New York City or California for dating? (universities, living in)

[BayAreaHillbilly]

Originally Posted by Kalika

Her comment that she said she is looking at either CA or NYC didn't seem to register with you. Both are "blue" (state and city respectively)...doesn't that suggest something about what she is looking for?

The fact that you equate raising a family with living in a red state is rather myopic and small-minded. Sorry, but it's true. Believe it or not (I know it's shocking), in my 10 years in CA I met a lot of very grounded, very nice families. In fact, some of the loveliest families I've met anywhere -- even in that sinful "blue" state.

I call 'em like I see 'em, if you don't like it, tough. I live in a "wealthy" zip code and indeed there are families here. That does not mean that I like what I see. I am well traveled both domestically and globally and again, I call 'em like I see 'em.

[City Boy]

Red states like to hide the fact they are perverted and twisted just like most everybody else. All that family talk they do is BS. They buy prostitutes, do coke, and cheat on their wives like the best of the "libs". It's all BS to make money. That red state blue state stuff is a garbage.

[Mach50]

Originally Posted by City Boy

Red states like to hide the fact they are perverted and twisted just like most everybody else. All that family talk they do is BS. They buy prostitutes, do coke, and cheat on their wives like the best of the "libs". It's all BS to make money. That red state blue state stuff is a garbage.

Truth.

[Ashlae]

I've lived in Virginia all my life. This past 2008 election VA voted for Obama but other than that it's a red state. I'm looking to live in a more liberal state or city.

[MisterDuke]

Originally Posted by Ashlae

I'm a single female and I'm planning on going to college in NYC or California. I much prefer CA. I love cities in California like Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco because I love the beach and my personality is more laid back. The thing is I want to someday settle down and get married. How is the dating scene in California? What are the guys like

According to the census California has more unmarried people than married, and the numbers are growing. There are so many people in California, from so many backgrounds and social and financial strata and interests, finding like-minded people is fairly easy.

[BayAreaHillbilly]

Originally Posted by Ashlae

I've lived in Virginia all my life. This past 2008 election VA voted for Obama but other than that it's a red state. I'm looking to live in a more liberal state or city.

Here is another observation. Here, you see many people still single at age 35 or 40. Your choice. Good luck.

[hsw]

Smart to plan ahead

Get into best college possible; will likely be in CA or Northeast and will draw smartest, most ambitious guys from all over US (and will run into this social network in NYC or SF or LA for rest of one's life)

Post-college, at least for past 25yrs, smartest (and self-made wealthiest) guys from all these top colleges end up either in Manhattan in financial industry...or in SiliconValley/SF in tech or financial industry

No matter how much money, simply can't duplicate nr-perfect weather/topography/grub of SF Peninsula; life in Manhattan sucks in many ways no matter how much money one has

Sure, most really successful younger guys in NYC or SV hesitate to marry (and place 50% of their assets at risk in a divorce)...but such is life in high-powered, upwardly mobile regions with lots of wealthy, self-made <35yo guys....it's ultimately a personal lifestyle choice; every region has positives/negatives; need to decide which balance works best vs one's preferences

[westcoastorbust]

I'm taken aback by the hostile comments.
I live in Boston so have no first hand knowledge but..
I think dating in Southern Cali is likely harder because of the extreme pressure to be tiny and gorgeous. I would imagine Northern Cali or NY would be better.

[coyoteskye]

Originally Posted by westcoastorbust

I'm taken aback by the hostile comments.
I live in Boston so have no first hand knowledge but..
I think dating in Southern Cali is likely harder because of the extreme pressure to be tiny and gorgeous. I would imagine Northern Cali or NY would be better.

yes to northern caliFORNIA.
no-one needs to be skinny or perfected here.
how's boston?
i used to live in cambridge.
sometimes posts are hostile.
it's a drag.

[sansea]

Originally Posted by Ashlae

I'm a single female and I'm planning on going to college in NYC or California. I much prefer CA. I love cities in California like Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco because I love the beach and my personality is more laid back. The thing is I want to someday settle down and get married. How is the dating scene in California? What are the guys like

Wow, what a bunch of interesting responses. (shaking my head)

Ashlae, I've lived in 3 of the cities (NY, LA, SF). Here's my best take.
Do keep in mind that I am making broad, sweeping generalizations. You can find any kind of man, anywhere.

Cali is very laid back and very fun in an open and creative kind of way. That's a good thing, because it allows for independence of thought. It's a bad thing because sometimes the people are sooo laid back than there is a laziness or lack of accountability with them, even with friends. I've seen more of this in LA than SF, though. There is also more overt pretense in LA than SF, but SF has it also, they just try to camouflage it. Life and dress is pretty casual in LA, and that goes for dating too. Think flip-flops, active wear, and yoga, alongside hip, trendy venues. Lots of aggressive industry types, lots of actors, and that gets old after a while, because everybody is trying to BE somebody. (except those that are, and often they just want to get away)

NYC is more formal on all fronts, from dress to activities to dating. LA men will expect you to split the tab, NYC men will be happy if you pick it up every few times. The men are more conservative in NY, so there is a more traditional dating style. More business/financial types of men.

SF has more of a hippie vibe, but plenty of intellectuals and business, just a little more laid back than NYC, but not so much as LA. Still pretty conservative, but softer. SF is probably my overall favorite city in the US. It's beautiful, clean, the people are really nice, and the pace is reasonable. It's a more gentle city than LA and NY.

Academically, all 3 have fabulous universities. Lifestyle-wise, each are different, kind of like different personalties. If you have the opportunity, it would be a good idea to visit each. Given airfares these days, it's more economical than ever before. Just watch BING for the best rates. In NY and SF, you can take mass transit to get around. In LA, you'll need a car.

Whatever you do, the most important thing is for you to find something that you are passionate about, and make that your life. Your career and your identity will make you an individual woman that is very appealing. Work hard and become financially independent. Watch people you admire and learn from them. Be self protective and have high expectations for your life partner. Strive for the life that you want, and keep it in the front of your mind, not letting yourself be distracted. This will protect you and build character, because you will take yourself seriously.

You are asking the right questions, despite the responses that you got here. Keep following your head and your heart, and you'll be in good shape.

Best of luck to you.