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What does it matter if WE would want to be left alone? The point is that although you are a very kind and concerned friend with your offering to come, that isn't what she wants, and you have to respect that.
Of course, you can offer again later on if it comes down to something serious.
I just want to know if patients here felt the same.
Ok, yes I am fretting over this growth but as we are in different countries she doesn't KNOW that...! I never mention it in conversation, its just this last time we talked as she had the scan that day (which was a waste of time - the health system in her country is Another Nightmare).
She is not, at all - or at least, not that she'll admit. The woman even went to work with 3rd degree burns on her butt FGS. Total denial.
I'm not talking about rushing over now, the chances are its just a cyst, they'll remove it, she'll be off work for 2 days and good to go. No Biggie.
We were talking At The End, in theory. You know, how friends do.
I would want to nurse her, if she were dying, yet she says NOPE.
Not that she's dying!!! Nor do I expect her to!! It just surprised me, that she would say she wouldn't even want to see me, if it did happen!
Surprised and hurt me!
But she is a nurse, and cares for the dying, and is totally unafraid of it. Even so, she also cares for grieving relatives so it just seems a cold thing to say, to your BFF, even if in casual conversation?
It's not about you. I repeat. IT. IS. NOT. ABOUT. YOU.
I had stage IV cancer. The only people I wanted around me were people I didn't feel like I had to take care of. Taking care of others emotions wore me down more than the cancer. As well meaning as you are, your fretting is making me a bit anxious and I'm not even the patient!
Is she absolutely alone? Are you the absolute only person who could care from her, and from another country no less? That feels very stressful. She likely feels like she will end up taking care of you, rather than the other way around. Trust me, it's much more common than you'd think and as a nurse, she knows that better than anyone.
There are 2 types of behavior when people get sick.
Type 1: I am sick, so everyone cater to me. Bring me soup, check my temperature, make sure I am eating, give me magazines to read, and keep the Netflix coming. Not being checked on stresses me out.
Type 1: Leave me alone. Let me stay in my bedroom so I can rest. I do not want to hear from anyone, because that stresses me out. I will come out when I feel better.
Haha after a lifetime of either being a mum or living alone, I would love to be type 1. I would be if I could be, IYKWIM.
You are 100% correct of course, she is a Type 2 and I would be a Type 1 if I could be.
And no, like any nurse, she has 2 grown kids who she would never dream of asking to help, that's pretty much it. All alone really, just like myself.
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