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Old 02-25-2010, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Mokelumne Hill, CA & El Pescadero, BCS MX.
6,957 posts, read 22,251,408 times
Reputation: 6469

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I moved away from CA for 9 years and I have to say I was the same way. For me, life was a struggle though and my income quite frankly sucked almost the whole time I was away. I moved mostly because my wife wanted to and in the end, that's how she became my first ex-wife.

Good luck to your family, sounds like they might need it.
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Old 02-25-2010, 11:59 AM
 
2,654 posts, read 5,450,652 times
Reputation: 1946
Quote:
Originally Posted by vdy1985 View Post
Your son is making serious cash in Vegas. People don't make that much money working easy, low-stress jobs/hours. Perhaps that is what is really getting to him as well. Sure money is great and all, but when you are stressed out and working very hard to earn it, it isn't so great.
This was my first thought as well. Additionally, sounds like he had a thriving socail life in Chico full of fun and activities. I have often seen with men that the higher the income the less real friends they have, because more income means more time at work and less time to socailize and develop/maintain relationships. Sounds like he may be missing all the interaction with friends and buddies he had in Chico. Money can't replace that.
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Old 02-25-2010, 03:00 PM
 
1,687 posts, read 6,056,971 times
Reputation: 830
My concern would be that the move is exposing some core values differences between your son and his wife.

She is happy in Vegas because "all night life, high paced life style" and tries to get him to go to "upscale restaurants, talk him into buy his dream car", etc.

But that appears to not be the lifestyle he wants. What I hear in your words is that your son wants a much simpler lifestyle.

Your son and his wife need to sit down and talk, with or without a marriage counselor. They are on diverging paths and unless they find a middle ground they may pass a line in their marriage that they cannot come back from.

The move and new job are tough enough on your son, but if he also feels he is being pressured to live a lifestyle that does not match his personality that will add to the unhappiness.

Your son may find his happiness in Vegas, but it will be by living the type of life HE wants. It may be that he needs to live a simpler life in Vegas not the exciting high life.
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Old 02-25-2010, 03:10 PM
 
Location: El Dorado Hills, CA
433 posts, read 1,615,344 times
Reputation: 206
If I went from 60k to 200k I'd be loving it. But money aien't everything.
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Old 02-25-2010, 04:09 PM
 
Location: California
37,081 posts, read 42,050,241 times
Reputation: 34889
Sounds like a small town outdoorsey type of guy. Not a Vegas type of guy. Maybe you can convince him to stick it out for a year or so to bank some cash, assuming the wife doesn't blow it on fancy cars, private school and high end night life, then maybe he can suck it up. Otherwise it doesn't sound like he has gained anything by this move and should probably head back to Chico where he can thrive. If you want to see the kids that badly perhaps you should consider relocating to Chico. It's a great place for retirees.
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Old 02-25-2010, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,956,169 times
Reputation: 13467
Sounds like you and his wife are the one's trying to decide what will make him happy ... when he had what made him happy all along. He should never have gone along with the whims and wishes of others. If he wants to drive a Jeep - let him drive a Jeep! If he was happy with the "old" friends, why does he need "new" friends? It sounds like he prefers a simpler life without all the flash and trash. Why is that a bad thing?
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Old 02-25-2010, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,229 posts, read 16,256,180 times
Reputation: 26005
He should never have allowed himself to be coaxed into moving if he loved his home in Chico that much. I am a very firm believer that one must love his/her surroundings, and some people are just not as adaptable as others. I am one of those who is not.

My first husband did that to us shortly after we got married. I was living in Merced, loved it there, and did NOT want to leave it. But he decided that he wanted to return to Texas and I went there pretty much kicking and screaming. I hated Texas. Three years later, when I was 7 months pregnant, we moved to Oregon as a compromise.

Oregon's beautiful but I haven't been nearly as happy in my living arrangements since California. I still miss it and, 28 years later, still have firm plans to move back.

It's good that your daughter-in-law is happy there, but let's hope that their marriage does not end up in trouble. It does sound like he's angry with everyone, including himself.

I also agree with Captain Dan.
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Old 02-25-2010, 10:57 PM
pll
 
1,112 posts, read 2,479,004 times
Reputation: 1130
Quote:
Originally Posted by vdy1985 View Post
Your son is making serious cash in Vegas. People don't make that much money working easy, low-stress jobs/hours. Perhaps that is what is really getting to him as well. Sure money is great and all, but when you are stressed out and working very hard to earn it, it isn't so great.
You're right. Money isn't everything. We were the most miserable when we had the most money. We lived in Seattle after being raised in SoCA. The rain was endless....
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Old 02-25-2010, 11:36 PM
 
308 posts, read 465,367 times
Reputation: 634
It sounds like Chico is more suited to your sons interests. I personally love Chico and I have similar interests as your son. Chico, being at the base of the Sierra Nevada's, offer's him the environment to do those activities that he enjoys. Activities that probably define him. Las Vegas, while it may be nice for some people, lacks in the outdoor mountain sports related activities. It's not to say that you cant find some of those activities in Las Vegas if you try hard too, but its not the same as Chico. Chico is an outdoors man paradise.

But above all, I agree with the other posters that other issues are also at play. He should probably see a counselor or come to an understanding with his wife.

Life goes by too quick to not live it how you want to.

Last edited by kgbnsf; 02-25-2010 at 11:39 PM.. Reason: typo
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Old 02-26-2010, 12:12 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,956,169 times
Reputation: 13467
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesbabe View Post
He should never have allowed himself to be coaxed into moving if he loved his home in Chico that much. I am a very firm believer that one must love his/her surroundings, and some people are just not as adaptable as others. I am one of those who is not.

My first husband did that to us shortly after we got married. I was living in Merced, loved it there, and did NOT want to leave it. But he decided that he wanted to return to Texas and I went there pretty much kicking and screaming. I hated Texas. Three years later, when I was 7 months pregnant, we moved to Oregon as a compromise.

Oregon's beautiful but I haven't been nearly as happy in my living arrangements since California. I still miss it and, 28 years later, still have firm plans to move back.

It's good that your daughter-in-law is happy there, but let's hope that their marriage does not end up in trouble. It does sound like he's angry with everyone, including himself.

I also agree with Captain Dan.
I too moved to Texas (of my own choosing - because I was a dumbass! LOL) and I hated it too. 9 months later, I was back in California ... and back in the Coachella Valley. Should have never left in the first place, but you live and learn.
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