Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Marylee, when people hear the word "cancer," some part of their brain turns off and they think unsolicited comments like this are helpful or warranted. I hope that if your husband does indeed have cancer that you take as much joy as I do in telling these people exactly where they can shove it.
These people are worse than the natural medicine woo woos. At least you can blame that on ignorance.
I know how it is with such people. I have put her on "ignore". I don't need that right now. although I do understand where she's coming from, and its the opposite end of the spectrum from where I'm at. There can reach a time when its best to let go, but not before one has even begun!
About 15 years ago, we had a cat develop cancer of the jaw. I simply couldn't let go. We took him to A&M Vet School, they put him on chemo----chemo doesn't affect cats like it does humans with the side effects, but it certainly did affect our wallet! The tumor did seem to shrink, but he couldn't eat, had a feeding tube in his stomach that I made special foods for, I kept thinking somehow he would get better. Then, one day, he rolled his head over and I saw the affected side of his face---or what was left of it! I then realized I had been torturing that poor animal! We had him put to sleep, I only wish we had done so sooner. Just last year, another beloved kitty developed diabetes and multiple related problems. There again, they said there's all sorts of things they could do to keep kitty alive, but at what quality of life? Not to mention cost. I'd learned on the previous one, know when to give up and let the animal go in peace.
However, my dh isn't an animal! We certainly intend to pursue all options available. Like I said, we have barely gotten a full diagnosis. According to the doctor he saw, kidney cancer is slow moving, and his tumor is about 2 cm, a small tumor which probably hasn't spread. The did a chest x-ray and full-body scan, apparently they found nothing had spread. They recommend surgically removing the mass as the best way to "cure" it. This type of cancer doesn't respond to chemo or radiation.
We live in Navasota, half-way between Bryan and Houston. DH went to the ER at St Joseph, which has an excellent reputation and did a thorough work-up and referred him to a local urologist for the tumor surgery. However, we also live about an hour's drive from Houston and MDAnderson, a world-renowned cancer treatment center. I'm already finding it difficult to deal with Anderson. I was on hold and transferred around Friday afternoon until the appointment line closed. Then, I tried making an apt online, but it wouldn't allow me to schedule an apt until they had received all his records. That could take weeks right there! I know, I've tried having records transferred from one facility to another, and its a nightmare. Sending facility insists they've sent it, receiving facility claims they never received it. More than once I've had to physically go to the sending facility, pick up the records, and hand-deliver them. Then, they still claim they haven't received them the day of the apt---I've learned to always keep copies!
All I can do tonight is try to put it out of my mind until Monday when I hit the phone, trying to schedule something. Another thing that has me concerned---I keep reading about how Anderson puts patients on clinical trials. Aren't there standard treatments for cancer? I'm in a whole new ballpark and have a lot to learn. It seems they might be biased towards CT because they float on grant money. I don't know if our insurance even pays for CT. Perhaps going to St Joseph might be the better choice?
Like I said, my head is swimming right now. I suppose it would be advisable to at least get a second opinion from Anderson....until we have more information we can't make decisions.
But I do know how frustrating it can be to have everyone in your face with all sorts of "advice" when they don't know WTH they're talking about. 've had rheumatoid disease for ~40 years, and seems everyone I know approaches me with totally outlandish, idiotic suggestions. Then, they expect you to be "cured" the next time they see you and fault you if you're not. Oh, didn't you follow the advice I gave you? Well, then, guess you don't want to get better....like its all my fault somehow to begin with!
Well, I expect such to come our way with this as well, so that's why we plan to keep it to ourselves as long as we can. Meanwhile, we will just try to take it one day at a time!
MaryLee, I am so sorry to read this. I don't think you have to worry about being pushed into a clinical trial as there are quite rigid guidelines for who is eligible. Usually it's someone who has few ir no other options. Good kuck.
However, my dh isn't an animal! We certainly intend to pursue all options available. Like I said, we have barely gotten a full diagnosis. According to the doctor he saw, kidney cancer is slow moving, and his tumor is about 2 cm, a small tumor which probably hasn't spread. The did a chest x-ray and full-body scan, apparently they found nothing had spread. They recommend surgically removing the mass as the best way to "cure" it. This type of cancer doesn't respond to chemo or radiation.
Yes, removing the affected kidney (if not just the tumor) is the standard approach, and often, the only intervention needed. My FIL had a cancerous kidney removed last year. The tumor had not spread, and he did not require chemo, radiation or anything else.
Fortunately, you have several options given your location. BCS is large enough that both hospitals have qualified surgeons who can take care of this, but you are close enough to Houston that going to MDACC is a very viable (and not too logistically difficult) option.
My sister went there when she was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
Sorry about your appointment issues. From what I remember, a local doctor made the arrangements for my sister. We are in a small community south of San Antonio. She was at MD the next day.
My sister went there when she was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
Sorry about your appointment issues. From what I remember, a local doctor made the arrangements for my sister. We are in a small community south of San Antonio. She was at MD the next day.
She has been cancer free for almost ten years.
I'm so glad to hear about your sister!
Perhaps I should try having the doctor call for an appointment, they might get faster results.
We have an apt for Aug 24. Not too bad, just about a week. I would be more freaked out if they said come in today!
We completed the online paperwork. One of the first things they look at was our insurance coverage. Thank God we have excellent coverage, what about those who don't? They certainly want their money. It stated in bold letters be prepared to pay your copays and deductibles upon arrival.
Well, we're on our way! We can make the trip and back easily in a day, and I'm quite familiar with Houston Medical Center.Now, gather up those records, I insist on hand-carrying them. I've had too many times when I've been told records were sent, only to get there and they don't have them. From everything I've read, this is a very treatable cancer. It appears not to have spread at this point. they did a chest x-ray, and a scan (?) I don't know all the details, I wasn't there when he went to the local doctor, but I plan to be when he goes to Anderson. Until then....prayers, please!
Marylee, when people hear the word "cancer," some part of their brain turns off and they think unsolicited comments like this are helpful or warranted. I hope that if your husband does indeed have cancer that you take as much joy as I do in telling these people exactly where they can shove it.
These people are worse than the natural medicine woo woos. At least you can blame that on ignorance.
Gee, thanks for your support for the family members for people who have died from cancer, such as myself. And you know, you're absolutely right. My brain might have turned off when I heard the word cancer. Why? Because my mother died from cancer. What about yours? My comment came from personal experience but your rude comment was uncalled for. I hope you don't have to experience cancer in yourself or any family member, because regardless of outcome, it is a horrible experience for all concerned.
(I know you aren't reading this, Marylee, but I do apologize for upsetting you. I guess your story touched a nerve I didn't think I still had).
Gee, thanks for your support for the family members for people who have died from cancer, such as myself. My comment came from personal experience but your rude comment was uncalled for. I hope you don't have to experience cancer in yourself or any family member, because regardless of outcome, it is a horrible experience for all concerned.
(I know you aren't reading this, Marylee, but I do apologize for upsetting you. I guess your story touched a nerve I didn't think I still had).
Hey, look---KNOCK IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been called out on this board numerous times, for various reasons, but I draw the line at this! Seems some people on this board come from a background that is looking to find a scapegoat. Look, Scooby---this isn't my first go-round with cancer. I watched my Grandmother die a slow, agonizing death from leukemia when I was 12. Take your "touched nerves" somewhere else, like....counseling? You still have a lot of baggage, but I'm not the garbage can! Go find somewhere else to vent!
I asked about others experiences with MDAnderson, NOT their opinions as to whether I should pursue treatments, how long, etc. We all have our crosses to bear in this life, but don't don pounding me into yours!!!!!!!!
This type of crap is what you get when you go to counseling, therapy, support groups, etc. You never know what type of crap people are going to throw at you, then that's another problem shoved at you. no, you can't just "ignore them" or "don't let it bother you" Like I've mentioned before, I've dealt with multiple health issues---both mine and family members---most of my life. Seems people think I've lost my sensibilities, I'm not even deserving of common courtesy. Seems everyone has their opinions, "cures" , wants to be part of my "drama" however they perceive it.
Go smoke some of your "Scooby snacks" The fact that you've suffered some of life's trial doesn't mean you can abuse others for it
Gee, thanks for your support for the family members for people who have died from cancer, such as myself. And you know, you're absolutely right. My brain might have turned off when I heard the word cancer. Why? Because my mother died from cancer. What about yours? My comment came from personal experience but your rude comment was uncalled for. I hope you don't have to experience cancer in yourself or any family member, because regardless of outcome, it is a horrible experience for all concerned.
(I know you aren't reading this, Marylee, but I do apologize for upsetting you. I guess your story touched a nerve I didn't think I still had).
You must be new.
I had stage IV cancer and spent several years not sure if I would see my 25th birthday. Because I was diagnosed right out of college, most of my friends disappeared not sure how to deal with a peer facing death so young. Most of my post-college friends are other young adults with cancer. More than half of them have died over the past 4 years, mostly in their 20s or early 40s.
If I had a nickel for every time someone told me their tale of woe about a parent, grandparent, friend, neighbor's cat, etc who died some horrible death from cancer, I wouldn't be so far behind my peers financially thanks to spending every penny I had (and then some) trying to stay alive and deal with the emotional ramifications cancer has left me with.
Look, I'm sorry that you lost your mom. I truly am. But as someone who ACTUALLY HAD CANCER, it is clear to me that you have no idea how hurtful, scary, and anxiety-inducing your words are. Marylee doesn't even know if her husband has cancer yet, what type, or what the prognosis might be, and here you are talking about how her family should consider not pursuing treatment. Do you see how that impacts those you are speaking to?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The fact that you've suffered some of life's trial doesn't mean you can abuse others for it