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Old 09-03-2014, 05:24 PM
 
Location: On the west coast of the east coast
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Old 09-11-2014, 11:05 AM
 
34,620 posts, read 21,465,912 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denverian View Post
Well, my dad is moving to Hospice care. The chemo the VA gave him was no longer working, so there was about a 6 week break with no chemo, then he started at a university hospital. I don't understand why there was the long gap, but both of my parents are about useless when it comes to pushing issues. They also changed the diagnosis from pancreatic cancer to metastatic something... I forgot the long word.

Anyway, my mom called crying on Saturday about how my dad hadn't moved in days, no longer eating, etc. I talked to my uncle, who lives near them (I'm 700 miles away) and he went over there and got him to a hospital. It sounds like he's just not doing well with the new chemo and has given up. I didn't ask, but it sounds like they may be stopping the chemo at this point. He should have lived at least another 15 years, but it is what it is.
I'm so sorry to hear that.

We are now almost at that same spot. My father's health has declined rapidly over the last month. He sleeps about 22 hours a day. He's been having memory issues and confusion, which we thought was due to medication, but today he has essentially lost his mental faculties. He doesn't know where he is and is doing completely irrational things. My mom thinks it has spread to his brain. My brother is trying to talk to the doctor so we can get some more tests and know exactly what is happening.

If it has spread to his brain, I'm going to discuss with my family moving him into hospice and just working on pain management. I pray this isn't the case, but I want to be prepared if it is.
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Old 09-11-2014, 03:16 PM
 
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We have an appointment for him to get a brain scan in the morning. So, we'll see.
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Old 09-12-2014, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,164 posts, read 27,115,371 times
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Originally Posted by PedroMartinez View Post
I'm so sorry to hear that.

We are now almost at that same spot. My father's health has declined rapidly over the last month. He sleeps about 22 hours a day. He's been having memory issues and confusion, which we thought was due to medication, but today he has essentially lost his mental faculties. He doesn't know where he is and is doing completely irrational things. My mom thinks it has spread to his brain. My brother is trying to talk to the doctor so we can get some more tests and know exactly what is happening.

If it has spread to his brain, I'm going to discuss with my family moving him into hospice and just working on pain management. I pray this isn't the case, but I want to be prepared if it is.
So sorry to hear that. According to my mother, my dad was doing better in nursing care and wanted his reading glasses from home. They were going to stop chemo for a couple weeks and reassess things. I've tried calling him a couple times, but he didn't answer (he has his cell phone). In some ways, I don't even want to call my mom because of her issues/situation, and then it's probably not going to be good news.

I guess they'll have to decide if they're going to try and continue chemo, or give up. I know my dad sleeps a lot too. Probably just the body's way of coping with it all. Plus pure exhaustion due to the deteriorating body.

I think part of what makes this so difficult for me is that this is a way I would never want to die. You know, to see it coming, know it's coming, and then all the suffering for so long. Most people in my family died suddenly from strokes or heart attacks, even if they're in their 80s and 90s. Or a couple seemed to lose their minds through dementia and have no clue what was going on. It was a shock when my grandfather died of a sudden stroke, but he had just been bowling (at age 89), had enjoyed life up until the last day, and never spent time in a hospital. While sad to see him go, it was kind of a happy funeral for him.
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:37 AM
 
34,620 posts, read 21,465,912 times
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My father's suffering is over, and he has passed.

In the final two weeks, his decline was severe and it was apparent he was suffering. It was hard to let go, but it was for the best.

A lot of people lose a loved one due to an accident or something like a heart attack and never had the chance to say goodbye. I was able to tell my father what he meant to me and goodbye. I am grateful for that.

My prayers to those who must suffer through this disease and those who lost or will lose loved ones to it.

Thank you to everyone who made suggestions or lent support.
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Old 09-24-2014, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,164 posts, read 27,115,371 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PedroMartinez View Post
My father's suffering is over, and he has passed.

In the final two weeks, his decline was severe and it was apparent he was suffering. It was hard to let go, but it was for the best.

A lot of people lose a loved one due to an accident or something like a heart attack and never had the chance to say goodbye. I was able to tell my father what he meant to me and goodbye. I am grateful for that.

My prayers to those who must suffer through this disease and those who lost or will lose loved ones to it.

Thank you to everyone who made suggestions or lent support.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how hard it is to see someone so close to you go through this - no way to sugar coat it. I know it's good to get that chance to say final words, but at the same time, for me it was easier when my grandfather died of a stroke so suddenly, knowing his suffering was so minimal.

Thank you for sharing your story here.
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Old 09-24-2014, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,855 posts, read 65,623,921 times
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So sorry for your loss. May the angels sing him home.
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Old 10-07-2014, 05:01 PM
 
Location: On the west coast of the east coast
484 posts, read 757,631 times
Reputation: 743
Quote:
Originally Posted by PedroMartinez View Post
My father's suffering is over, and he has passed.

In the final two weeks, his decline was severe and it was apparent he was suffering. It was hard to let go, but it was for the best.

A lot of people lose a loved one due to an accident or something like a heart attack and never had the chance to say goodbye. I was able to tell my father what he meant to me and goodbye. I am grateful for that.

My prayers to those who must suffer through this disease and those who lost or will lose loved ones to it.

Thank you to everyone who made suggestions or lent support.

I am very sorry to read of your loss. Incredibly difficult to see loved ones suffering, but I am glad you were able to have some special moments with him.



My father is going for a pet scan as his cancer markers are on an upward trend. 11 in January (remission), and now 80.
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Old 10-09-2014, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
77,772 posts, read 104,226,927 times
Reputation: 49245
Quote:
Originally Posted by PedroMartinez View Post
My father's suffering is over, and he has passed.

In the final two weeks, his decline was severe and it was apparent he was suffering. It was hard to let go, but it was for the best.

A lot of people lose a loved one due to an accident or something like a heart attack and never had the chance to say goodbye. I was able to tell my father what he meant to me and goodbye. I am grateful for that.

My prayers to those who must suffer through this disease and those who lost or will lose loved ones to it.

Thank you to everyone who made suggestions or lent support.
Pedro, I just picked up on this thread after not reading it for a few weeks. My prayers go out to you, your family and yes, your dad. I am sure he is at peace. There are no promises in life and we have to do the best we can, with the time God gives us. I do hope his suffering wasn't too bad. We have lost several friends to pancreatic cancer.
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Old 10-09-2014, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Princeton
1,078 posts, read 1,408,558 times
Reputation: 2158
My prayers go out to you Pedro and denverian and both your families, your both good and caring men, Blue Skies Forever..
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