The myth of the "friendly Prairies" (fit in, cliquey)

[arctic_gardener]

I would like to know if I'm just expecting too much, or if others have had different experiences.

I've lived in Saskatoon (the only city in Canada I've *lived* in) for 9 years, about a third of my life. Although I'm of East Indian origin, I don't identify with the East Indian community. I've lived in different countries and have no place that tugs at my heart, no place to call home. I'd say I'm equally uncomfortable with a group of East Indians as I am with a group of Saskatchewan-born people, because the differences between me and "them" are very stark in both cases. Anyway, that's my background.

In the nine years I've been here, I've made two friends - one Chinese Canadian and a guy from B.C. That's not counting my wife, who is first-generation European (we met in Canada and her experiences are similar to mine, so this is not really about racism).

I find Saskatoon to have all the negative attributes of a larger city (people won't say hi to you on the street, traffic, very aggressive drivers, road rage) and of a small town (cliquey, cliquey, and did I say CLIQUEY?). If you didn't go to high school here, you're out of the game for life.

I find that ethnic ghettoization is subtly encouraged here. While on the one hand, there are legitimate complaints by Canadians about Indian, Chinese, Middle Eastern, etc, people staying in their own cultural ghettos, I find that people here are unwilling to accept those who try move away from that and try to integrate. Every time, I was up against a brick wall and the unhelpful comment "why don't you make friends in the East Indian community?". I've heard that multiple times. The only way one can get accepted here is to get drunk, or go hunting/fishing, or watch hockey or football games.

My wife and I are seriously considering moving to a different province. Any suggestions? Or are we just narcissistic, hypersensitive, unhappy people? Once again, I don't think racism is a factor, because I have an East Indian high school acquaintance who moved to Edmonton and became a beer-guzzling, hockey-loving, campin', huntin', fishin' maniac and he seems to be very happy with 800 Facebook friends.

People in the Prairies are polite and courteous, in the sense they will offer you a ride to civilization if you're stuck in a snowbank in the middle of nowhere in January. But they're not really friendly or accepting of new people or ideas that don't fit into neat little categories.

[nuala]

Originally Posted by arctic_gardener

If you didn't go to high school here, you're out of the game for life.

This pretty much describes small towns in Nova Scotia, as well. I think it's the way things are in small towns, in the States, too (perhaps in India, too). Our provincial gov't works hard to attract immigrants to reverse the aging of the province, but it can't force hiring, or becoming friends. I was (still am) stumped with the instinctive rejection, on a subconscious level, of anything "foreign" (including a person born in another next town, - like concentric circles of hierarchy). It could be broken with a conscious effort of gov't, the immigrant, and the local person, - that is, it involves work, it is not spontaneous. It's interesting that Nova Scotians like calling themselves welcoming and friendly people, and the transient tourists do get the smiles and the helpfulness, and carry the reputation further.

The large melting pots (Vancouver, Toronto) are less concerned with origins, looks, and accents, but there is an opinion that the relationships (incl. business relationships) are very provincial even in large cities, comparing to other countries.

[callmemaybe]

A bit off topic, but I found that even going to high school in Albany, Oregon, I was not really accepted. Maybe you'd even have to attend elementary school to be accepted in some of those towns.

[Zoisite]

Perhaps you and your wife could get involved with doing some volunteer work in your community. It's a good way to make friends.

.

[mikeyyc]

Originally Posted by arctic_gardener

I would like to know if I'm just expecting too much, or if others have had different experiences.

I've lived in different countries and have no place that tugs at my heart, no place to call home. I'd say I'm equally uncomfortable with a group of Saskatchewan-born people, because the differences between me and "them" are very stark in both cases.

Or are we just narcissistic, hypersensitive, unhappy people?

But they're not really friendly or accepting of new people or ideas that don't fit into neat little categories.

Hmmm

I think I may see the problem here...

[Stubblejumper]

Originally Posted by arctic_gardener

I would like to know if I'm just expecting too much, or if others have had different experiences.

I've lived in Saskatoon (the only city in Canada I've *lived* in) for 9 years, about a third of my life. Although I'm of East Indian origin, I don't identify with the East Indian community. I've lived in different countries and have no place that tugs at my heart, no place to call home. I'd say I'm equally uncomfortable with a group of East Indians as I am with a group of Saskatchewan-born people, because the differences between me and "them" are very stark in both cases. Anyway, that's my background.

In the nine years I've been here, I've made two friends - one Chinese Canadian and a guy from B.C. That's not counting my wife, who is first-generation European (we met in Canada and her experiences are similar to mine, so this is not really about racism).

I find Saskatoon to have all the negative attributes of a larger city (people won't say hi to you on the street, traffic, very aggressive drivers, road rage) and of a small town (cliquey, cliquey, and did I say CLIQUEY?). If you didn't go to high school here, you're out of the game for life.

I find that ethnic ghettoization is subtly encouraged here. While on the one hand, there are legitimate complaints by Canadians about Indian, Chinese, Middle Eastern, etc, people staying in their own cultural ghettos, I find that people here are unwilling to accept those who try move away from that and try to integrate. Every time, I was up against a brick wall and the unhelpful comment "why don't you make friends in the East Indian community?". I've heard that multiple times. The only way one can get accepted here is to get drunk, or go hunting/fishing, or watch hockey or football games.

My wife and I are seriously considering moving to a different province. Any suggestions? Or are we just narcissistic, hypersensitive, unhappy people? Once again, I don't think racism is a factor, because I have an East Indian high school acquaintance who moved to Edmonton and became a beer-guzzling, hockey-loving, campin', huntin', fishin' maniac and he seems to be very happy with 800 Facebook friends.

People in the Prairies are polite and courteous, in the sense they will offer you a ride to civilization if you're stuck in a snowbank in the middle of nowhere in January. But they're not really friendly or accepting of new people or ideas that don't fit into neat little categories.

Have you made any effort to actually look for like-minded people?

There is also a lot going on in that city that you don't seem to be aware of. I can't imagine the groups putting on something like Shakespeare on the Saskatchewan or the Saskatchewan Jazz festival are "beer-guzzling, hockey-lovin', campin', huntin', fishin' maniacs".

Why not, as others have suggested, get involved in some of the festivals or activites that you're interested in?