunity and they still do. Everyone gets the opportunity to use their own free will and live the life that best suits them. Guilt only works so far. If your parents were sick or something, I wouldn't abandon them, I would do what I could to help...but, as you might have noticed, some Ohioans wouldn't leave the state if h*ll froze over. My own 85 year-old MIL (who is the only living grandparent left), had to be prodded and pulled (almost literally) to leave for the winter and spend time with her daughter that lives in a warm weather climate. That's incredible. I could go on and on, but I better stop.

Wishing you a good move back.

[Cali4life80]

Originally Posted by sheri257

That's the thing ... people always talk about how cheap these places are but, they rarely mention wages because they are so low.

That is, afterall, why these places are so cheap ... low wages.

I guess you could come out ahead in some cases but, generally there's not more money to be made in cheaper states.

Exactly!! See thats why it isnt worth it to me. After months of looking for a job in Idaho, I finally had to resort to working in a potato processing plant and even that paid crap! Here I am with two college degrees working in a potato plant, needless to say I was humiliated but you gotta do what you gotta do especially if you need money just to live. But I wasn't living because the wages were so poor I couldn't even afford to get out on my own. You have to work twice has hard here just to make a decent wage in these cheaper states.

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by Agenias

OK,
I'm an Ohio native, moved to Cali after I graduated nursing school and hubby graduated with a degree in computer engineering. I got a great job in San Jose as did he as a software engineer.
We had a 16 month old and a 4 year old when we moved and we weren't sure if we could afford a house even with an income of about 150K. My mom kept telling me that we should move back and buy a huge house in Ohio, they would watch the kids for us, ect.

We moved back... and we hate it. Unfortunately, we did buy a house in Ohio, so now we have to try and sell it. We are still hoping to move back to the bay area this summer. Fortunately, my husband's company asked him to work for them via telecommuting, so when we move, he will simply go to the office more often. I've already spoken with my hospital and can have my position as well.

Reasons we hate Ohio:
Weather is awful (we hate cold, and I'm not real fond of the tornados).
People are just not nice.
I hadn't realized it until we moved to CA and then moved back, but women are definitely treated 'differently' in Ohio.
Racial tensions are palpable.
Did I mention that the weather sucks?

My mom is already whining about our upcoming move, but we are just not listening. She can certainly choose to live here if she desires, we just felt at 'home' in CA. We know that our house isn't going to be as nice as the one here, and we've accepted it. We think CA has more to offer our children in culture, outdoor activites, and education.

I wish we were back already, however, at least now, we realize our mistake and know that CA is the only place for us!

Just let your mother prattle on about how great Ohio is. If she likes it there - good for her - she can stay. My mom is like that too, only in reverse. My mom can't wait to get out of California and constantly yaps about how much more wonderful life will be if only she can get the heck outta CA. She couldn't believe we hated living in TX. She still tries to entice us to check out other states. I always ask "But why? We're perfectly happy here." The very things she thinks she will "escape from" in CA are all over the US. In fact, probably all over the world. Illegal immigrants - yep, they got 'em in every state. Traffic - check, it's there too. Okay, so houses are cheaper elsewhere, but is a house really the key to your happiness? Ugh!!! I get so frustrated with her sometimes.

Unfortunately, if she leaves CA and finds she doesn't like where she moves to, she's stuck! She won't be able to afford to move back here and unfortunately for my poor dad, she's gonna drag him down with her. He doesn't want to leave CA but he also doesn't want to hear the nagging and constant whining about moving out of state.

[Agenias]

Donna7 and Cali4life80,
Thanks for writing back! My husband and I attended college in Toledo! We now live in Mansfield (amongst the cornfields ).
I'd love to see your list of hating Ohio. I'm sure there are more things I wasn't thinking of at the moment!
My parents are in impeccable health! My mom runs 3-5 miles/day and she's only 50 years old. My dad is also in his 50's and very active. I agree though, if they were really sick, I would stay to help them. They are both teachers and will have a pretty good retirement as well.

Thank-you for reassuring me that I am not being an awful person for leaving! My mom makes me feel that way! She told me that if we move not to bother coming to her funeral as she wouldn't even know me anymore! How's that for a parent to treat their child. I think part of the reason we want to go back is the interference by them constantly. My in laws are 100% for it! They want to move to AZ themselves.

I agree that some Ohians would not leave no matter what! Part of the reason we came back was that my mom kept talking about how great it was, blah blah blah. We hadn't lived in Ohio in about 2 years and the allure of buying a house right away was enticing. Come to discover that owning a house isn't all that important!

I hear ya on the weather! I hadn't realized that other parts of the country saw so much more sun than Ohio! It's gloom and doom so much of the year. We've got cabin fever right now and it's so depressing!

I just felt that women were treated more as equals in CA. I feel a bit like I'm in the 80' here or something. My husband's work is paying for him to come and visit CA next week for 7 days and I want to go so badly, but our oldest is in Kindergarten, so I have to stay here for him (my parents are not retired yet).

Anyhow, I hope that you also can move sooner rather than later!
take care!

[Agenias]

Hi Twinkle Toes!
I can feel your pain! I'm glad you are back in CA though, and I'm willing to bet, your mom is going to want to move back asap if she does relocate!
Yeah, illegal immigrants are everywhere! In Ohio, we are very far from the border, but there are many that come to farm in the area (they are called migrant workers), some stay and some leave. It doesn't really bother me, but my mil doesn't like it. Traffic is also everywhere. We found less traffic in San Jose than we did in Toledo (a city 1/3 of the size, although it was probably due to the horrible drivers on 75 who constantly caused accidents).

Maybe your mom can travel to different areas and stay for like a month or so to get a feel for the place? Perhaps she'll decide that she should stay put in CA.

Take care!

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by Agenias

Donna7 and Cali4life80,
Thanks for writing back! My husband and I attended college in Toledo! We now live in Mansfield (amongst the cornfields ).
I'd love to see your list of hating Ohio. I'm sure there are more things I wasn't thinking of at the moment!
My parents are in impeccable health! My mom runs 3-5 miles/day and she's only 50 years old. My dad is also in his 50's and very active. I agree though, if they were really sick, I would stay to help them. They are both teachers and will have a pretty good retirement as well.

Thank-you for reassuring me that I am not being an awful person for leaving! My mom makes me feel that way! She told me that if we move not to bother coming to her funeral as she wouldn't even know me anymore! How's that for a parent to treat their child. I think part of the reason we want to go back is the interference by them constantly. My in laws are 100% for it! They want to move to AZ themselves.

I agree that some Ohians would not leave no matter what! Part of the reason we came back was that my mom kept talking about how great it was, blah blah blah. We hadn't lived in Ohio in about 2 years and the allure of buying a house right away was enticing. Come to discover that owning a house isn't all that important!

I hear ya on the weather! I hadn't realized that other parts of the country saw so much more sun than Ohio! It's gloom and doom so much of the year. We've got cabin fever right now and it's so depressing!

I just felt that women were treated more as equals in CA. I feel a bit like I'm in the 80' here or something. My husband's work is paying for him to come and visit CA next week for 7 days and I want to go so badly, but our oldest is in Kindergarten, so I have to stay here for him (my parents are not retired yet).

Anyhow, I hope that you also can move sooner rather than later!
take care!

Hi Agenius, here's my post on Ohio that I posted in the Ohio forum: http://www.city-data.com/forum/ohio/...et-line-3.html

Your parents are young. Well, now that I'm 45, 50 is indeed young! (wink)! So your parents are teachers; I assume that they're sticking around for retirement. At this point in their life, they don't want to start again, but on the other hand, if they're 50 and slightly over 50 (your dad), it leads me to assume that you're probably in your 20's or maybe early 30's? You have your whole life ahead of you; you certainly (in my humble opinion) need to live where there is opportunity for all of you. I wouldn't worry about your mom sticking to her threat of you not coming to her funeral; that's just mom guilt talk - LOL! I'm sure that she doesn't mean anything by it, just something that she knows is going to get to you a bit. And Argenius, if you do decide to move, the longer you stay and the longer your child(ren) get entrenched in school, the harder it will be to relocate. I'm not at all saying, do this or do that, rather, I just want to support you and say that whatever you decide it will (1) be okay, and (2) your parents will still love you and your family. I guarantee that! In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if your parents, once they retire from teaching, won't decide to live closer to you and their grandchildren. Life has a way of working out that way.

P.S. - We lived in Toledo for a while. My husband attended the U of Toledo; graduated with a degree in pharmacy. We both also attended U of Akron. My degree is in accounting, went back for nursing; did not finish, but enjoyed nursing pre-req. classes. Hoping that your little one is having fun in kindergarten. Can you believe how fast that time went and he's already in kindergarten? Our youngest (of seven children) is in kindergarten as well. Our oldest (almost 24) will be finishing college this year with an Education degree (Chemistry/Biology). The time goes fast. Make every moment count. Best wishes to all of you!

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by Cali4life80

Exactly!! See thats why it isnt worth it to me. After months of looking for a job in Idaho, I finally had to resort to working in a potato processing plant and even that paid crap! Here I am with two college degrees working in a potato plant, needless to say I was humiliated but you gotta do what you gotta do especially if you need money just to live. But I wasn't living because the wages were so poor I couldn't even afford to get out on my own. You have to work twice has hard here just to make a decent wage in these cheaper states.

Cali4life80, you've been through the wringer; I am so happy for you that you're moving back to CA soon. Good night.

[cobmw]

All you expatriats need to get hopping back to CA. U-Haul rates in that direction are a bargain. CA is broke again. This time in a big way. They need some middle class people to move back there so they can stick it to you with taxes and fees. It wouldn't hurt if a few of you rich guys in the 10.3% bracket moved there too. Be sure to bring your kids. The new school textbooks will be ready for next year. Lots of good new material about homosexuality as a lifestyle equal to married life. And they will be learning all about global warming in the new texts (both new subjects approved by the CA legislature). Of course your kids will turn out to be among the least educated kids of any industrialized (and some non-industrialized) country on earth. No problem - lots of jobs as government workers where brain use is not encouraged.

[Cali4life80]

Originally Posted by cobmw

All you expatriats need to get hopping back to CA. U-Haul rates in that direction are a bargain. CA is broke again. This time in a big way. They need some middle class people to move back there so they can stick it to you with taxes and fees. It wouldn't hurt if a few of you rich guys in the 10.3% bracket moved there too. Be sure to bring your kids. The new school textbooks will be ready for next year. Lots of good new material about homosexuality as a lifestyle equal to married life. And they will be learning all about global warming in the new texts (both new subjects approved by the CA legislature). Of course your kids will turn out to be among the least educated kids of any industrialized (and some non-industrialized) country on earth. No problem - lots of jobs as government workers where brain use is not encouraged.

Whoa! You are one bitter, miserable person. You must have got burned bad in life, poor you. We're glad ppl like you don't live in CA and detest it so much that you'll stay away from it. CA here I come!!!!!

[versatile.]

I tried Texas..Austin.
I hated it.
It was very humid and hot (and rainy..still hot) :/
The area was nice, very suburban but I couldn't adapt to the heat.
And everything was far.
Came right back to California after about two weeks.